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"You know," my father said from behind me, making me jolt. Turning, I found him leaning against the doorframe, one of my suitcases sitting at his feet, handle still up. "I have wondered about that."
"You have?" my mother asked.
"Really, why?" I asked almost at the same time.
"It's just... Niro isn't the same kid he used to be," he told me, and I didn't know if he was being cryptic to protect Niro, his biker brother now, or to protect me from whatever he believed Niro had become.
"I mean, I guess, you know, he had to grow up. So did I," I said, shrugging, even if a part of me felt like I had just lost something. The boy who had been such a constant in my life, I guess. A part of me had always believed we would just pick back up some day like nothing had happened. But would that even be possible if he wasn't the same person he'd once been? Would he even want to know me anymore?
"Yeah, I guess that's true," he said, but the look he gave my mother said otherwise. It was a look I was familiar with. It was one that said We will talk about this later. Alone. It was a look he'd used a lot in my youth, when I proved too sensitive to handle some of their more adult conversations.
That said, I was an adult now.
So if he still didn't want to say anything, I felt that might be something worth stressing about.
At least my tea was nearly done, I decided as my mom turned to put some honey in it. The honey likely came from her own hive.
She'd never set out to have one, of course. But she'd overheard someone at the grocery store talking about needing to call in an exterminator to kill the hive that had formed in their unused shed, and she'd promptly decided she was the woman for the job. Only she had no plans on killing the very endangered honey bees, but relocating them. To her own backyard. She'd had a hive there ever since. And she stole a small bit of honey every now and again for her own teas or remedies.
"I'm going to get the rest of your plants in the house," my father said, giving me a forced smile.
Then he was gone before I could ask any questions.
"Mom, what is Dad talking about with Niro?" I asked, knowing I was much more likely to get straight answers from her than my father. Not because he didn't want to share with me, but because he was just a quieter, more reserved person. He shared with my mom, and maybe his brother—my Uncle Cyrus—but not really anyone else.
"I'm not sure," she told me, handing me my tea.
"But you've been here," I reminded her, shaking my head.
"Yeah, but you know me, honey," she said, taking the seat across from me, but I knew she wouldn't be there long. She was always on the go. Taking care of animals. Cutting up food for them. Tending to her garden. She loved being outside, not sitting at a table.
I did know her.
Which meant that I knew that while she married an outlaw biker, and while she loved the extended family that brought with it, she wasn't like some of the other "old ladies" of the club who liked to be at the clubhouse and involved in all its various dramas. She liked being at home with her animals. So she was often the last to know or notice when something had changed.
"So you haven't seen him at all?"
"I mean, in passing. He always says hi. But then moves on. Almost like..." she started, then trailed off, not wanting to say it.
But I knew what she didn't want to say.
"Like he's trying to avoid you."
"Yes."
Because of me.
Was that because he was angry with me?
Or just done with me?
Normally, I would say the former is better than the latter, but in all the years I had been close with Niro, he'd never been angry with me.
I knew, as a whole, he was a sort of rough-around-the-edges guy. I mean, he was raised by an ex-cage-fighting biker with the road name Pagan. Of course he wasn't going to be completely, you know, average. He was a bit darker and standoffish, a little prone to using his fists first with others, kind of grumpy at times.
But with me, he'd always been gentle and sweet. I could always make him smile.
Then again, apparently, that was before whatever this change was that my father was talking about.
"None of the other women have talked about it? His mom?" I asked.
I loved Kennedy. She was such a success story in life. She worked so hard to open her salon. And now she was starting to franchise it out to other parts of New Jersey. I spent a lot of time at her and Pagan's house when I was little, doing the girly stuff my mom wasn't as known for. It seemed strange to me that Niro would transform into a different sort of person and she wouldn't notice or say something to the other women in their little "girls club."
