“What about it?”
“How in the hell did he know that you were called Elisheva in my dreams and yours?”
“It’s called the internet, Russ,” I replied evenly.“It’s very easy to research stuff like that when you’re pulling a con.You just have to put in the time.”
“Jesus fuck, Lissa,” he swore.“How can you just dismiss his claims so easily when he knows so much?How can you dismiss howthatname appeared in both our dreams?”
I straightened in the chair, my eyes regarding him seriously.“Because the alternative is to believe that a spiritual war is coming, and thatIam the only hope for all humanity, and that’s crazier than him knowing a few facts about us, Russ.”I took a deep breath before resting back against the chair.“Plus, he talked about spiritual warfare as if it’s not something that we’re already battling.Every single day, we wake up and make a conscious decision to be good and not let evil tempt us, and that is the very definition of spiritual warfare, and unfortunately for us, evil seems to be winning.”
“Which is why those battles have now turned into an out-and-out war,” he suggested.”
“Lazarus, even if that’s the case, what am I expected to do about it?”I asked seriously.“I’m human.Even if God has really chosen me to lead the charge, we’re talking about angels and demons.We’re talking about otherworldly entities that can’t bleed to death, or be knocked unconscious, or get shot in the head.Whatever divine powers they have, they aren’t anything that a human can even begin to compete against.A battle for our souls is not going to be fought on the soil beneath our feet.It’s going to be fought in a realm that we would never be allowed to enter.”
He didn’t speak right away, but when he finally did, he said, “I like it when you call me Lazarus.”
I grabbed the armrests, then pushed myself to stand up.“I don’t have time for this shit.”
Lazarus quickly stood up, then raced around his desk until he was standing in front of me.“Don’t leave,” he rushed out.“I’m sorry.I shouldn’t have said that.”
I closed my eyes, took in another deep breath, then worked on collecting my thoughts.Unfortunately for me, out of everything that Bodhi had said, his claim that I’d felt something deeper for Lazarus that night had been the most disturbing because it’d been true.That night, every time that Lazarus had kissed me, touched me, or taken me had felt like a homecoming that I’d never experienced before.I’d felt everything that he’d done to me down to my soul, and so cutting him off cold turkey had been the only way to survive him.Had I answered even just one of his calls or texts, I would have forgiven him just for a chance to experience him all over again.
I opened my eyes, then stepped away from him to give myself some thinking space.When I looked back his way, I asked, “Have you really considered his claims about your role in all this?’
“What do you mean?”
“If we’re going to discuss the possibility of this being real, then as my protector, that puts your life directly in the line of fire, and is that somewhere that you really want to be, Russ?”
His dark eyes lit in a way that reminded me of our night together, and I hated how he could still make me feel something all this time later.“Because you think that the alternative is acceptable to me?”
“I think that if Bodhi is really Archangel Ramiel and all this is real, then it’s my problem,” I told him seriously.“The trust that he’s insisting on between us doesn’t exist, Russ.So, without that, how could this possibly work.”
“Because what’s between us is still there, Lissa,” he answered, and the bite in his voice was telling.Even though he’d been the one to fuck up, he was mad at me for not giving him the chance to make it right.“You can hate me, and you can never want to see my face again, but that doesn’t take away from what I feel for you or from what you still feel for me.”
Refusing to get sidetracked, I said, “You can’t possibly believe any of this, Russ.I mean, we’re talking about an Archangel here.”
Lazarus ran his hands through his hair again as he turned to walk back to his seat behind the desk.Once he sat down, he said, “Okay, but...let’s think about this for a sec.He said that he’s here because I fucked up, and that I was running out of time to make it right.What if I hadn’t fucked up?”
My hands gripped the back of the seat that I had vacated.“What do you mean?”
“What if I hadn’t fucked up?”he repeated.“What would have happened then?Would we have just gone about our lives, none the wiser, or would we have figured it out on our own?Or does us falling in love eliminate the need for such a battle?”
“All good questions,” I replied quietly, my mind running through everything that was being thrown my way.“I guess that’s something that we need to ask Bodhi.”
After a few seconds of silence, he asked, “What would it take to convince you?”
“What would it take to unconvince you?”I countered.
“I’m not sure that I’m entirely convince,” he admitted.“I’m just wondering why you refuse to even entertain the possibility that this is real.After all, for someone as dedicated to their religion as you are, I’d think that you’d have more of an open mind when it came to this stuff.”
“Don’t question my faith,” I told him, my voice clear that I was serious.“Don’t question my ability to see something that is greater than me, either.That’s one of the reasons why I have a high success rate with my patients.I believe in God, and I work to understand why other people also believe, so that’s not what this is about.This is about someone claiming thatIam humanity’s savior, and that just can’t be.”
“So, are you refusing to entertain the notion because you don’t want the responsibility or is it because you’re afraid that you might fail?”he asked.“Thatwemight fail.”
“I’m refusing to entertain the notion because Archangels do not come down from Heaven to interact with humans,” I corrected.“It’s always visions or whispers, Russ.It’s never someone claiming that a physical form of Heaven spoke with them.”
I wanted to sound confident, but I knew that I didn’t.I didn’t because I did have doubts.While I knew that I wasn’t capable of being a soldier that led anyone anywhere, Bodhi had hit too close to home with too many things, and I couldn’t ignore that, no matter how much I was trying.
“Look, it’s late, and it’s been a long day,” I sighed.“I’m going to go home, enjoy my three-day weekend, then start my life all over again on Tuesday.”
