"Actually, that's exactly what you said."
She rolls her eyes. "Fine. You're hot. It's not like it's some kind of secret."
"I'm glad we're being honest."
She gives me a serious look and it's so hard to stop myself from reaching for her. "Since we're being honest, why are you here? Like, really here?"
"I told you. It's a nice, quiet place." I can tell she doubts me by the way she tips her head to the side, her gaze locked on mine. She's pushing for more, that stubborn streak I'd been warned about on full display. "And I'd lost a lot of people. Whether during deployment or fighting fires, every single one of them felt like my fault. I wanted to leave it all behind and found this property. The first day I was here, it seemed that I could finally breathe again. So I stayed."
She doesn't say anything, and I'm not sure what I expect. When she sets her food down on the coffee table, I'm surprised. Ever more surprised when she turns and opens her arms wide.
"What's this?" I'm not sure what she's offering, or maybe, I'm afraid of what she's offering. And how much I want it.
"I owe you a hug. A few, in fact."
I shake my head. "You don't owe me anything, Lydia."
"Will you let me just give you a hug?" She leans close, a beaming smile on her face, and actually bats her eyelashes at me. It's startling enough that it draws a laugh, shocking the both of us. "Well, look at that, I just made the burly mountain man laugh. I bet nobody would've thought that was even possible."
The energy around us is comfortable, but there's also a tension simmering beneath it all. Pulling us closer and closer together.
"I'll let you hug me if you answer one of my questions honestly."
"Is this like truth or dare?" She shakes her head at me when I start to answer. "Fine. Ask away."
I take a deep breath, because I'm afraid that this will scare her away. But we're here and I need to know what she's really thinking. "Do you actually want to be a volunteer firefighter?"
Hurt flashes across her face and there's a part of me that wishes I could take the words back. But I have to know.
Lydia looks away and I don't miss the way a tear slips from the corner of her eye before she swipes it away.
This time I'm the one opening my arms for her and she hesitates for only a moment before crawling into my lap, letting me hold her. We're silent together, her catching her breath while I just appreciate the feel of her.
Her head is tucked under my chin, and I'm stroking the silky strands of her hair, until she finally answers my question.
"No. I don't."
10
LYDIA
Saying the words is terrifying. It's like admitting that everything I've been focusing on means nothing. Recruiting new volunteers, researching requirements, preparing the training program so it could be submitted on time.
None of that changes the truth of it all.
But Brand doesn't act surprised or ask me why I've wasted my time doing all this if I'm not going to see it through.
"Feel better?" That's his only question when I finally find the courage to look up at him. There's a softness in his eyes, and my stomach flips again as it fully hits me how close we are.
I attempt a laugh, but it sounds weak. "Yeah. Actually I do."
"Good." His grip on me tightens, and heat shoots through me when he presses a sweet kiss to my forehead. "So what do you want to do?"
In his arms, it feels safe to be even more honest. "Right after my dad died, I got laid off from work. The new budget had come out, and they didn't have enough to keep all the Case Managers in the office. At the time, it was just easier to leave myapartment, the work I didn't have anymore, and come back up here. There was plenty to do at his house."
"A good distraction." His words aren't judgmental, just statements of fact.
"But the problem is, if I don't take over the leadership of the department, there's no one else willing to do it. The department closes, the county shuts down the holiday events, and my dad's legacy is lost. It doesn't matter that I don't want to do it. I have to do it."
