“You like her, don’t ya?” I asked, needing his approval for some reason. “You think she’s hot as fuck, right?” I pushed.
“Not my type,” he answered with a shrug, which immediately annoyed me.
I wanted my best friend to see my girlfriend the way I did: perfect. “Why? Because she doesn’t have a dick?”
“Don’t be crude,” he said, frowning at me. Cooper was like that. He wasn’t a prude, but he was classier than I was. “You know I like guys so stop busting my butt, will ya?”
“Butt, huh?” I teased. “That’s a naughty word. I’m telling your mommy, you bad boy.”
“Buzz off. You’re hurting my feelings,” he confessed, which caught me off guard.
I enjoyed ribbing my best friend but never wanted to hurt his feelings. I slid off of the bed and walked to his desk where he had laid his head down, staring at the opposite wall. I placed my hands on his neck and gently massaged him. “I’m sorry, buddy. I get crude sometimes and don’t know when to stop my shit talking.”
“It’s okay,” he mumbled into the crook of his arm so I barely understood his muffled voice. He turned to face me, his head once again resting on his arm. “Can I tell you something?” he asked, gazing at me with large blue vulnerable eyes that always grabbed me by the heart and squeezed so hard I felt my knees shake.
I tugged at his shaggy hair to get him to sit up. “Always,” I responded. “Something got your panties in a bunch?” I teased.
He sat up, leaning back in his wooden chair, glaring at me. His eyes were wet. “See?” he asked, gesturing a hand toward me. “Like that.”
I took a step back, a little pissed at him for pointing out what I assumed was a flaw. “Like what?” I dared, crossing my arms.
“Oh, and now here you go with the arm crossing and daggers.”
“Jesus, dude. What am I, your boyfriend?” I spat. “You sound just like Jen lately. Both of you bitching about how I act.”
“Stop comparing me to Jennifer,” he stated. “I hate that.”
“Stop acting like her then,” I argued. “She bosses me around all the time and then I get the same fucking attitude from you, Coop. And . . .I hate that!”I emphasized.
“Then get a different girlfriend. Or maybe a different best friend.”
I stepped closer and leaned over him, inches from his face. “What the fuck is wrong with you lately? I don’t need a new best friend and you know it. I love you just fine and that’s all there is to say,” I stated. “And you love me too, right?” Iasked.
He didn’t look at me.
“Right?” I repeated, raising my voice and uncrossing my arms.
“Maybe too much,” he mumbled.
“What the fuck did you just say?” I asked, not sure I’d heard him correctly. “Did you just say too much?”
“What if I did?” he asked.
His question made me start to rethink who we were to each other. He was my everything and I didn’t want to lose him. Maybe I was being unfair when I required him to want what I wanted. It wasn’t like Cooper to ever question who we were to each other. He was my everything and I would never accept that he didn’t feel the same way. Maybe it was an unfair requirement that I had of him. “Take that back, Coop,” I demanded. He ignored me. “Take it back right now,” I said, feeling a panic I hadn’t ever felt before. What the fuck were these feelings coursing through my veins that were rushing in and destroying my heart? I suddenly felt fear that I could lose him and I couldn’t make sense of what was happening between us.
“It’s the truth,” he said defiantly. “I think my feelings for you are unhealthy sometimes.”
“No, they aren’t,” I argued. “We’re brothers, Coop. Besties, shit like that.”
“Except one difference, Mikey, I like you more than that.”
“No, you don’t,” I stated. “You’re just confused. It’s okay, buddy. I can be cooler if it helps.”
“What would help right now is for you to go home,” he said, turning away. I reached for his chin to turn him back to me but he swatted my hand away. “Just go, Mikey.”
“Fuck that!” I hissed. “You’re going to tell me what the problem is, dude, and you’re gonna spill it right now.”
Cooper pointed to his bedroom door. “I just did and you still don’t get it, so go, please?” I reached for his shoulder but he pulled away. “Now,” he added with a raised voice, something he rarely did.
