He looked away. “There’s nothing to tell you.”
I reached for his belt and slid a finger under the leather then pulled myself even closer. “This is me, Mikey. We tell each other stuff. Remember?” I asked softly. He didn’t move my hand away from his waist even though we could’ve been caught in a compromising position if someone approached.
“You wouldn’t understand,” he mumbled. “And besides, you like that guy.”
“Hastings?”
His chin fell and he frowned. “Yeah, and he’s just such a . . . such a . . .”
“Creep?” I asked.
“Not the word I was gonna use, but yeah, since you said it.”
I glanced behind me wondering if maybe Hastings had left the cafeteria and came to check up on me. He hadn’t. I returned my focus to Mikey. “He doesn’t like me that way,” I confessed. “I thought he did. At first anyway.”
“He sure seems to like Jennifer,” he said.
“You noticed, huh?” I asked.
He nodded and looked past me and toward the cafeteria. “I don’t think either one of them cares that we left, Coop.”
He was probably correct but I didn’t care. “I can’t force you to tell me what’s up,” I began. “But is it me?”
What he said next surprised the heck out of me. “Actually, it is.”
“Okay,” I replied slowly, worried I’d been the cause of his unusual behavior over the past couple of days. “Did I do something wrong? Are you angrythat I called you out last night about my feelings being hurt? I can try harder,” I said. “I was out of line,” I added, fear rushing to my gut like it always did when I thought I’d disappointed him.
“Just stop, Coop,” he said, grabbing my hand that was holding his belt. “Look at me.”
I lifted my face from where I’d been gazing at the strong hand that held mine so tenderly, fright overloading my every impulse. I wanted to run, to faint, or even die. I’d never survive if he said we couldn’t be friends anymore. “I’m sorry, Mikey,” I whispered.
“Please stop doing that.”
“Doing what?” I asked. “I said I was sorry.”
“Stop acting like you’ve made a mistake, Coop. You always acted like this,” he stated.
I looked into his blue eyes and knew that this Mikey wasn’t the usual Mikey. This boy seemed more like a man.Yeah, that had to be it.He was growing up and I was holding him back with my childish ways. He needed to grow past me and he’d finally figured it out. There’d be no more sleepovers, no more cuddling, and no more showers together.
As hard as I tried, I couldn’t stop the tears. Mikey had always been my everything. Of course, I had to learn to accept that he would never feel the same about us. But I loved him with all my heart; like the boyfriend I wished I had. Heck, even his mother knew that. I’d told her after Mikey and I had an argument and didn’t speak for two days. I was a mess but still came to his house every night and hung out with Mrs. H. while he ignored me.
“Can I still sit with you at lunch?” I asked, tears sliding down my cheeks.
“Listen to me, Coop,” he said, wiping my face with his hand. “I think you’re assuming something.”
“I need to act more manly, right?” I asked, barely containing the hurt in my voice. “You’re tired of me looking at you with puppy-dog eyes. That’s it, right? I can do better, Mikey,” I cried, choking on my words. “And now Hastings doesn’t want me either,” I sobbed, trying to hold it together as my life was shattering right in front of me.
He crossed his arms, shaking his head. “Are you done yet?” he asked. “Can I get a word in now?”
I nodded and sniffed out loud, a moment away from a complete cry-a-thon.
He lifted my chin. “I’m feeling the same way about you, Coop. I mean if you like me like a boyfriend that is.”
“You . . . you . . . what?”
“I love you like that too and I’m tired of denying how I feel about you.”
I turned toward the school and then back to him, only to turn to the school again.What did he just say?Where were they? Where were Jennifer and Hastings?I was afraid to turn back to Mikey, but I did. Surely I’d been exposed to some illicit drug in the cafeteria and was suffering from a contact high. “You love me? Like more than a friend?” I asked.
