“Come in if you want,” I said, opening the door in a huff and then heading for my desk to sit down. After pushing two books to the floor, I laid my head on my folded arms on the top of my desk.
“Take a breath, Michael,” she suggested, coming up behind me and rubbing the back of my neck. “Carrying on like this will not solve whatever it is that has you so upset.”
I inhaled deeply. “I know, Mom,” I agreed, forcing myself to remember I was her teenaged son, not the man she’d presented this fucking idea to over a week ago. Not only wasthatwoman not available to take a call, she was dead. I had the option to love and respect the one behind me.
“Wanna talk?” she asked.
“Not really,” I said, resting my chin on my hands and looking out the window toward Cooper’s bedroom. “I had a tough day. I’m being stupid, is all.”
“Well, that’s certainly not true, son. You carry a 4.0, work part-time, cheer me up when I’m down. I’d say you’re an intelligent person.”
I moved a hand to my shoulder, offering her to take it. “You’re supposedto say that, but thanks, Mom. I guess I’m feeling lost or something.”
“Lost is certainly an unusual word choice, honey,” she said. “Is this about college? Work? Dad? Are you and Jennifer having a disagreement?”
I understood that my mother wasn’t the biggest fan of my girlfriend in this universe or the other, but she would always support me. “Do you like her, Mom?”
“Jennifer?”
“Yeah. Do you like her? Do you think she’s a good person?” I asked.
Mom walked to the other side of the room, fussing with her hair and most likely putting on her mom face so she wouldn’t reveal her true feelings. I didn’t know any of this to be true of course, I based it on future knowledge which wasn’t fair to her.
I stood up, straddling the chair like a horse and leaning over the back so I could face her. Once again using my arms as a cushion for my chin. “Forget I asked. Never mind.”
Mom leaned against the wall and was quiet. After a minute or so she asked, “How do you feel about her, Michael? I think that’s the more important question.”
I spoke too quickly. “Indifferent,” I acknowledged.
Her eyebrows raised in surprise. “I see someone has been reading up on interesting emotional descriptors.Lost? Indifferent?Those are a couple of unusual choices for you to use.”
“I guess I don’t care if she is or isn’t my girlfriend,” I admitted. “She didn’t really do anything wrong,” I added, which truthfully she hadn’t in this universe. “I just can’t imagine a life with her; not like long term or anything.”
“You’re seventeen, son,” she reminded me. “I’d hope you couldn’t at this age, but that doesn’t mean the two of you can’t grow and mature, finding a mutually loving place as you grow together.”
“You always stick up for her,” I said, picking at a small scab on my arm that I was noticing for the first time. “Always so nice too.”
Mom tapped on her head and laughed. “Let’s just say your old mother is smart. Just in case you marry her.”
I wanted to saynot a fucking chance of that now that I get a do-over, but that was mean and she’d never understand the reference to a do-over anyway.
“Do you have a minute?” I asked, deciding on feeling her out about what the real issue was.
In typicalI’m a yoga fitness queenbehavior, Mom crossed her legs as she squatted into a seated position and placed her hands on her knees. “Sounds serious, Michael, and I’ve got as much time as you need.”
“Oh, you’re just loving this aren’t you?” I teased.
“Maybe,” she giggled.
“I’m about to admit something to you that may come as a total shock, Mom, so I’m warning you.”
Her face fell faster than an overloaded elevator with a broken cable. “Nobody better be pregnant in this chat,” she said, actual fear evident on her face.
“Not likely. I’m a virgin, Mom.”
She let out a massive breath and bent forward over her crossed legs to kiss the floor.
“Okay, that was weird. Even for you,” I said.
