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She slowly comes back to stand in front of me, wobbling on the high heels like a little girl playing dress-up. I pick her up effortlessly and sit on her on the table in front of me, spreading her legs so I can stand between her thighs.
“I guess you’ve never done that with the two before me?”
She shakes her head. “No. Obviously.”
“You’re scared of it?”
“Yes. You’re too big.” She glances down uneasily at my still-hard dick. Which is huge, by the way.
I suppress my laugh because I can see that she honestly is scared.
“Why didn’t you just use your word? You know I can force you if you don’t use it. If you’re really mine, I can take what I want and you give it. That’s how it works.”
She touches my chest hesitantly. “I know that, and I agreed to it. I want to make you happy. I don’t want you to be disappointed in me. I’m just scared. Lara said it hurts. A lot.” She gulps. “But if you really want it, then I’ll do it for you.”
Fuck. What can I say to that?
If she were anyone else, I would slam her down on the floor and do what I want, like I always have. I would take what I want and not give two fucks how she felt or if it hurt her and split her apart. I would prove that I was in control and that her feelings didn’t matter to me. But I can’t do that to her, because she’s willing to let me do anything to her, just to make me happy, even if it means she has to endure pain and fear to give me what I want. Because she loves me.
And I love her.
“You are changing everything for me,” I say slowly, my voice husky.
“Is that really such a bad thing?”
I look into her eyes and wrap her legs around my waist. “I have no fucking idea anymore.” I pull her head to me and crush my lips against hers, ramming my cock into her at the same time. She tightens her thighs around me and snakes her arms around my neck. She is rattling my cage so fucking hard. She doesn’t just take down my walls, she picks my locks and pulls a massive break-and-enter on me.
Tabitha
Tabi,
My brother is coming today. Ya-fucking-hoo.
I’ve never been with a girl in front of my friends or family before.
I want a relationship with my brother. This is important to him. He’s bringing his new girlfriend.
Help me do this right.
I promise not to fuck you on the table until they leave.
V
I cover my mouth and giggle. I love when his cute side shows up.
I open the gift box and find an outfit that makes me squeal. Skinny jeans, little black boots, a black leather belt, white lace tank top and a flowy black top. In a small gift bag is a necklace with a pendant that looks as if it’s made of stained glass, in the shape of a heart. It’s gorgeous.
Normal girl clothes! Squee!
I pick up the journal and the pen.
Vandal,
I will always help you do what’s right and I am honored to meet your brother.
These clothes are amazing! And this necklace is wow!
Today, I love you more.
Tabi
***
I give him a big hug when I find him out on the back deck cleaning the barbecue grill.
“I love everything,” I tell him, beaming. “Everything fits perfect. How do you manage to buy clothes for me that fit so well? It’s baffling. I can’t go shopping without trying a million things on, and I’ll end up buying two things that actually fit.”
He gives me a playful smack on my ass. “I know every inch of you, inside and out.” Looking me up and down in my new outfit, he raises his eyebrows in approval. “You look sweet. I can’t wait to rip it all off you later.”
I check him out when he goes back to cleaning the grill with a big, gnarly brush. He’s wearing dark jeans, a gray thermal shirt that outlines his chiseled chest, back, shoulders and arms, and black motorcycle boots. His jet-black hair is straight and shiny in the sun. He’s nervous about Lukas coming, but I’m really not quite sure why. There must be more to it than just him not being comfortable around people with a woman he’s in a relationship with.
“What can I do to help?” I ask, rubbing my hand on his back. “I could dice up some of that fresh fruit we have.”
“Yeah, that would be nice. Lukas is bringing steaks and teriyaki chicken kabobs and some other stuff. We have soda, beer, wine, juice and water. It’s just two of them; she’s not bringing her son.”
I look at him, surprised at the mention of her having a son. “I didn’t know his girlfriend had a kid.”
He nods. “Yeah, two kids, actually. She’s much older than him. Older than me, actually. Like, upper thirties. A cougar.” He laughs, shaking his head, and I wonder how old he is. He looks to be about early thirties. “I think her kids are seven and eighteen. She’s a good person … like you, but she’s kinda in a mess right now with her husband, and Lukas is all fucking crazy about her. They are still trying to figure shit out. I told Lukas I didn’t have a problem with her bringing her son but he thinks having a kid around is going to upset me. Especially Tommy. Katie was all gaga about him.”
He looks off out at the lake and takes a deep breath. “Some days I almost feel normal,” he admits, glancing back over to me. “I can get through the day without wanting to drink to numb the pain. Some days I can think about her without fuckin’ losing it. A few times I’ve been able to remember something cute she did and I can actually smile about it.”
I touch his hand. “I know, Vandal. I feel the same. I still have some really hard days, but they are lessening. And that doesn’t mean we’re forgetting them. Our hearts are healing. One day while I was at the cemetery, right after Nick died, an old woman came up to me, and she said something I’ve been trying so hard to hold on to. She said, ‘You’re not dead. You get to live. You get to love. And it won’t be easy, but it’s our gift in this world to be able to feel again’.”
Narrowing his eyes at me, he leans against the wood railing of the deck. “I get that. And I do want to live my life.” He looks down at his boots, his jaw clenching tightly. “I just don’t want to ever forget her, ya know?”
I do know. I struggle with that too, but it’s different for me. I lost my husband, and now I’m trying to move on with another man. I feel guilty. I don’t want to ever forget Nick, but it’s hard to move on without feeling as if I’m replacing him, and it’s hard to try to keep his memory alive without feeling as if I can’t let go of him, and let myself having feelings for Vandal.
“You won’t ever forget her, Vandal. You’re allowed to be happy, and still remember her. You can have both.”
He pulls me against his chest and wraps his arms around my waist. “So can you,” he replies.
I go up on my toes and kiss his cheek. “I’m trying,” I say. “And I’m really proud of you for not drinking again. You’re stronger than you think you are. I’m going to go cut up that fruit now.”
Just as I’m putting all the fruit into a pretty glass bowl the doorbell rings, causing my stomach to flutter with nerves as Vandal goes to the front door. I’m overcome with a bit of a surreal feeling. Meeting another man’s family is not something I ever thought I would be doing. At one time I was very close to Nick’s parents and his brother, and I considered them family. Since the accident I’ve pulled away from them, because being around them hurts too much and reminds me of all the family holidays and good times we spent together that I’ll never experience again.
From the kitchen I see Vandal open the front door and a very good-looking, young guy comes in with a pretty girl. They both hug Vandal, which catches me off-guard. I was expecting fist bumps or back-slaps between him and Lukas, not a long hug.
They make their way into the kitchen, where Vandal takes the shopping bag away from his brother and sets it on the counter.
“Hey guys, I want you to meet Tabitha.” He moves to stand next to me. “Tabi, this is my brother Lukas, and his girlfriend, Ivy.”
r /> Lukas extends his hand out to me, which is covered in tattoos, even his fingers. “Hey, it’s great to finally meet you,” he says. I smile at him and take his hand, and I have to admit I’m a little enthralled. He looks a lot like Vandal, only with shorter, black hair that reaches to his shoulders. They both have the same dark eyes, and are both muscular and covered in tattoos, but Vandal is a few inches taller. Vandal also has a dark sexuality about him, whereas Lukas has an adorable boyish charm that is a lethal combination with his bad boy, sexy look.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I reply, and then turn to Ivy quickly because I feel Vandal’s eyes on me, watching me look at his brother. “It’s great to meet you,” I say. She smiles warmly at me and gives me a hug, immediately making me feel comfortable with her. She’s pretty, in a sweet, unassuming way. She’s about my height, her long cherry-brown hair parted on the side and pulled over one shoulder, and she’s dressed casually in jeans and a pink cashmere sweater. I have that feeling you get around certain people where you just know you are going to become friends.
“You too. We’ve heard so many great things about you. We bought a ton of food. These guys eat like mad,” she says with a teasing smile and bright eyes.
We all go out onto the back deck and make ourselves comfortable around the table, while Vandal puts some music on that pipes through the outdoor speakers and then unwraps the food and places assorted steaks and chicken kabobs on the grill.
“I have my violin in the car. If I can talk my bro into it, we’ll jam a little after dinner,” Lukas says, cracking open a soda.
Vandal grins and shakes his head while he pokes at the food on the grill. “I knew you were gonna corner me.”
“I would absolutely love to hear you guys play. Vandal says you’re amazing,” I say to Lukas.
Ivy’s face lights up. “Wait ’til you hear them play, Tabitha. I could listen to Lukas play the violin for hours. The first time I heard him perform, my mouth about hit the floor. And, I didn’t even know he played.” She slaps his arm playfully. “He took me to hear the band, telling me his cousins and brother were in the band, but he didn’t tell me that he plays guest cameos on some of their songs. So we’re sitting in the club listening to them perform, and Lukas gets up to use the men’s room, or so I thought, and next thing I know he’s on stage.”
“Oh, wow!” I exclaim. “What an awesome surprise!”
