‘I think it’s time I left for England,’ she said.
She had said it. Said what had been building up in her ever since she’d woken, unable to get back to sleep, hearing Lycos’s steady breathing beside her. So near to her and yet so far.
He was staring at her now. His face had shuttered. It reminded her of how he’d looked last night.
‘Why?’ he asked bluntly.
She bit her lip. ‘I just think it’s the right time,’ she said.
‘Why?’ he asked again.
She swallowed.
‘Because—’
She stopped, twisted her hands and met his eyes, though it was hard to do. She took a breath, a difficult one.
‘Lycos, this time with you has been…amazing. Fantastic. Wonderful. Unforgettable. But…’
She paused again, then made herself say it.
‘It was never going to last, was it? It was always a kind of, well, accident really. You just turned up at themason impulse. A place you’d never chosen to own. A place that just landed on you. Then you saw me there, and I was…well, as attracted to you as you were to me. So, we, well… We started an affair.’
She drew a deep breath and looked him in the eye. ‘But I never had any…expectations because of it. Because…’ She broke off again.
She gave a smile, a wry one, that hid far more than she was prepared to let him see.
‘Lycos, you’re not just the Wolf. You’re the Lone Wolf.’
She took another breath. ‘And I know that. I know that our time at themaswas just a holiday to you. Just as showing me Paris was. It was a time out from the life you lead. That life like the race day, like that party last night. You cruise around, enjoying your wealth and why not? You’ve made it by your own efforts, you deserve to enjoy it! And in my time with you I’ve enjoyed it too. This lovely hotel, all those expensive restaurants and wearing the expensive clothes you bought me. I won’t pretend otherwise. But nor will I pretend that I mean anythingmore to you than any of my…predecessors. That’s why you’re a Lone Wolf.’
She continued to look directly at him before finishing, ‘And that’s why it’s time for me to head to England. I have to make a new life for myself. You told me that and you’re right. Themashas gone. It will never be in my life again. It will never be mine.’
Lycos was looking at her, meeting her gaze full on. She could not read his expression. She was too focussed on saying what she was saying, making herself say it, knowing she had to say it. As she fell silent, he finally got to his feet and moved over to her. He stood right in front of her and took her hands in his.
‘What if it were?’ he said.
Her first reaction was no reaction, her expression entirely blank. He repeated what he’d just said.
‘What if it were? What if themaswas yours?’
He kept his voice neutral, entirely neutral. Deadpan, like his expression.
But deadpan was not what he was feeling. When she’d made that announcement,I think it’s time I left for England,it was like a punch landing in his solar plexus. It came out of nowhere and winded him so he could not breathe.
But he’d forced himself to breathe. Forced himself to reply. To challenge her. Demolish what she’d just said by any means necessary.
And what he’d just said now was necessary.
In cards, in gaming, sometimes you had to set the stakes high. Higher than you intended, or preferred, in order to net your opponent and to keep them in the game. All so that you could win in the end.
And winning, now, was essential.
Because if I lose—
No, he could not think like that. Did not dare to. Too much was at stake.
Not themas. Something far more crucial. Vital to him.
