‘So when I got upset, after that horrible gaming party, I felt I couldn’t stay with you any longer.’
Something changed in her face. Something that it hurt him to see.
‘Then…when you’d offered me themasto stay with you I knew my decision was the only one I could make.’
Her voice dropped, twisting, ‘I could never stay with a man who thought I could be bought.’
He was silent. The gaping hollow that had been inside him ever since he’d watched her walk out of his hotel room, out of his life, stretched like a chasm that must swallow him. He could not bridge it, yet he must try. However hard it was to find the words.
‘Arielle…’ he said her name tentatively, unsurely, ‘…I made you that offer…because…because I panicked.’
She stared at him, incomprehension in her face.
‘You were going to leave me,’ he said. ‘And I panicked.’ His face worked. ‘Arielle, you said you never thought there was anything between us but an affair. If I’d put anything into words, even to myself, I would probably have thought the same. We were good together, that’s what I thought. That’s what I said to you. You were like no other woman I’d known. You were not like the women such as Natalie, who hang around wealthy men. I didn’t really think much more beyond that. Until…’
He took another breath. ‘Until you said you were leaving. Until I realised I had lost you. And that it was my own fault.’
He looked away for a moment, out over the cocktail lounge. Then his eyes came back to her. Nothing had changed in her face. Nothing at all. He felt the gaping hollow inside him still.
‘I went back to themas, determined to put it up for sale because I could not bear the memories there tormenting me.’
His expression changed.
‘But then, I realised that there was only one thing to be done with themas. To make amends.’
He reached inside his jacket pocket, drew out a thick envelope and took out the document within.
‘It’s the title deeds toMas Delfine,’ he said. ‘All authorised by thenotaireand made out in your name.’
She shook her head. ‘I can’t, Lycos. I can’t.’ It was a whisper, nothing more, and in her eyes was a look of anguish. ‘There are no amends to make. I understand, now, why you made that offer to me in Paris.’
Slowly, very slowly, he felt for the words he needed now. The words he needed to close that gaping hollow inside him and seal it for ever.
‘Do you, Arielle? Do you understand why I was desperate for you not to leave me?’
He swallowed. Painful, as if he were swallowing glass.
‘In Paris, you called me the Lone Wolf. And I have been, Arielle, all my life. You know my origins, that neither parent cared about me. That because I knew I was unimportant, was not valued by them, I made my way in the world not caring about anyone else. Oh, I hope I was never…callous towards any of the women I consorted with, women like Natalie. I dealt with them on their own terms and it was enough, so it seemed.’
He paused again. Fixed his eyes on her. Her face was very pale and her expression unreadable. He took a breath. He knew what he must say. And that if he said it he may risk it all. But he knew he had to make his final stake.
‘But with you, Arielle, it was not enough. I wanted more. So much more.’
He felt his throat tighten and he had to force the words past. These were the most important words he was ever going to say in his life.
‘After all our time together, those timeless days at themasand then in Paris, I wanted never to be the Lone Wolf again.’
Her expression hadn’t changed, but her face had whitened, like chalk.
He continued, ‘That was why I was so desperate you should not leave me.’
He dropped his gaze to the thickly folded paper on the table, the deeds toMas Delfine.He had to find more words. Slowly, feeling his heart thudding inside him, he pushed the deeds towards her. Lifted his eyes to her again.
His eyes, he knew, showed all the emotions that he felt. All that was in him and always would be. All that he felt for her.
He swallowed, finding the words that meant everything to him and always would.
‘What if themaswere my wedding present to you?’
