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I rinse my hair and shower as best I can and then go through my routine of blow-drying my hair, brushing my teeth, and getting dressed, hoping if I just act normal, he'll show up. He doesn't.
Realizing it's now noon, I rationalize that I should call someone, in case something has happened to him. I can't just sit here and ignore it, so I call Evie's cell phone.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Evie… It's Asia. I'm so sorry to bother you."
"It's okay, you can call me anytime. What's up?"
"Um… I'm a little worried. Talon never came home last night, and I tried his cell, but there's no answer and—"
She cuts me off. "Asia, he's here with us. He's fine."
My heart leaps. "He's there?"
"I thought you knew, I'm so sorry." The tone of her voice tells me she's being truthful.
"No, I had no idea. I've been freaking out all morning."
"Oh, Asia, I'm sorry. I honestly thought you knew he came home with us or else I would have texted you last night to let you know."
"Why didn't he come home? I left at about three. He was stoned and I couldn't get him to leave, and I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to come home and go to bed, and I thought you guys had left already."
She sighs into the phone. "No, Storm had this bright idea of fooling around on the roof. Don't even ask. Anyway, when we finally were getting ready to leave, we found Talon and he was kinda wasted but said you went home. We didn't want to leave him like that, so we brought him home with us and he slept on the couch."
"Was he with someone? Please tell me." I brace myself for her answer.
"No, he was pretty high and I think had a little too much to drink. I swear to you, I did not see him with another girl. He was hanging out with two guys when we found him."
A small amount of relief comes over me and I blow out a breath. "I don't like this at all, coming home alone and waking up not knowing where he is. I've been a wreck."
"Well, yeah, I would be too. Here, Storm wants to talk to you…" I hear her pass the phone to him.
"Hey, Asia." Storm's voice comes over the phone, and he actually sounds a lot like Talon.
"Hi…"
"Look, I know you're upset, and this shit isn't cool. I'll have a talk with him, 'kay? I'll set his ass straight that he can't pull this shit now that he's married."
"Well, he's an adult, so I can't tell him what to do. But honestly, this is not something I want to deal with, and he knows it."
"Trust me, he needs a kick in the ass. He's partied enough; it's time to grow up. Letting you leave the club in the middle of the night is shitty. He's going to get an earful over it."
"Yeah, it kinda was. I've been freaking out all morning. I thought something terrible happened to him or he went home with someone else."
"No, he was just stoned stupid and drunk."
"Terrific."
"Do you want to come get him? He's asleep on the couch. Or I'll bring him home."
Taking a deep breath, I switch the phone over to my other ear. "Ya know what? If you don't mind, you can bring him home. I don't think I want to be in a car with him when I'm still so mad at him."
"Good call, sweetheart. Don't worry, okay? He really cares about you. This is just a bump in the road."
"I hope you're right."
"I'm always right," he teases. "I'll have him home in a little while."
"Thank you, Storm, for looking out for him."
"Of course, he's my baby brother. I spent most of my life looking out for him. I'll see ya soon."
I end the call and run my hand through my hair, relief and frustration coursing through me. I really hope this is not a sign of habits to come because I do not want to be one of those women who is constantly worrying where her man is or what he's doing. That kind of stress will eat me alive, and I never would have married someone that I knew drank, did drugs, and didn't come home. Again, I want to have an epic freak-out on the team for setting me up with him. Why would they do this?
My feelings for him are definitely growing, but that just makes this even harder. I don't want to fall in love with someone who is eventually going to hurt me or has a substance abuse problem. I watched that kind of behavior destroy my family, my childhood, and almost my own life if I had let it.
Needing to keep my mind busy, I shut myself in my workroom and make a list of the soap orders I have to make next week. Then I sit on the floor and sort through all the random fabrics I have, trying to figure out what I can use to make some more cool stage clothes for the guys.
I'm lost in my thoughts when I hear the front door open and close and his heavy footsteps come down the hall, stopping in front of my closed door.
"Asia?" He knocks softly on the door. "Are you in there?"
"Yes."
"Can I come in?"
"It's your house."
He comes in and hesitates by the door, still wearing the same clothes, but looking pretty disheveled. "It's our house," he mumbles, his voice scratchy.
"Whatever." I start tossing my fabric back into the plastic storage boxes.
"I hate that word."
My hands still for a moment. "Let's not get started on what we each hate, Talon. I'm pretty sure my list is longer than yours right now."
"No doubt." He crosses the room and sits in the chair a few feet away from me. "Are you packing?" he asks.
"Should I be?"
"No."
Shaking my head, I shut the lids on the boxes a little too loudly. "No, I'm not packing. I was seeing what fabric I had in case you or anyone in your band really wanted me to make them some clothes."
"Of course we do."
"Great." Standing, I turn to leave the room, but he grabs my hand.
"Asia, please talk to me."
Pulling my hand out of his, I cross my arms and stare out the window, thinking how much it sucks to be so happy to see someone but also so pissed off at them at the same time. The struggle is real.
"What do you want me to say? Thanks for letting me come home alone? Thanks for letting me sit here and worry about you? Thanks for doing all the things I've worked so hard to get out of my life?"
"I'm sorry."
"I hate that word." I throw back at him.
He nods slowly, his head hanging down. "You have every right to be mad, baby—"
"Do not call me baby right now."
"Okay. I know I fucked up bad, and I'm sorry. The last thing I want to do is hurt you or make you mad at me. You do know that, right?"
"I think so."
"Don't think that, know that."
"Then show it."
He slowly lifts his head to meet my eyes, and he honestly looks like crap. Bloodshot eyes, messy hair, dark circles under his eyes. I quickly look away, not wanting to see him this way.
"I can't even look at you," I utter softly. "You look terrible."
"I feel terrible, but mostly about fucking things up between us. I didn't plan on that happening. It's just what I've always kinda done, ya know? We play, then we party after. I never had a reason not to, but now I do."
"And yet you still did it."
"You're right, and I know it was wrong. And I know sorry doesn't do shit right now, but I am sorry. I understand that drugs and alcohol are something I have to give up to make this work with you—and for me to be successful at anything, really. Storm is right. It's time for me to grow up and get away from that shit. I know I'm not perfect or in any way even fucking close, but I do care, and I am trying."
"I know that, Tal. I see it. I just can't have someone who uses drugs and alcohol in my life. I hate to say this, but if it's something you're going to continue, then we have to end this."
"I know, and I respect you for that."
