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She hugs me before I get to the door leading to the garage. "Call or text me when you get there. And don't worry."
The airport is only about forty minutes from our house and I find it with only one wrong turn, thanks to one of those epically confusing traffic circles. I follow the signs to the long-term parking area and trek to the terminal.
After collecting my ticket, I check my bags and go through security, then wait until I can finally board the plane. My fear of flying is totally confirmed when I see how tiny and close together the seats are. It is seriously ridiculous and frightening to be in such a cramped space, with total strangers—thankfully not many on this flight—up in the freaking air. I'm really rethinking my decision to take Kat up on her sedative offer right now. Between worrying about Talon and being in this claustrophobic space, I feel like I'm going to have a meltdown.
Breathe.
I finger my necklace, which usually helps me calm down, and it does now. I'm always with you.
Closing my eyes, I say a silent prayer, Please let him be okay. Please help him forgive me for being so stupid. Please give us the strength to get through this.
* * *
As promised, there's a driver waiting to take me to the hospital when I get off the plane. Half an hour later, I'm walking through the lobby doors, texting Kat as I walk, and I literally run right into Asher.
"Good timing," he says, kissing my cheek hello.
"How is he? I've been worried sick."
"Let's go sit down." He motions to a couch in a secluded waiting area off the lobby, but I don't want to sit down. I want to see my husband. Now. He puts his arm around me and leads me to the couch, motioning for me to sit.
"I spoke to the doctors about half an hour ago. They've run a bunch of tests and are pretty sure they have a diagnosis."
A diagnosis. That sounds bad to me. It isn't, "Hey, it's just an ear infection." It's something that's been given a name and required testing. And it's obviously something Asher wants to speak to me about alone first.
I swallow hard and wait for him to continue, my legs shaking.
His eyes soften and he touches my hand, just like Talon does. "You look petrified. He's going to be okay, Asia." His voice is so deep and calm, it soothes me instantly like verbal sedative, taking the edge off the fear that's been racing through my veins.
"So what's wrong with him?"
"They're pretty sure it's something called Ménière's disease."
Disease. Disease. Disease.
"Wh-What's that?" I've never even heard of what he just said. Which probably means it's rare.
"I didn't understand all the technical mumbo jumbo of what the doctor said, but from what I did understand, it's a sort of disorder of the inner ear. It causes episodes of severe dizziness, ringing in the ears, exhaustion, irritability, a pressured feeling in the ear, like when you want to pop your ear, ya know?" I nod, hoping that's the end, but it's not. "The other symptom is fluctuating hearing loss. If all that isn't bad enough, he'll most likely go completely deaf in that ear. He already has partial hearing loss, according to the tests."
I blink at him, feeling dizzy myself just absorbing that horrible list of symptoms my husband is going to experience. Talon will go completely insane if he loses his hearing; there's no doubt in my mind about that.
"Does it only happen once? Like, after this, is it over?" I ask hopefully.
He shakes his head. "Unfortunately, no. I did a quick web search while I was waiting for you, and from what I've read, he'll continue to have random dizzy spells. Some will come on very suddenly, like what happened last night on stage. Other times, it might be mild but last hours or days. There's usually vomiting caused by the vertigo, which he's had all night and this morning."
"He's getting sick? And he'll have this for the rest of his life?" That can't be. He was totally fine just a few days ago. Yeah, he's been tired and distracted and had a few headaches. But nothing like this.
"Yes. The ENT specialist said sometimes, after a few years, the symptoms will diminish, but there isn't a cure. But, he did say that each case is different. Talon may only have a few episodes per year that may last a few hours or a few days, and then he might not have another one for years. Or, in bad cases, the person has episodes weekly or monthly. It's too soon to tell."
"Oh my God, Asher. This can't be happening to him. He's such a happy, active person. This will make him miserable."
He nods slowly. "I know that, trust me. He'll be okay. We have to be positive and help him get through it."
This must be why he was so unusually harsh with me over the Danny disaster. He must have been starting to feel sicker.
"Did the doctor talk to him?"
"The doctor spoke to him, so he knows what's wrong with him now. I gotta warn you, he's pretty pissed off. I can tell he's scared."
I rub my forehead, overwhelmed with all the horrible info Asher just described. How is Talon ever going to get through this? This will destroy him.
"What do we do next?"
"They're running a few more tests, then they'll start some meds until he can see an ENT back home. He did hit his head last night, so he has a concussion. They think they might release him in two days. They're a little worried about dehydration since he's vomiting so much, so he's got an IV for fluids. He's not gonna be able to fly, the cabin pressure will make this way worse for him, so we're going to have to find a better way to get him home."
"Oh my God." My body starts to tremble, and I break out in a cold sweat.
"Let me get you some water. Stay put."
I sit in a shaking daze while I wait for Asher to return. How can this be happening? Talon is so young, healthy, and happy. He works out every day. He practices his music every day. He listens to music constantly. I can't even imagine how this is going to affect his music—or his life, for that matter.
"Here ya go." Asher hands me a paper cup of water and sits next to me again. "Asia, I know this is hard, but we have to look at the bright side. He's alive, he's going to be okay, and he can find ways to cope with this. Yeah, it sucks, but you two can get through this. He's a good kid, and he's always been very driven. He'll learn to deal with this."
"He doesn't deserve this…"
"No, he doesn't. But bad things happen to good people. It's horrible, but it's fuckin' true. No one knows that better than me. It's how we choose to deal with this shit that matters. And it helps to have someone fight with you, and he's got you. When you love someone, what happens to them, happens to you. You either fight it together, or you let it tear you apart. Right?"
I nod tearfully. "That's right. I'm not going to let this beat him. I'll be there for him through every step of this crap."
He winks at me. "I know you will. Why don't we head upstairs now? I think he'll be glad to see you."
God, I hope so.
* * *
Asher enters Talon's room first to let him know I'm here, while I wait outside the door. While we were in the elevator, Asher told me they were able to get Talon a private room, as there was quite a ruckus at the concert last night and the local fans know he's here since some of them actually followed the ambulance.
After a few moments, I hear his voice. "No. I don't want her seeing me like this."
"She's your wife, Tal."
"I don't fucking want her here." His words cut through my heart like a knife, and I honestly don't know if I can take any more. I feel emotionally drained from our fight, the flight, and now the horrible news of his disease.
"Don't make me remind you how lucky you are to have a wife who can fucking be here. Cut the shit or I'll put another bump on your head." Asher's serious voice is a force to be reckoned with.
"Just go the fuck away. Please." In the months I’ve known him, I’ve never heard him sound so disgusted and angry. He sounds lik
e a completely different person.
Asher comes out into the hall and grins at me, completely unaffected. "He's a little cranky. You can go in now. All the guys are at the hotel, so I'm gonna head over there too to take a shower. Call my cell if you need me. I'll be back in a few hours."
"Thanks, Ash."
I walk into the room slowly, not prepared for how awful Talon looks. He's pale and looks unusually small in the thin green hospital gown hanging off his shoulder. He's half sitting up, propped against a pillow, with a stainless steel bedpan on his lap that apparently he's been vomiting into, and he has an IV running into a vein in his muscular arm. His hair is stringy and clinging to his damp forehead that's got a bandage taped across it.
"Talon…" I rush to the side of the bed, tears already falling down my face as I lean in to kiss his cheek.
He turns his head away from me, not letting me touch him. "You shouldn't be here," he rasps.
"Yes, I should. There's nowhere else I should be right now." I sit on the edge of the bed and take his hand in mine.
"How did you get here?"
"I got on a plane."
His eyes close for a long moment. "You're scared to fly."
"You're right. But I'm more scared to not be with you."
He finally turns to face me, and his eyes are twitchy, moving side to side, and it's one of the scariest things I've ever seen in my life.
"Talon…"
He pushes his arm out against me as he leans forward and vomits into the pan, then collapses back onto the pillow, letting out a deep breath and closing his eyes again, his hands gripping the sides of the bed. "I'm so fucking dizzy…" he chokes out. "It won't stop…"
I never had anyone to care for me when I was sick. I literally crawled across the floor to my bathroom many times with the flu, heaving over the toilet, or lay in bed for days with a fever, wishing I would just die. I would have done anything to have someone take care of me, even a tiny bit.
