“I’m sorry, Addie.” The words aren’t even close to enough, but they’re all I have.
She sniffs. “Like you said, it was a long time ago.”
“No. Don’t make this easy on me. What I said is unforgivable…” I let those words hang in the air between us.
I could tell her that I didn’t mean a word of it but I’m not sure it matters to her now. The fact is, she believed I meant those horrible things I said for the past eight years. When she was already vulnerable and hurting, I caused her more pain than I can even bear to imagine.
Guilt and regret ball into a thick knot in my throat and I can’t swallow past them. I don’t know how to move past this, although I do know I need to figure out a way to at least try.
Chapter 18
Addison
# Never leave the house without your lucky shoes
“There we go, all in.” Chase slams Angelina’s trunk after packing all of the wedding flowers back inside, ready for us to drive to the main lodge. Things were a little awkward at breakfast this morning after our conversation last night, but actually I feel lighter for telling him what I heard him say. Like I can finally let it go.
Today, I’ll be mostly setting out the arrangements on the tables, and that’s good with me as I could do with a little break from the constant talking to people. It’s not that I’m unsociable, but sometimes I just struggle making small talk. So, a few hours to myself, making beautiful flower arrangements is exactly what I need. In fact, it sounds like heaven.
Chase stands with his arms folded across his chest and a look of pride on his face over his ability to pack everything so tidily. I have to admit I did enjoy watching him load the car, if purely from an aesthetic perspective. Who doesn’t enjoy lookingat bulging biceps and rippling forearms? “You ready to go?” he asks, snapping me from my thoughts about his physique.
“Sure, just let me grab my shoes.”
I slip on my heels and walk out of the cabin and he gives me a once over that he doesn’t even attempt to hide this morning. I’m wearing my black heels today and I pop my leg up for him. “Do you approve?”
He nods. “Although, I think I prefer the red ones.”
“Oh, you do? Well, I’m saving them for tonight. They go perfectly with my dress.”
He mumbles something that I don’t quite catch, but when I ask him what he said, he ushers me into the car and tells me we need to leave.
Brax and Eva were waiting outside the lodge for us when we arrived and we all unloaded the car together, and now we’re standing in the huge main banquet hall, where the wedding’s going to be held, along with the rehearsal dinner tonight. Currently, it looks bare, filled with tables and chairs but no personal touches. Like a blank canvas—full of potential and opportunity.
“Are you sure you don’t need any help with all of this, Addie?” Eva asks me. “It looks like it’s going to be a huge job. It’s going to take you all day.”
Yes, I know it is, and that’s exactly how I want it.
“You’re going to miss the games day Eva’s mom has set up for us,” Brax adds.
Yes, I also know this! Chase catches my eye and grins and I have to look away to stop myself from grinning right back. “I don’t need any help and yes, I’m aware it’s going to take a while, but this is what I do. And I love doing it. So, can you all go and leave me to create something magical?”
“What about food?” Eva asks. “You’ll join us for lunch, right?”
I shake my head. “Just toss me some snacks and water at some point. I’ll be fine.”
“You’re sure?” Brax asks.
“Yes!” I don’t hide my exasperation any longer. “Now I don’t want either of you to see this until the rehearsal dinner tonight, so go. Scoot. Leave.”
“The hotel staff said they’ve left all the things you asked for.” Eva nods to a corner filled with folded linens and, I hope, bazillions of string lights.
“Great.”
Brax gives me a hug. “Good luck, sis. And thanks for this.” He and Eva leave, but Chase hangs back for a moment.
“Don’t you dare ask if you can help me. I am not being your pass to get out ofgames day,” I warn him.
He smiles, that adorable one that makes my knees wobbly. “I would never. But if you need anything at all, let me know. Okay?”
