Jamie clapped me on the shoulder, his laughter filling the room, a sound I’d normally welcome, but right now, I was all over the freaking place. Attraction for Jackson, irritability at Jamie, and it was that strange itch of irritation that had me checking my watch. My sugar levels were okay, so maybe it was just plain old me being an irritable asshole.
“I just don’t know what to think,” I said.
Jamie’s laughter faded into a softer, more serious tone as he caught the hesitation in my voice. He leaned against the wall, his expression turning thoughtful. “But seriously, mate, it’s been what, two years since…” His voice trailed off, respecting the silence that wrapped around my wife’s memory.
I let out a sigh, running a hand through my hair. “Yeah, two years,” I murmured. I could feel the weight of the time passed, each day a balancing act between being a father, a professional athlete,and just… me—all while managing my health.
“And you haven’t thought about dating again?” Jamie’s question was gentle, treading lightly on a topic we rarely broached.
I shook my head, the image of the detective flashing in my mind, uninvited, but not unwelcome. “I don’t know, Jamie. It’s not just me I have to think about. There’s Daisy and Scarlett.”
Jamie nodded. “They want you to be happy, you know. They’ve said as much to Clare.”
“Clare?” I was confused.
“You know, Clare, married to your team captain?”
“I know who Clare is. I just didn’t know you talked to her.”
“We both do school pickups, of course I talk to Clare. I’ve even talked to Charles, and he’s kinda cute.” Jamie wrinkled his nose. “In a wholly straight and married way.”
I glanced up, surprised. “And the kids have talked to her?”
“Yes,” Jamie confirmed. “Kids are perceptive. They have to know you’ve been lonely.”
A moment passed as I considered his words, the truth of them sinking in deep. “But what if I’m not ready? What if I never am?”
“That’s okay too,” Jamie said, his voice steady. “But don’t close yourself off because you’re afraid. You deserve happiness, Oliver. So do the girls.”
“But a man?”
“They don’t have any trouble with Charlie’s brother, who is dating another guy.”
“But Michael isn’t their dad.”
The idea of moving on, of finding someone new, felt like trying to navigate without a compass. But, as Jamie’s words echoed in the quiet room, I couldn’t ignore the small spark of possibility flickering within me—a sign that maybe, just maybe, it was time to start exploring life beyond the roles I’d grown so accustomed to, and maybe that exploration could start with the first person I’d felt attracted to since Melissa passed. She’d made me promise to find someone to make me happy. Hell, even as I held her, and she took her last breath, she told me to be happy.
How could I do what she asked?
“Thanks, Jamie,” I finally said. “I’ll think about it. In the meantime, I need to focus on finding someone to be here for the girls permanently when you leave. I can’t expect you to stay here with them forever.”
“What if I wanted to?” Jamie asked with caution.
My chest tightened. Was he saying he wanted to be with me? And maybe not as his best friend? “We tried kissing and?—”
He thumped me in the chest. “Jesus, mate, I don’t mean us as partners. I mean, me finding a place close by and covering things you can’t do. My research is flexible, and I love the girls, and I love your face, too, you big stupid Yank.”
I shoved him back. “The girls love you. I can tolerate you.”
He grinned at me, then pushed off from the wall, clapping a hand on my shoulder as he passed. “Whatever you decide about Cop McSexy, I’m here for you. And hey, if you ever want to talk about… sexy cops or anything else, you know where to find me.”
I cracked a smile, the tension easing from my shoulders. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
He headed for bed and left me alone with the quiet hum of the house and the girls fast asleep. I found myself reaching for my phone, the weight of the day pushing me to seek some sort of connection, however brief it might be. This was so wrong. This was stupid. I bet Jackson wasn’t visiting tonight as anythingbuta courtesy, and here I was reading something into it.
I tapped out a message, the screen’s glow bright in the dim room.
Oliver: Hey, Detective, it’s Oliver. Just wanted to say thanks again for the update earlier.
