“It’s maths,” I corrected automatically, without looking up from the screen.
“But it’s not math, is it?” Oli pointed at the array of articles and notes spread out before me.
“No, I meant, maths is short for…” I glanced up and saw Oli trying not to snicker at me. Wanker. I snapped out of my research daze, realizing I hadn’t explained my sudden shift in focus. “I’m researching dyslexia,” I confessed, feeling weary.
“For working with Craig, right?” Oli probed gently but with a knowing tone.
I groaned, rubbing the back of my neck. “Does everyone except me know about his dyslexia?”
“Wait, you didn’t know?”
I muttered no, and then sighed heavily. “No, I didn’t, and so I put him in a shit situation, and now I feel guilty and stupid. I just launched into research without due diligence, which means I have to rethink with respect to accessibility, which I should have done from the start, and which I always do, but no, I was too caught up in what Sean did to me, and so desperate to get on with the project that I never even thought about the people I was researching with and…” Everything had fallen out of me in one long rush, and I exhaled noisily. “I fu—messed up,” I added.
“I’m sure you didn’t.”
I slid my phone over to Oli and showed him the message from Craig.
Oli read it out loud. “Hey, sorry about the study incident. Totes on me. If you’d like to have me back, I’d like to try again.”
“See? Now he’s blaming himself, and it was I who didn’t think, and I need to tell him that it wasn’t on him, but he’ll justthink I’m being British and apologizing, when I crossed every academic line by not only making a mess in the study, but also one here.” I gestured above our head at the bedrooms.
Oli chuckled, pulling out a chair to sit beside me. “I should have mentioned it.”
“I should have interviewed my participants properly.”
“You didn’t know.”
“But you did.”
“Craig volunteers for the Dyslexia Foundation, works with kids, raises money for the charity. Did a half marathon last year for them and raised a hell of a lot of money. It’s literally the first thing he mentions in any interview. I thought you knew.”
I sighed, a flush of embarrassment warming my cheeks. “I didn’t know. I didn’t… research him much past…” I trailed off, aware of how it would sound admitting my initial interest in including Craig in the study had not been purely academic.
Oli gave me a sympathetic look, understanding more than I wished he would. “It’s all right, Jamie. Maybe it’s a good thing. You’re learning more about him now, right? It’s not just about the study anymore.”
“Yeah,” I admitted, feeling a mix of frustration and gratitude. “It’s definitely more than just the study now.” I took a deep breath, resolving to approach my research—and my budding relationship with Craig—with a new perspective, one that acknowledged his strengths and challenges alike, and didn’t mess up.
“Uncle Jamie, can I spell favorite for you?”
I blinked at Daisy, switching back to nanny/uncle instantly. “Of course.” I listened as she spelled it out, exchanging a smile with Oli at the missing U, and then praised her success. Daisy and Scarlett might not be my nieces by blood, but they were family in my heart, and everything they did made me feel light.
“Is this the right purple?” Scarlett asked me, but Oli got there first.
When they were done choosing the right pen, he turned his gaze back on me as I sipped my coffee and stared at my iPad. “You should message him back.”
“And say what?”
“I’m guessing you already apologized to him?”
“Of course, the minute it happened.”
“So how about skipping your insane need to apologize for apologizing about the apology, and instead, ask to talk to him about his needs, and what you want from this project with him, and also how you’d like to take him on a date because he’s not been playing at his best and I can only think what you’re telling me has something to do with it.”
I blanched at how inappropriate that sounded, also that I’d messed with his hockey mojo. “I’ll suggest a meeting.”
Oli smacked the back of my head, and Scarlett snickered. “I said a date! How about asking him for a coffee? Just a chat, not a full-blown meeting with minutes, but an honest-to-goodness chat.”
I considered Oli’s words. “It would be good to iron out the parameters of the study.”
