I look at the time and curse. It’s later than I expected—much later. I’m supposed to be meeting Persephone in less than an hour, and she’s not one to wait if she thinks I’m fucking around. The fact that I got her to agree to this meeting at all is a testament of how much she cares for me.
And I’m going to use that care to manipulate her.
I launch out of bed and hurry to the closet, where I pull on three different pairs of pants before cursing and tossing them in the corner. None of them fit. There’s no time for this shit. I finally land on a slightly loose sheath dress that my stomach still presses against too prominently, but once I throw a sweater over the top, it’s not too bad. It’s hardly the visual perfection I’ve been aiming for since taking over Hera, but desperate times call for desperate measures. There’s been no opportunity to expand my closet.
No, that’s not actually true. All I’d have to do is request some clothing from one of the many assistants I keep pretending I don’t have. The problem is that making the request opens the door to commentary on my body, to speculation—andthatI cannot have. Not until I’m ready. I could go shopping myself, of course, but I’ve been hesitant to do so. It’s almost as if buying new clothing means admitting to myself that I actuallyampregnant.
There’s no accounting for how confused I am about my feelings on this entire situation.
Boots are next, my favorites paired with thick socks. I yank my hair back into a slick ponytail and pause to look at myself in the mirror. I’m a fucking mess. The hollows beneath my eyes seem larger than they were yesterday despite getting a full night’s sleep for once. The broken blood vessels in my cheeks are so prominent they make me uncomfortable. But there’s no fucking time to go through the necessary process to cover them with makeup.
I grab my purse and phone as I head out the door. It’s only when I reach the parking garage that I realize I didn’t tell Ixion about this particular excursion. I almost pause to call him, but that meanslosing more time than I can afford. Instead, I snag the keys from the bottom of my purse and click the unlock button until I can figure out which of the seemingly countless nondescript black SUVs filling the parking spots is mine. The third from the end beeps in response, answering that question.
I haven’t driven in a very long time. It feels strange to climb into the driver’s seat. Strange…and kind of freeing at the same time. I grip the wheel and take several deep breaths that do nothing to soothe me. “Okay, one minute to think about it. That’s all I get. Then I have to get my game face on.”
Another long, slow breath. “Last night was a shit show.” Saying it aloud into the stillness of the car makes everything so much more real.
I don’t know how to feel about the jagged ways Perseus and I cut each other. It should mean we’re perfectly incompatible, but the worst part is that I think we could be a solid match if we got out of our own way. I hate even considering that, because it means that…maybe I don’t hate him at all. Something changed yesterday. If I were more courageous, more fearless, I would have embraced that change instead of running from it.
But I did run from it. I take another deep breath. It’s a little silly to sit here talking to myself, but with my words settling into the space around me, I can almost imagine I’m talking to one of my sisters. “I deal in facts, not fantasies and not dreams. I can’t know if something changed for him, so I have to continue to operate as if it hasn’t.” That’s the easy part. The bit that’s not easy, that I can’t even bring myself to voice… Thingsdidchange for me.
Not knowing where his head is at…it wasn’t the wrong call toflip off the lights and turn away from the intimacy we might have been able to achieve. Cowardly, yes, but we’ve made our beds. It’s too late to try to change his mind now.
My husband is going to die. Circe may be willing to let my family—and even Hades—walk away from Olympus, but there’s no possibility she’ll extend the same offer to Zeus. He’s not the man who hurt her, but he’s part of the institution responsible for the harm she experienced. Zeus has to fall for Olympus to fall, and she’s too smart not to know that.
My stomach lurches, and I barely scramble out of the car in time to dry heave onto the dirty pavement. I don’t care if he dies. Ican’tcare if he dies. I already have the lives of my sisters and mother—and their fucking partners—sitting on my shoulders. One more person will break me. I can’t save him, and even if I could, I wouldn’t. I can’t weigh my husband’s life against my family’s. There’s no scenario where that comes out in his favor.
No, the path is permanent and set beneath my feet. There’s no space for regrets or dreams. I have to keep moving.
I drag myself back into the driver’s seat and muscle through my nausea to back out of the parking spot and leave the garage. The spot where Persephone and I are supposed to meet is a little rocky spot just south of Juniper Bridge. I’m not even certain it can be called a beach. It looks more like a broken-up slab of concrete. It’s nothing like the beach on the lake in the foothills where we spent so much time in our youth. Perfect sand, perfect temperature, perfect childhood.
The wind is cutting enough to make me wish I grabbed one of my longer coats, but it’s too late to worry about being cold now.Even in the late morning, the fog swirls heavily along the surface of the river and up onto the banks, creating a gloomy and eerie atmosphere. It’s thick enough for anyone to be hiding just out of sight, watching. My skin prickles and I wrap my arms tight around myself.
Persephone, when she arrives, does so with all the dramatics of the queen of the lower city. It makes me smile despite myself to watch the small boat cut through the fog, my sister standing at its prow, straight and confident. She appears massively pregnant, for all that I’m technically further along than she is. Twins will do that. She’s also not alone, which is about what I expected. I’m not certain how she convinced her husband not to attend, but she’s flanked by Medusa and…Orpheus.
The boat crunches up against what passes for the beach, but I’m already moving. I grab Orpheus by the front of his shirt and drag him splashing into the shallows. I barely feel the icy river cutting through my boots and dress as I punch him in the face. “You motherfucker.”
“Callisto!”
I punch him again, sending him staggering back into the water. It’s satisfying to see a bruise already blossoming on his perfect fucking face. His brother, Apollo, is handsome, but Orpheus got all of the pretty genes of their Korean mother. She was a model once upon a time, and used that fame to leverage a place for herself in one of the legacy families. He got all of his petty bullshit from her, too. He broke my sister’s heart, and even if Eurydice chose to forgive him, I have not.
Strong arms wrap around me, pinning my hands to my chestand hauling me out of the river. Medusa. She’s a tall, muscular white woman with short blond hair and the kind of good nature that makes everyone around her smile. She’s also one of Athena’s former assassins, which means she’s not to be fucked with. She carries me a few steps farther and sets me back on my feet. “That’s enough of that, Hera.”
Orpheus stumbles out of the water, his clothes plastered to his lean form. He’s already shivering. A vicious burst of glee goes through me at knowing how he’ll suffer the entire trip back to the lower city. It’s not enough, it will never be enough, but at least it’s a start.
Persephone props her hands on her hips and glares. “That wasn’t necessary.”
“I think you’ll find that it was.” Despite everything, I grin. “Don’t lie and tell me you didn’t want to do it, too.”
Her lips twitch, but she stills the expression before it can take hold. “Orpheus is now a member of the lower city and, as such, I cannot allow you to continue to assault him. You got two punches in. Be satisfied with that.”
Eurydice was distraught formonthsafter the attack orchestrated by Zeus, I won’t be satisfied until he’s suffered just as much as my sister, but I recognize a losing battle when I see one. Persephone is just as stubborn as our mother, and just as unwilling to bend when she sets her sights on something. I’m still not entirely certain what Orpheus did to earn a stay of execution fromher. It might have something to do with Eurydice taking him back and forming a triad with him and Charon.
I hold up my hands. “I’m satisfied. Are you, Orpheus?”
“Sure. Satisfied.” His teeth chatter from the strength of his shivering.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Persephone shrugs off her massive cloak and holds it out. “Take off your shirt and put this on before you freeze to death and I have to explain to Eurydice how I got one of her boyfriends killed.”
