That’s the only reason my hands fall to the front of his pants. Or that’s what I tell myself as I palm his hard cock, a physical response he’s obviously gone out of his way to ignore. Well,I’mnot going to ignore it.
Perseus grips my wrist lightly. “That’s not why I did this.”
“I know.” My chest is too full of all the things I can’t say. All the things I don’t knowhowto say. Perseus and I were doomed from the start. Our marriage will fail, will end in his death or mine. It’s all but predestined, a fate written in the stars. From the moment I saidI do, I knew it as truth. There’s no space in our fate for softness and care. I don’t know how to deal with the sudden pivot.
So I won’t. Not tonight.
“Callisto. You wereshot. Today. Mere hours ago.” He doesn’t release my wrist, but he does plant his free hand on the tile next to my face. “You need sleep. Not sex.”
Maybe he’s right, but sleep isn’t going to come for me anytime soon. More than that, a desperation is rising within me. Some asshole shot me today. I could have died. I can still feel the possibility lingering close, the darkness at the edge of my vision. A promise of oblivion that never ends. Some people go to their deaths peacefully. I’m not one of them. I will spend every last breath fighting to stay alive, to remain with those I care about.
What better way to combat death than with the purest representation of life? The logic is a stretch by any definition of the word, but I don’t care. It’s a paper-thin excuse to take what I want—and what I want is my husband.
“I almost died today.” The words come out halting, uncomfortable. “I need to feel alive, Perseus. I needyouto make me feel alive. I need…you. Please.” I’m not one to beg while still in my right mind, but I can see the stubbornness in the set of his jaw. He has a particular kind of comfort in mind, and it doesn’t involve orgasms. Maybe that’s why I keep talking. It’s certainly not in a pathetic attempt to comforthim. “You’ve taken care of me. You’re goingto keep taking care of me. I promise not to pull any athletic moves that will mess with my stitches. I’ll do whatever you say. I just need this. Please, Husband.”
His hand twitches around my wrist when I call himhusband. I’ve said it before, but the word has always contained enough derision to cut. Not this time. This time, I say it almost as if he’s my husband in truth, the husband I would have chosen without duress.
Perseus narrows his gorgeous blue eyes at me. “You’re testing me.”
“I’m not. I promise.”
“A trick, then.”
If I let him, we’re going to keep arguing all night. He wants this as much as I do, but he doesn’t trust me. I’ve given him no reason to, and I won’t in the future, either. But right now, my words are truth without any deceit behind them.
I wrap my free arm around his neck and press my naked body to his. I can’t quite reach his mouth without him bending down, so I speak against his throat. “It’s not a trick. I just need you. Will you deny me?”
His breath shudders out and he releases my wrist to press his hand to the small of my back. “No, Wife. I won’t deny you.”
22
Zeus
I kiss my wife. It’s something I’ve done a thousand times, but it feels different in this moment. It feels…intentional. Like a promise of something I don’t know if I can fulfill. Callisto is hurt and obviously shaken, and a better man would wrap her up and tuck her in and leave it at that. But she opens for me so sweetly—sweetly—and I’m a goner.
I sweep her into my arms, careful not to jar her shoulder. “If it’s too much, tell me to stop, and I will.”
She lays her head on my shoulder and presses her hand to the center of my chest. “I know.”
Two simple words, spoken without any hesitation, are nearly enough to dismantle me entirely. I set her down on the bed and shove off my pants. It takes a little more effort than it would otherwise because of the wet fabric, but I manage. Callisto props herself up on her elbows and watches me closely.
I’ve barely touched her and the intimacy of beingseenis almost more than I can bear. Despite myself, I can’t stop from glancing atthe light switch. She sees. Of course she sees. “You can turn the lights off if you want.”
IfIwant. I turn back to her. “What doyouwant?”
She nibbles her bottom lip, the move so unlike my fierce queen that I can’t help staring as if I’ve never seen her before. Maybe I haven’t. We’ve been playing war games since the moment she came to me with an offer of marriage in exchange for my protection of her sisters. We’ve never been vulnerable with each other. Not in any way that truly matters.
Callisto shifts. “I want things I can’t possibly have.”
I’m a fool a thousand times over for the desperation rising in me as I process her words and search for meaning beneath them. “You want me.”
“Yes.” She shifts, her gaze raking over me before finally landing on my face. “I want you. But I can’t have you. Not really. Even if we wouldn’t eventually destroy each other, Olympus will destroy us both.”
Her honesty draws me closer despite how much I hate her words. I climb onto the bed and stretch out next to her, mere inches away. As I search her expression, I realize I’ve never seen her look so…open. It makes me want to gather her to my chest and hold her tight, but I don’t know if she’ll allow it. I still can’t help but reach out and smooth back her damp hair. “You have me, Callisto. You’ve had me from the start.” A truth so stark, it feels obscene to say it aloud.
She shivers. “I like it when you say my name.”
I’ll say it forever if you let me.I know better than to speak that promise aloud. This moment hangs in the balance. She’s scared and vulnerable, and tomorrow, when she’s feeling more like herself,she’ll hate me all the more for witnessing this moment of alleged weakness.
