“You know, I had that same thought at one point,” I say, a sarcastic undertone beneath my words.
He looks at me, pressing the brew button and letting the machine garble as the water inside heats. “Yeah, I know.” He pauses, watching me with his hands braced on the counter. His lips twist to one side and his brow furrows. “I mean, he has nothing to worry about, right?”
I answer with more silence.
“Teeny, don’t do this.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Don’t use Everett to get back at Leo,” he says, the tone in his voice annoyed as if he assumes I’ve already considered this.
“I’m not.”
“Look, I’ve been trying to stay out of this because it’s really none of my business,” he says, that annoyance gone and in its place a voice of reason and genuine concern. “But if you’re going to end it, then end it. Don’t drag it out to punish Leo, and don’t involve Everett.”
“I’m not dragging it out, and I’m not punishing Leo,” I argue. “But these things take time. A divorce isn’t like online shopping. There’s a process.”
“So, you’re going through with it? The divorce?”
I look away, my focus on the bumpy edges of the teether made for soothing irritated baby gums. “It’s been over, James. This affair was just…It’s not worth looking past. I don’t have any fight left in me.”
The kitchen starts to fill with the warm, chocolaty smell of the coffee dripping into the glass pot. “And Everett?”
My knee jerk reaction is to deny what he’s insinuating. Even get upset that he’d question something that feels so absurd. But I realize howun-absurd his assumption is. “I don’t know.”
“Teen, what’s going on?”
I shake my head, the sting of tears hitting the bridge of my nose.
“Did something happen with you and Everett?”
I don’t know how to deny it, so I look at him just as the first tear trails down my cheek. He lets out a heavy sigh, showing how concerned he is for me. “Teeny,” he says, his voice void of judgment. “I’m not opposed to this whole thing with Everett because you’re married or whatever the fuck. I know what Leo did and…it’s inexcusable. But Everett…”
I reach for a napkin and dab at the corner of my eyes, unable to stop the tears as they flow freely. I draw in a loud sniff, and I feel it in my chest. How much of my pain has resurfaced. How those old wounds never healed. They didn’t even scab or scar. They’re still fresh.
“Does he know?”
I shake my head. “I never told him.”
“Teeny, what he did…” His voice trails. “And you were so damn young. I honestly don’t think I would’ve let that shit go if Leo hadn’t come around. But I did. Because Leo stepped in and he…he brought you back.
“I think you need to talk to Everett. He needs to know the truth.”
I nod, unsure if I can even utter the truth to myself let alone to the man who’s held on to the weight of my past for the last twenty years.
CHAPTERTWENTY-TWO
Everett
THEN
My head feelslike it’s about ten times its size. I don’t even know how I made it to my bed. But somehow, I’m nestled on a soft surface surrounded by cushions and a thin blanket. Hopefully my mom didn’t see me stumble home. But when I open my eyes, I realize I’m not in my room. I’m not even in my house. I’m still on Jake’s couch, only without the haze of darkness and flickering lights and loud music, and it makes me feel low and regretful.
A tumble of empty cans and glass bottles clatter somewhere, and the sounds feel like a fighter jet flying over me. My head starts to pound as I sit up.
“Jesus,” I mutter, my throat feeling like it’s full of coarse desert sand.
“You all right there, Hayes?”
