“Let’s just say I’ll need a few cocktails before Mina has me dancing on any bar top.”
Everett chuckles, the throatiness of his laughter causing my insides to liquify even more. Maybe it’s the soothing summer heat or this much needed vacation away from real life. Or maybe the ideology of what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, but I feel loose. Amenable to anything.
“Want to go in for a little dip?” I remove my large hat, exposing the matted mess of my hair underneath it. Everett looks at me, watching me stand from my chair while I tie my hair up in a haphazard knot.
“Sure.” He sits up, unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt before pulling it over his head. His hair comes out a little disheveled, but he smooths it out and readjusts his sunglasses.
I don’t understand how his body, unlike this face, hasn’t changed. He still has those familiar muscles lining his stomach, and the sharp edge of his collarbone that used to dig into my cheek when I’d nuzzle into him too aggressively. There’s a light smattering of hair on his chest now, slightly obscuring a tattoo on his left peck. With his deep wavy hair and his hipster swim trunks showcasing his massive thighs, he looks the part of an annoyingly, almost obscenely, attractive bachelor enjoying a weekend of debauchery in Vegas. In comparison, I look like a mom on a weekend girls’ trip to escape the realities of motherhood. My too pale skin from the lack of sun exposure and the faint stretch marks I never saw coming lining my outer thighs really are the cherry on top, as are the high-waisted bottoms I chose to hide my loose mom pooch.
I walk ahead of Everett, feeling him close behind me. I hurry, hoping if I submerge myself in the water, I won’t stand out in stark contrast to him. As soon as I’m waist deep, I turn to see Everett carefully taking the steps inside. I catch a few ladies admiring him, turning heads as they walk by, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
I coast my hands through the water, causing it to ripple around me, and Everett inches closer. He sinks in all the way and when he reemerges, his face is inches from mine. I giggle, and he squirts water from his mouth, dousing my dry cheek.
I laugh, shoving a hand into his chest, and he laughs too. “You are such trouble.”
He shoots a flirty little grin at me. “How so?”
I choose not to answer him, my eyes flitting to his chest instead. “When did you get this?” My fingers trail over his chest, outlining the dark lines engraved into his skin. It’s waves, ripples of water that look chaotic, colored in different shades of blue. Turquoise, navy, sky blue, indigo, periwinkle. I didn’t even know tattoos could be this vivid and kaleidoscopic.
He looks down at my hand, and he lays his over it, his fingertips brushing over my wedding ring as if reminding me that I’m not his to be touching. “After college.”
“It looks nice.”
He nods, tracing his thumb into my palm and trailing it down my wrist. Drops of water land around us, making light plunking noises that echo in my ears. I feel our legs and feet touch in the water where it doesn’t feel as wrong as it should. It’s probably the shrouded cloak of the sparkly surface creating an out of sight, out of mind effect. Or that there’s so much going on between us, our feet playing an accidental game of footsies feels trivial.
I can’t see his eyes through the veil of his sunglasses and droplets of water covering the lenses. My heart races and words feel like they’re stuck in my throat.
“You’re nervous?” he asks, his voice low and cautious.
I nod. “I don’t know why…”
“It’s just me, Teeny.”
“I think…that’s what I’m afraid of.”
His hand slides behind my back, pushing me closer to him, and he rests his forehead against mine. My heart seizes inside my chest. But I don’t push him away like I should, too scared to face the hurt and pain carved into the parts of my heart where I tried to forget my past. Instead, I hook my hand around his neck. This feeling starts to become all too familiar. Me in Everett’s arms where I never wanted to leave but didn’t have a choice but to.
“Why did you come back, Everett? After all this time? Why?”
“I missed you,” he whispers.
I want to tell him I missed him too. That I still do. But I can’t. Too confused and unsettled to have him looking at me, waiting for me to say something, I turn my cheek, letting it brush against his. I feel his mouth coast over my skin, leaving behind a torrid heat in its wake. He doesn’t do more, but I feel his lips. Like fingertips reading braille, scanning and studying and absorbing.
We stay there, the water moving around us in waves from people coming and going. Families frolic in the water, lovers coast by in each other’s arms, people laugh and squeal, but Everett and I don’t move. We’re fragile, the pieces of us barely held together with something weak and vulnerable. And if we move, if we break this trance, all those pieces may fall apart and become irreparable.
* * *
Okay, so maybe those heels I was telling Everett about were more like four and a quarter inches. Nonetheless, they’re going to kill me by the end of the night. But boy do I look sexy in them. These shoes paired with my bandeau top and short skirt, I look like a very single woman who is ready to mingle.
Holy shit.I’m a single woman. Well, technically not until this divorce is finalized, but once it is, I will no longer be Leo’s wife. I’ll just be me. I don’t even know whomeis. Who am I if not Leo’s wife? Sadie’s mom? Am I more than that? Well, tonight, I’m just a member of the bridal party, here to show my full support as the bride and groom embark on yet another celebration.
I give my hair one last fluff, making sure my blowout looks runway ready, and grab my small silver clutch before leaving my room. When I make it downstairs to the lobby where Mina had instructed me to meet with the rest of our entourage, I find I’m the first one there.
I’m scanning the room, hoping to catch Grace when she arrives from her hotel a block over, when I feel a light tap on my shoulder.
“You look lost,” I hear a deep voice say. When I turn, a set of glossy eyes with a sloppy moving mouth and clumsy hand gestures wait for me to say something in response.
“No. I’m fine,” I tell the drunken stranger as he smirks through a hiccup. “I’m just waiting for someone.”
