There’s nothing like a true set of puppy eyes, mastered through years and years of practice, to get a pushover mom like me to say yes. “Fine,” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Dad’s still dropping me off at camp next week, right?” she asks. “He’s been really busy. Is he even going to have time?”
“He’s a little busy, but I’ll make sure he’ll be there to pick you up on Thursday.”
“How long is he going to stay at Uncle Javi’s? I didn’t know home renovations needed this much attention.”
We—or, Leo—used the lie that his brother, Javier, had home renovations to take care of in his new house up in San Clemente and required the desperate help of Leo. While it wasn’t necessarily a lie since Javi’s fixer-upper required a lot of fixing and Leo has some experience handling most of the revamping to our home, it’s enough to fend off Sadie’s curiosity. That plus the added advantage that teenage girls have the tendency to make the world revolve around themselves and Leo’s already glaring work-related absences that she and I’ve grown accustomed to over the years, it’s made the beginning stages of this separation less stressful on my end.
“I think maybe another month or so,” I answer after a long pause of silence. One that I try to hide by peering at road signs and streets I’ve driven through a hundred times.
I finally pull into my parents’ driveway. Their cars are parked inside the garage, but I notice a fancy BMW parked in the empty spot next to me. I peer inside, hoping to find any clues to who the car belongs to as I walk up the walkway to their house. I ring the doorbell with Sadie trailing behind me, and I’m honestly impressed with the level of dexterity she has balancing the tray of coffee she’d been holding on her lap the whole time while tapping out a very rapid text message. I’m holding the pink box of donuts in my hand and when the door opens, the last person I expect to see is standing on the other side.
“Hi, Teeny.”
There’s a long pause where I’m just standing there, speechless and gawking. I blink multiple times, hoping if I do it enough times, what I’m seeing right in front of my eyes will just disappear like some illusory magic trick. Over and over again, while I try to understand why Everett is answering my parents’ door.
Sadie peers up between Everett and me, a confused furrow forming between her brows.
“Sadie. This is Uncle Josh’s friend, Everett,” I finally say after we’ve stood there in this long embarrassingly unpleasant pause of silence.
The corners of Sadie’s mouth turn up in a forced smile, and she swipes her phone occupied palm in the air, giving him an awkward wave. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too.” He answers her calmly, a tone of authority plaited into those two simple words. I don’t understand how he looks so cool and collected while I look like a frazzled mess with bags under my eyes and my tattered jeans I purposely wore to spend a day elbow deep in dirt and my knees rooted in grass stains and soil.
Sadie tucks her head down and angles her body sideways to fit through the door with Everett taking up more than half of the doorway. When she’s out of earshot, most likely beelining for the kitchen where my mom always keeps cold stashes of Yakult in her fridge, I falter under Everett’s observant gaze. “Is that your daughter?”
I nod. I shift the donuts in my hand, and Everett’s eyes focus on my left hand, right where my wedding ring glints even under the shaded awning above my parents’ entryway.
“She has your eyes.”
I don’t nod this time. Instead, my eyes narrow, unsure how to interpret his observation. Is he just trying to make conversation? Or is there some weird underlying meaning behind his comment that my daughter inherited some of my looks?
“You’re a mom now,” he adds. There’s a tenderness to his voice, and it makes something warm leak into the rigid anger spreading through my body, making it malleable and soft. He pauses before adding, “Motherhood looks good on you.” Another pause. “But, you know, everything has always looked good on you.”
A blazing fury starts to kindle inside my chest, and I feel like my fingers are tingling. Whatever crack in my anger that made my heart give in to his words is immediately filled with the remains of my resentment.
“Even heartbreak?” It wasn’t the first set of words I wanted to say to him, but it spewed out of me. What thefuckdoes he mean?
He sighs, and a line between his brow fissures, something that wasn’t there before. Something new yet old and weathered, showing how twenty years isn’t a short amount of time. “Teeny,” he protests.
“Excuse me.” I briskly pass him, walking to the kitchen. Sure enough, Sadie is standing at the far end of the island, the side closest to the refrigerator, with a small empty Yakult bottle sitting in front of her and a fresh one in her hand. I slide the box of donuts toward her, to which she silently opens and takes the twisted glaze sitting on top.
“Mom! We’re here!” I call, setting my purse down on the kitchen counter along with my keys and the remains of my reason as I try to grapple with the fact that my ex-boyfriend is in my parents’ house.
“Good morning,” my mom sings just as she enters the kitchen. She glides toward Sadie with open arms and pulls her into her bosom, nuzzling her cheek into the top of my daughter’s head. Sadie responds with a firm embrace of her own.
“Hi, Grandma.”
“Hi, my baby.” She pulls away and squishes Sadie’s cheeks between her hands. “Thank you for coming today.”
“Of course,” Sadie answers. While at fourteen years old, Sadie’s main concerns are getting a second lobe piercing, an all-expense paid shopping trip at Sephora, and apparently diving into a 2000s nostalgic time capsule, my mom is one of the only people who can pull her out of her own world. Those two are peas in a very tight pod. “Can we have somemandufor lunch?” Sadie pleads, her eyes shimmering with a pout.
“Yes!” my mom shrieks. “I just went to the Korean store and got some the other day.”
Sadie beams, and I swear I’ve completely disappeared from her periphery. “Is Dad here?” I ask, smiling at the two of them.
My mom turns to me, finally acknowledging the person who brought Sadie into the world. “He’s coming right down.” Her eyes flash to the coffee on the counter. “You brought coffee,” she says, reaching for it. “Just what I needed.”
