I have a friend group.
We have a friend group.
“Drunky one, two, and where’s Noah?” Jamie pops his head in the doorway.
“Naked and wet probably. If you’re quick, you might catch him.” Bri wiggles her eyebrows, and Jamie’s eyes narrow on her before he darts away from the door, probably doing just that. “That boy’s a goner.” She lolls her head back to me. “Come on. I’ll show you where the other bathroom is. I promise you’ll feel better.” She gets up and I watch her bubblegum-pink curls fall down her back. She’s not wearing any makeup, and I think this is the first time I’ve seen her without any of her extravagant designs.
Without it she’s just as beautiful; the makeup only enhances her delicate features. As if she can hear what I’m thinking, she smiles. “I am far too hungover for a full face right now. I think I’m going to try a Christmas light design later. Maybe. If you’d like me to do yours, just ask.” Bri gets up, holding a hand out to me. “Come on. Let’s go make you human again.”
Bri’s right. I do feel human.
Unfortunately that means I also feel like shit.
I need to apologize to Cam about what I said. I’m still angry at him. But I also know it’s my fault. I should have told him. I shouldn’t have hooked up with him knowing how I felt.
We walk into the kitchen and there are voices that stop the second Bri and I walk in. Xavi, Hunter, and Mark are eating. Hunter pulls out a chair for me to sit beside him. I hear voices again, and see Cam and Jamie outside talking. No laughing.
My heart squeezes.
The thing about Cam is that he doesn’t make friends easily. Neither do I, but most of the time that’s on purpose. People tire me out, but Cam is social. He loves to talk to people, but for somereason he just struggles with it. I watch them for a moment, a smile growing on my lips.
Jamie shoves him playfully, which forces another laugh out of his lips. I’ve never seen him like this. I expect to be jealous, but I just feel relief. “Here, Bo, eat whatever you want. There’s hash browns, eggs, and that toast is gluten free. There’s also bacon.”
I scoop some hash browns onto my plate and put a couple of eggs over them, then I drown it all in hot sauce and place a piece of toast on the side. I don’t really want it, but I know they got it for me. “I am never drinking again.”
“I think your singing has improved,” Mark says to Bri between bites.
“Really?” Bri grins.
“No.”
Her smile falls and she gives him the finger. “I am never drinking again.” Bri moves food around on her plate.
The door opens with a rush of cold air. There’s a white cast to the sky; it’s definitely getting ready to snow. When I look up I see Cam briefly glance at me, but he keeps his distance. I fucked up. I’m about to ask him if we can talk, but Jamie speaks up first.
“You mind if I go down to Ian’s for a bit?” Jamie braces his hands on the table, enclosing Noah inside his arms. He kisses the top of his head.
Noah looks up, shaking his head. “Getting a naked portrait of me done?”
Jamie laughs. “Ah, no. Sorry. I’m getting Luci’s name tattooed around the snake on my arm.”
“Oh, well, I guess that’s a better use of your time.”
“Cam’s going to come with me.” My head lifts.
“I need some air,” is all Cam says, not meeting my eyes. I just want to apologize. I want to make this okay.
Cam follows Jamie out of the kitchen and I can’t let this go right now. In the living room I grab his sweater sleeve, tugging it gently. “Cam, look—”
He turns on me, and in all the years we’ve been friends, through all the fights and arguments and senseless bickering, has he ever looked at me like he is now?
Lost.
Lost and broken. I did that. “I need some space. Okay?” He takes my sleeve out of his grip then follows Jamie to the front door. Noah’s boyfriend looks apologetic, but then they’re gone.
What have I done?
Chapter 26
