I just need to start repeating it to believe it.
“You want to come up?” Amira smiles at me a little. Fuck she’s beautiful. She’s everything I would have wanted before that night, and I don’t know . . . part of me wants to go up there, undress her, lose myself inside her, yet . . .
Bo comes to mind.
That, though, is exactly why I say, “Yeah, I do.”
I follow her up to her loft, my heart hammering with each step. This is good. As soon as we start I’ll remember how nice it is. How good women smell, how soft they feel, how responsive their bodies are. I need this. I need this reminder. I need to put this thing with Bo behind me. He’s with Sawyer right now anyway, and that’s just . . .great.
She lets me into the spacious loft, and it’s exactly how I’d picture her space. The room explodes with colors and art. She brings two glasses of wine after filling them halfway, and we walk over to the couch. I have never felt nerves like this in my life. I feel like I’m back in high school, losing my virginity to my first girlfriend. “Here.” She hits me with the full force of her white smile.
“Thanks.” I take a sip, hoping to ease the nerves inside me.
“So, dinner was fun.”
“Yeah.”
“That guy Noah set Bowen up with is super hot.” He was, fuck he was. I don’t even know what Bo’s type really is. Between me, Noah, and Sawyer, our looks are all over the place. Noah is on the smaller side, and I’d say Sawyer is only a few inches shorter than me. He isn’t as built, but I saw some muscle under his dress shirt. I’m a bit bulkier from lifting. “Cam?”
“Huh?”
Something flicks across her face. “I said that guy seemed nice. The one Bo was on the date with.”
“Oh uh, yeah, he um, yeah. He did.”
“Noah is something.” She laughs. “He and Jamie are adorable.”
I don’t know either very well, but yeah, they were cute. “I had a nice time tonight.”
She nods, setting her glass down on the table. I follow her movements. “Me too.” She slides a bit closer. Her knee brushes mine. “I really like you, Cam.” Her hand reaches out, grabbingmine, and I swallow hard, setting my wine glass down. I feel like I’m about to pass the fuck out. “Come here, Cam.”
I let her lead me to her, and she looks at me a moment before pressing a kiss to my lips . . . and fuck, she does feel good. She tastes sweet and minty. Her jasmine scent fucks with my head. She’s beautiful and everything I’ve ever gone for.
Yet it just . . . feels all wrong.
I try and lose myself in the kiss, her soft lips and softer body pressed tight to mine. My fingers find her hair. The ebony strands are silky soft and they smell so good. Her curves press to me, and part of me wants to just lose myself.
Then there’s that other part. The part inside me that’s been slowly burning since Bo kissed me all those months ago. It’s no longer a controlled burn. It's a wildfire.
Here’s the thing. I love women. I still do.
Yet.
As her soft body presses to me, and her lips work along mine with delicious pressure and intention, one thought pulses like a neon sign in the back of my brain.
Bo’s kisses feel better.
Fuck.
Slowly she pulls back, confusion on her delicate face. “You’re not into this, are you?”
“Huh?”
She pulls away from me, putting space between us. “Can I ask you a question? And please give me the truth. If you can of course.” She leans forward, grabbing her wine and drinking a few sips. “Do you have feelings for Bo?”
Freezing with the wine to my lips, I nearly choke. “What?”
“You heard me, Cam.”
