The truth is out.
Shoving my hands inside my hoodie pockets, I look down. “People always leave me, though. Lie to me. Hurt me.”
“Not Bowen. Cam, he knows you, every ugly piece, and he still loves you so much.” My knee starts to bounce.
“I’m too much.” I swallow.
“You’re not too much. In fact, you’re not giving him enough.”
It’s like a light turns on inside my brain. “Holy shit.” I scrub my face. “He fucking loves me.”
“And there he is.” Jamie laughs, squeezing the back of my neck.
“I’m so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid,” Hunter corrects. “Just really fucked up.”
“Been there.” Jamie nods. “Still there some days.
I sit back on the bench, feeling so amped up. I just need to talk to him. “How did you know you wanted to try with Noah?”
“When he left me, I realized that being without him was scarier than being with him. It’s not perfect. We’re not perfect. Some days are really hard, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
They’re right. This is love. I love him. I can’t let it scare me. I have to trust this love won’t hurt me. I have to trust him. Maybe that’s where my hangup is. I have to trust that no matter what, Bo won’t hurt me. He’s never given me a reason not to.
The door slides open as Mark steps through, looking at the three of us huddled together. "What is this and why wasn't I invited?"
Hunter’s hand is on my thigh, Jamie’s arm around my shoulders, and I’m tucked into his side. "There's your screecher." Jamie smiles. Hunter punches his shoulder, and I get up quickly as they play punch each other. Watching them for a moment mymind is made up. I need to talk to Bo. There's something I have to ask first.
“Does it bother you guys that they joke?” I ask Hunter and Jamie.
“What?” Hunter looks confused.
“That they talk and joke about their past together.”
Jamie laughs. “Past together sounds way worse than it is. A dark chapter in Noah's life when his standards were in the earth's core maybe.”
"Shut up." Mark shakes his head. “We wouldn’t do it if it bothered them. They’re big boys. They know we’re just joking around.” Mark kisses Hunter. “Noah and I had a very complicated history that we both poke fun at now.”
“He’s kind of mean to you, doesn’t that bother you?”
“Oh no. It’s our love language. If he was nice to me, I’d be concerned.”
“Don’t let them fool you, Cam, they love each other.” Jamie shakes his head.
"He's my best friend." Mark blinks. "Unfortunately."
“Seriously, Jamie and I are fine. We’re adults. They had sex, it’s not a big deal. We all have histories. They just like to constantly talk shit about theirs.”
I think about this new friend group I’ve found myself in. I have to say, I like it a lot. I stand up, ready to talk to Bowen. “I’m going to go talk to him.” I’m done putting space between us. I’m done hurting him.
“Who?” Mark asks.
“Bo.”
“Uh, yeah, you’re going to have to wait until tomorrow. Bo, Bri, and Noah are passed out in your bed,” he says to Jamie.
Jamie stands up. “It’s your lucky day, Cam. I need a sleeping buddy.”
