“We’re eighteen,” she reminds me. “We don’t need a parent anymore.”
The declaration makes me sad, and as I search her face for the same sense of loss, I don’t see even a trace of it. And it strikes me that Salma and I have always had completely opposing views on growing up. Where she’s been counting down to her independence since childhood, I’ve been avoiding the burden of making my own choices.
But when I met William, something changed.
I was forced to make a choice, and I did the only thing that made sense: I protected my loved ones.
That led me to start speaking up in class. Choices led to more choices, until I was no longer listening to Salma or Ma but to myself.
“I’m sorry,” I say in a low voice that doesn’t sound entirely like me. As if the words are coming from a deeper place than usual. “You are unequivocally right about everything. You’re more than my sister, you’re a part of me, and I should have known better than to lie to you. Especially about something that close to your heart. I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right.”
A comma forms between her eyebrows, and while she still looks upset, at least she’s listening.
“Lore, this isn’t something we’re going to be able to move past just like that.”
My heart stalls as I see the shininess in her eyes. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen her shed a tear our entire lives, and my mouth goes dry with dismay.
“It’s as if…” She trails off, like she’s trying to find the right words. “As if the first night we got here, I met Mr. Darcy and found out he was real. And I didn’t tell you.”
She stares into my eyes, like she’s trying to convey more than words. “You had to know what it would’ve meant to me to meet an actual vampire. And you kept that from me.Why?And don’t tell me that it was for my own safety because you know damn well we could have shared the secret.”
“But it was, Sal.” It feels like the moisture that belongs in my mouth has traveled to my eyes. “I knew he had supernatural hearing and that he had been spying on me. He warned me if I told anyone he would kill you, and I couldn’t risk it.”
“What about the first night?” she asks, and I can tell she’s been thinking about this and analyzing everything I told her, trying to find the weak spots in my story. “You described how he controlled your mind and bit you, then he had a seizure so you escaped. Doesn’t sound like he had time to tell you about his super-hearing and threaten your friends. You could have told me then.”
“I…”
Had just been bitten.
Had nearly died.
Was traumatized.
“… was afraid of how you’d react.” The truth is out before I can settle on an excuse. “I knew if I told you there was a vampire, you’d go running into his arms.”
My voice cracks, and tears start to flow down my cheeks. Then the dams break in her eyes, too, and we’re both leaking salty water.
“How was that your decision to make for me?” she asks, her voice barely more than a breath. “It’s like when you went to our parents about—”
“He was catfishing you—”
“That’s not the point!” Her voice grows into a rare high-pitched shriek, and it silences both of us. “You don’t let me make my own decisions.” Her throat sounds a little rough now. “And maybe I don’t let you make yours, either. That’s not healthy, for either of us.”
I don’t like what she’s saying, and my heart becomes a bass drum. The longer our silence stretches, I go from scared to frustrated. She wants me to regret saving her life, and I don’t. It feels like the same specter haunting my interactions with Ma has reared its head, and I say, “If you’re still thinking about that party, I made my own choices that night—”
“Where is he?” she asks, changing the subject.
“I don’t know.”
She cocks her head like she doesn’t believe me.
“Iswear. He hasn’t reached out, and I asked Minaro about him a moment ago, and she said there’s been no news. Except…” I trail off, not sure if it’s even worth saying.
“Except what?”
“It just seemed like she was fishing for information. She asked me who specifically picked him up from Hanover.”
“She’s the head of the school, and he was her responsibility when he disappeared, so that makes sense.”
