“Aren’t you setting yourself up to suffer more that way?”
“At this point, the suffering will be unbearable no matter what. And speaking of suffering… what’s going on with you and Trevor?”
She shrugs, but the movement is too quick and sharp, almost defensive. “Nothing. You know me, I don’t do relationships.”
“That’s not how it seemed before break, when you were upset he didn’t ask you to the dance.”
“I was confused,” she says. “But I realized I’m not interested. And if he can’t handle the rejection, then he needs to find new friends.”
I know Salma can be unpredictable sometimes, but her 180 with Trevor feels extreme even for her.
“Did he give you the ick?” I ask, since it’s the only thing that might make it make sense.
“Yeah,” she says, but her reaction is once again a little too quick, like she’s latching on to the excuse to end the conversation. “We all know there’s no cure for that.”
I wish I could accept her reasoning and let it go—but when she sayscure,her whole expression darkens, like when passing clouds obscure the sun. And I can’t help feeling like now it’s Salma who’s keeping secrets.
I go with her to our room after lunch to check on Tiffany, while Williamgoes on patrol. We find our roommate at her desk, doing homework. We set the food next to her, and Salma asks, “You okay?”
Tiffany just shrugs. “I’m supposed to turn in my feature on students who applied for early admission to college, but I don’t want to leave the room.” She holds up a USB drive in her hand.
The wordcollegesets off alarms in my mind.
I know Tiffany and Zach already applied to Columbia, their top choice, as well as some backups. Even Trevor told us he applied to Notre Dame, Oregon, Arizona State, and a bunch of other places with good football teams. But ever since meeting William, I haven’t given my future a single thought.
I flash to what Ma said about not just blindly following Salma, but I also can’t imagine us ever being apart.
I turn to my best friend. “What are we going to do about applications?”
Salma shrugs like she doesn’t want to think about that right now. “I’ll take the drive for you,” she offers Tiffany. “Do I give it to Fran?”
“Thanks. Zach needs to edit it first, so give it to him. And if he asks, just say I don’t feel well.”
“Already told him you’re on your period,” says Salma, skipping out the door.
“Seriously?”asks Tiffany in annoyance, but Salma is gone.
When it’s just the two of us, the atmosphere grows heavier. Once it starts to feel like there’s barely enough oxygen to breathe, I ask, “How are you?”
“What the fuck were you thinking, Navarro?” Tiffany fires off, and now I wish I’d kept silent. “How could you lie to us about this?”
“I–I was trying to protect you all,” I say, and I hate how feeble my excuse sounds compared to her righteous indignation.
“What’s wrong with you? He’s avampire!” She stresses the word as if I’ve been mispronouncing it this whole time. “Smoking and drinking at some party would’ve been better than being a monster’s accomplice.”
I can’t think of anything to say to that, and Tiffany shakes her head. “Just stay away from me.”
My vision blurs as I storm out the door and race down the stairs, wiping the moisture from my eyes before the tears can even form. I don’t go to William’s room because Tiffany’s accusations hit too close to the truth. Instead, I walk through the manor and force myself to consider how I could have done right by my roommates with the William situation.
What if I hadn’t kept his secret that first night?
He was weak after he fed from me—maybe if I’d told the others, we would’ve had a window to kill him before he fully awoke. All we would’ve had to do was set him on fire… but none of us knew that then.
Yet I knew it last night, when he was bleeding out, along with Nate and Cisco.
William couldn’t compel me, and he was immobilized, so I could’ve killed all of them and possibly ended the vampires’ threat. Just like William could’ve killed me at any point in the past three months.
But somehow, we’re both still here.
