“If you want to make it up to me, then make more of an effort to get me home. No more excuses.”
His face hardened, lips tightening. “I can’t do that.”
“You mean you won’t,” I growled.
He shook his head. “Lila, it’s still challenging. You might scent as part fae but your smell is like mine. Even if we go with the story you suggested earlier, others will know you were claimed. Like I said before, they will want to keep you here.”
I slapped his arm. Violence was my current go-to when I was angry. Couldn’t he give me a yes? “What if we told them the truth? That I’m a regular human who is claimed, and you don’t want me anymore. Then we can try to send me home. Who knows, maybe the banishing won’t matter, and I won’t need to find that wizard. We can try.”
Yosef looked up at the gray sky, letting out a sigh. I knew he didn’t want me to leave, but he had to understand reason. Or maybe he didn’t. He’d been accommodating to me this whole time, but when it came to me wanting to leave, he was totally resistant. He was probably thinking of something right now to counter my suggestion.
“Sweetness, if you are claimed by a fae, human or not, the court won’t want you to leave. They will consider you almost the same as one who is part fae. Even if I were to abandon you, which I would never do, they would still keep you here in some capacity.”
I huffed. “So, you really sealed the deal, didn’t you?” I looked down at us, still joined. It should have been hot, but I was so pissed. A raging heat spread within me, squeezing my muscles so much I hurt. “How long is this knotting going to last? I want out.”
He tilted his head, amber eyes squinting up at me. “I’m surprised it’s lasting this long myself.”
“I don’t believe you. I don’t believe anything you say anymore.”
He kissed the top of my head. Seriously, why was this dude being so lovey-dovey? Didn’t he know I was full of rage? Did he think that I was this pliable just because he claimed me? A kiss on the head and I’d be putty. Well, he was…kind of right because I was feeling all sorts of calm and peaceful in his grasp. I should have been fighting the air with my fists with anger, but I emotionally was not aflame. Even my pokes at him were tame. My head knew this was all fucked up, but my body was annoyingly unbothered. I had to get out of here before I became too complacent. If I gave in to his claiming, it was over for me. I couldn’t be stuck here at his mercy to do whatever he wanted to me with the hopes he didn’t toss me to the wolves when he grew tired of me, or he died in battle or something else that would leave me alone.
Maybe if I pissed him off, his knot would deflate faster. I needed to storm away and clear my head.
“I had sex with Xander,” I blurted out, not thinking too much about the delivery.
I was met with a shrug and a look of indifference. “I knew that. He is like my brother; do you think he wouldn’t tell me?”
My brain crashed. This man had just sexed me all the way up after knowing his BFF had done the same just a day or two prior? Is this how fae rolled? “And you don’t care? Or is it because I’m claimed now, you think Xander will back off?”
Yosef remained annoyingly calm. “I have no expectations that Xander will be able to tear himself away from you. I wouldn’t claim you thinking that would work. With Xander and Luca, things are different. I would only share a woman with them. And my claiming is, by extension, their claiming of you, if they want it. I know Xander will. Luca would protect you even if he had no romantic attraction to you.”
I rubbed my eyes, overwhelmed. He thought he had me right where he wanted me. “I’m never going to stay here, Yosef. If you don’t want to help me, fine. But you can’t keep me here, and I’m going back into town.”
Yosef entwined his fingers in my hair, giving my scalp a relaxing massage. I fought hard as hell not to shiver underneath those expert fingers. “I will continue to apologize, love, but you aren’t going anywhere. I should have been stronger and not claimed you, but now, I think it was the right thing. You’ll come to see that.”
This asshole. I pressed my lips together and closed my eyes. I was done with him. No more arguing. It was time for me to stop being so passive and save myself. I now knew for certain that no faerie was going to get me home. I was going to have to force my way out of here.
* * *
When I was knot-free, I stayed in my room for the rest of the day and refused to talk to anyone, including Xander. I let Zelda in to drop off dinner but kicked her out when she started to make it seem like what Yosef did was for the best. The rest of the night, I tossed and turned, feeling sick about the situation.
When I got up the next day, after I was sure Yosef had gone to work, I went to the kitchen to do some angry baking. I had turned to baking a few times before, exploring all the local ingredients, to help me pass the time and deal with my frustrations at not returning home. Today, I was going to try my hand at making ice cream, something I’d yet to find here.
Yosef seemed resolute that I would never get approval to go home, but he had said something that stuck with me about the alpha bond. While I couldn’t get new magic as a beta, he said my strength could increase. Maybe I was strong enough to defeat the portal guards and get out of here. Assuming I didn’t need the wizard to overcome the possible banishing part. I was strong but not invincible, and it would be better to have Xander help me, but I also didn’t want him getting in trouble. Not to mention I suspected he was less likely to want me to leave than Yosef.
I took a lemon pound cake out of the oven to serve with the vanilla-like ice cream I made when Xander strolled into the kitchen. He and Zelda had left me to my own devices for most of the day, knowing I was still in a pissy mood. That was mostly because I growled whenever anyone came near me. Yosef had tried that morning, and I cursed him out in English and Spanish, along with giving him freezer burn on his ass.
Xander raised his hands in surrender before I could open my mouth. “I’m only in here because it smells amazing, and I was wondering if you needed a taste tester.”
I glared at him, then dropped my shoulders, feeling more exhausted at hating everyone. Although, I would still reserve my anger toward Yosef. “It’s still cooling, but you can have some ice cream.”
Those silver eyes lit up, and he grinned at me, showing fangs that looked strangely innocent. I turned my back on him and looked for something to do, but I’d done most of the cleaning while the cake was baking. I soon felt the heat of his body behind me, arms balanced on the counter on either side of me. “Don’t try to seduce me. I’m in no mood.”
He nuzzled his nose in the crook of my neck, and the last bit of anger in me melted away at the sensation of his breath catching the tiny hairs on my skin, tickling my skin. He wasn’t the one who needed my wrath right now, and I needed to save my reserves for when Yosef returned.
“Talk to me, darling,” he said gently, as if testing my waters.
This soft Xander was delightfully confusing to me. I liked that he had that violent, slightly crazy side but that he reserved his tenderness for me. It did break down a bit of my wall.
