I nodded. “Do you know how hard it is for a dragon to give up? We’re stubborn. You know this. If we don’t like someone, we get away from them. Or kill them, depending on the mood. But when we love someone, we just want to be around them. And if it’s a deep love, like what we had, it physically hurts to lose them. I hurt. For three years. I never gave up on you. I didn’t know how to. It’s not in my nature. I’m proud of myself for not waiting at your bar last night until your shift ended and instead going home like a sane being. So, talk to me, Lisa.”
She momentarily froze at one of the few nicknames I’d given her but then gave a nonchalant lift of her shoulder, hiding her emotions as she sometimes did. She found it gave her power to remain outwardly neutral. However, I knew her well enough to know when she was deeply affected. “I don’t know that I knew that about dragons. Stubborn, yes, but I thought you could moveon. I saw you with that female and felt that maybe you didn’t love me after all.”
I shut my eyes tight, a pain in my chest. She’d been feeling that way for three years. Thinking I so easily let go. “That is the farthest thing from the truth.”
“Well, I hope you mean that because otherwise you may not like what I’m about to tell you. Today I went to visit local Nodoorian leadership, who not so kindly let me know that if we don’t get married in one week, we are going to be in big trouble.”
I was thankful I hadn’t been drinking because I would have choked. “What?”
She nodded slowly, looking away and avoiding my probably wild eyes. “Yes, not ideal.”
“That’s not what I meant.” This was perfect.
She scowled, and I couldn’t quite understand that reaction. Was she mad at what I said or the situation? Maybe both. “Look, I know that we have things to discuss and getting married is the last thing we should be doing.”
I held up a hand. “I never said that. In fact, I refuse to acknowledge any breakup. It was a simple separation.”
She gave a dry laugh, but her face was still fixed in a frown. “You are delusional.”
“It comes with being a stubborn dragon.”
“We broke up. There shouldn’t be any confusion. It’s been three years.”
I tilted my head, still gazing at her. It was almost cruel how much of a hold on me that her eyes had, even when angry. “Three years is nothing. There are married couples separated for longer. Just because you leave doesn’t mean you’re not mine.”
She pressed her cheeks in with her hands, bright eyes wide. “No, that’s exactly what it means. Did something happen to you, up here, when I left?” She pointed to her head. “It can’t all be your dragon nature.”
I picked up my drink again. “You underestimate how tightly we hold on. However, I think we both know that I’ve always been a tinge off all my life. But, as I recall, you loved my quirks.”
“Yes, when it didn’t involve you thinking that we were still together these past several years. Especially after what happened.” I opened my mouth to interject, but she continued. “My suggestion is that we go through with the marriage, but then naturally break it off after an acceptable amount of time. Perhaps a few years at best. By then, maybe they’ll be done with these forced marriages. They can’t do this forever without a revolt. And we don’t have to really be a couple, of course. It’ll all be for show. We can sleep separately. I only have a one bedroom, but maybe we can lease something with two bedrooms, if it’s the same with you. You can even see whoever you want, as long as you keep it discreet. We can do things together a couple times a month to maintain appearances. Most importantly, I don’t expect you to do this for free, even though it wouldn’t look good for you to back out now either. I can give you some payment for it. I have access to funds I hid before leaving Nodoor.”
I was not surprised that she would have a plan. She was always methodical. Except for this situation, which only served to show how desperate she had been to avoid marrying that fae. It made me even angrier that she was even put in that situation. I was also annoyed that she was even offering to pay me. Her dismissiveness at my reaction to our separation was borderline hurtful. How could we get to a marriage when we had so much unfinished business with what happened all those years ago. We simply weren’t aligned, and I couldn’t ignore that. “Well, I see you have it all planned out.”
She finally looked back at me, her face remorseful. “Look, I’m sorry I got you into all of this. I think this is the best outcome for this mess I made. Will you take the deal or not? And this is not us rekindling anything. This is strictly an arrangement, so whateverdelusions you are living with are going to have to work itself out before we get married. Otherwise, I can always run off to another kingdom and start over again.”
I crossed my arms and considered her. The idea of being with her again, even in a false capacity, made my stomach tighten with excitement. I had no problem with telling a tiny lie if just to be in her presence again. She didn’t have to know that I would attempt at every opportunity to show her that we were meant to be together. At the very least, this could be fun. At the very most, I could have my heart ripped out again. I would be the only one getting hurt, and I accepted that risk. It came with my tinge of crazy. I also had confidence that I would regain her heart. I would not be a dragon who lost his treasure. At least not again.
Still, before I gave her an answer, I was owed one of my own. “Before I answer, I have to know something. What happened that night?”
She frowned. “What night?”
I rolled my eyes, annoyed with her false confusion. “You know exactly what I’m talking about. The night you fucking broke – insisted on a separation.” I said that harder than I meant to. I knew the reality. That we’d broken up. But if I was going to win her back then living in denial made it easier. Fake it until you make it. I didn’t want to appear weak. But the truth was, even after all these years, I was still haunted by that night.
She lowered her head and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I guess it doesn’t matter now. My parents hated you. Well, hate you. I’m sure the feeling hasn’t changed. You knew this. But what you didn’t know was what lengths they would go through to break us apart. It was more than removing my inheritance. They planned to kill you. And there was nothing I could do to change their minds. I couldn’t report them; I had no proof. Not that I wanted to put my family in prison.”
I frowned, staring down at my hands in disbelief. I knew they wanted me gone from Jalisa but not that they were so desperate they’d have me killed. The thought made my stomach sour. I wasn’t a bad guy. I wasn’t rich, but I was respected in a good level position in the military. I treated Jalisa well, and we were comfortable and happy together. It could have been worse. I didn’t deserve death.
She looked up at me with sorrowful eyes, and I was thankful to at least see she was sad about the whole thing. “Ivan, I broke it off because I was trying to protect you. I couldn’t stop them from killing you, and the resources my family had would have prevented you from doing anything.”
“I was military.”
She shook her head. “And they are high nobles with powerful friends, and you know how corrupt Nodoor was before the war ended. They could have grabbed you and dumped you somewhere never to be heard of again.”
I sighed, knowing she was right. I’d seen corrupt leaders make such things happen. I was military, but I wasn’t all powerful. I was just a pawn to be used, especially as a dragon. “Why didn’t you tell me the truth? Why lie?”
She gave me a tired smile, and I could see this hadn’t been an easy decision for her. That made me feel a little less shitty. “Ivan, if I told you the truth, you wouldn’t have gone away. You would have stayed and gotten killed.”
“We could have run off together.”
