I paused the massage. “So, you ran back to me.”
She moved her arm back to her side, leaning back as if to get away from me. “And found you in bed with her. The people I loved the most had turned their backs on me. Or so I thought.And I knew I was in danger, having run off like that from my family.”
I grabbed her hand, and I could feel her slightly try to pull away, but I wouldn’t let her go. Not again. I wanted more, but I would take my time. For now. “I ran after you. I fucking chipped a tooth when I fell going after you because I was so drunk. When I first saw you come back, I thought I was hallucinating it. Then it dawned on me you were really there, and I got up. But you are fast, and by the time I made it to the road, you were gone. Shit, I’m so sorry, love.”
This time, she successfully moved her hand away and stood up, turning her back on me, but I still caught that look of uncertainty on her face. I could work with that. The door was open a crack for me.
She continued. “So, I kept running, all the way to Prinath. I was able to get refugee status. I had to go through magic testing because they didn’t trust me at first. They wanted me to share secrets, but I never had that kind of knowledge. Not that I wouldn’t have shared if I did. I was so bitter, I had no loyalty to Nodoor anymore. It took a year before I could freely move about Prinath without someone by my side. Since then, I’ve been a citizen.”
I was a mix of emotion. Frustrated because of the misunderstanding tearing us apart all these years. Guilt for getting drunk and having someone take me home, who I knew had ulterior motives. Angry at her family and that asshole alpha for putting her in that situation.
“Are you still angry with me?” I asked in a quiet voice.
She turned sideways to glance at me. “I don’t know. I’ve been upset for so long it seems weird to feel differently. But it’s also silly to stay mad. It was my family that caused this, and I should have told you the truth. Although, are you sure you didn’t encourage that fae in some way?”
I stood up, moving closer to her. “So where does that leave us now?”
She shrugged, turning fully to me. “I don’t know. Neither of our families wanted us together. Things wouldn’t go back to normal just because time passed.”
I reached out to her and traced the back of her arm with my finger. She shivered, despite her best effort to remain unaffected by me. “Well, we’re both here and they aren’t. As long as they don’t know we’re together, things might be better.”
She considered me for a moment, something like hope in her eyes, but then she let out a breath. “I don’t know, Ivan. Things are different now. I’m different.”
“How?”
She looked away again, and I knew that she was not telling me something. What had happened to her here? “Our situation isn’t the same anymore, Ivan. I have to process everything we talked about and some other stuff.”
I rubbed her arm, watching her relax into me despite her words. I took pleasure in the fact that she seemed to enjoy my touch. Had anyone else affected her this way? I only wanted it to be me. “I won’t let you down again.”
“Although I’m still not sure I believe you’re as innocent about that night as you say, it’s not that.”
“Fine, let’s move in small steps. Starting with me agreeing to marry you.” And trying to win her back, but I would leave that part out.
She chuckled. “You and I have different definitions of small steps. But thank you. This means a lot that you’re helping me.”
Of course I would help her. Time had passed, but my heart hadn’t changed. And I would do everything I could to show her that.
Chapter Five
Jalisa
Ilooked at myself in the vanity mirror of the dressing room, feeling queasy. It was the day of my fake wedding, and I couldn’t get my mind off possible feelings for my fake groom. It had all been a misunderstanding. Of course, that would be the case. We were in love. He’d been a flirt before we started dating, but afterwards, it was as if his eyes were only for me. I’d even heard others talking about it. How he’d changed since meeting me. Which was why I was so confused when I saw him with that female. I’d seen her before, a fellow soldier who was often around him. I still remembered seeing her smug face as she straddled him on the bed.
I’d played that scene over and over in my head, barely remembering his face at that time. The few times I did, I beganto fill myself with regret. He’d looked so hopeful, not even noticing the wench on top of him. But I hadn’t waited for his reaction. I vaguely heard him call after me, but I was so hurt by the attack at my parents’ house that I wasn’t in a good place to listen to him. My neck was still stinging from the partial bite, and I was scared. I didn’t know where to go. I feared going back home. Would that alpha still be there? Was he looking for me? Would my parents try again or lock me away? It seemed they no longer had any boundaries.
I knew the law wasn’t on my side in Nodoor. Society seemed to understand the importance omegas were to the family and would probably see what my parents did as justified. I understood how dragons were disrespected, even alpha ones. There was no safe place for me nor safety for him if we stayed together.
This is what I had to remember. I couldn’t fall for him again. I couldn’t get lost in those emerald eyes or his attentiveness and humor. I couldn’t be certain that our families would never find us, especially with a wedding drawing the attention of the royal court. Not to mention the other dissenters who had made it very known to me that they, like Jullian, did not appreciate me backing out of my marriage to Jacob. I’d gotten threatening calls and tense visits. I would not be swayed. I was done being used as a pawn and was only angry at myself for falling into this situation in the first place because of how angry I’d been with my family and kingdom. I only felt bad for dragging Ivan into this, especially after realizing what actually happened that night. Although I did wonder if his flirtatious nature had caused that fae to believe she had a chance with him. Of course, I realized there were those who weren’t swayed to stay away simply because he was in a relationship.
I wanted to believe him, but then I would fall for him all over again, and it was much easier, safer, to keep my heart out ofthis. The fact that he was helping me was a blessing. I needed to make sure he was safe for just that alone. I’d already told the dissenters that hurting him or threatening him would not change anything, and if I had to leave again, I would. I should probably do that now.
I looked at the closed door to the room, wondering if I could sneak out without being seen, when I heard a knock. I sucked in a breath and sat upright, dismayed I hadn’t snuck out earlier. “Come in.”
Pilar Hiddenwell appeared behind the now open door, hand on a slender hip as she looked around the space. My closest friend here was dressed impeccably, utilizing her glamour to the utmost. Her short purple hair was slicked back with a rainbow of sparkles. Her almond-shaped pink eyes were framed in black make-up, contrasted against small, light pink lips against her rounded golden face. She was dressed in a dark purple glittery gown, with a cinched waist and off the shoulder neckline.
I frowned. “Why are you so dressed up?”
She rolled her eyes and closed the door behind her. “Because this is still a party. I have to play the part. And you look gorgeous. Who knew this is what it took to see you in a dress?”
