“Fake back together.”
I rolled my eyes. “They don’t know that, remember.”
She twisted her lips and nodded.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say it didn’t get under my nerves that she kept reminding me that this marriage was fake. We both knew our rejoining was inevitable. “As I was saying, since we got back together, they now are keeping true to their promise to kill me. Despite what they told you earlier. After what they tried to do to you with the claiming, why would they do things the honest way?” Before she could argue, I raised a hand. “And I wouldn’tput it past my family to also try to harm you. I knew they didn’t like you after the break-up.”
“Or before,” Jalisa muttered, crossing her arms.
“Fair enough. I never thought murder was on the table for my family. No offense, at least your family threatened it, mine never did. But maybe the thought of us getting back together made them act rashly, especially after I got hurt.”
Jalisa cleared her throat and looked down at her food, not appearing remotely interested in it. I wasn’t surprised. There were other more pressing matters currently happening. “Gentle reminder that my family stated that they were acting based on threats they’d heard about your family wanting to kill me. So, let’s stop pretending your family is more noble than mine.”
“An allegation that my family denied.”
She brushed her curls from her face and moved to sit down at the wooden dining table across from the island. She was moving slowly, leaning heavily on the furniture as she sat and it was clear that something wasn’t right. “Of course they would. But it’s beside the point. We’re both accepting the possibility that our families want us dead. However, I have something important to share.”
It was about time. I couldn’t figure out why she was taking so long to admit it in the first place. I knew we weren’t really together, but there was no shyness between us. “What’s wrong?”
She blew out a breath and looked up at me. “I’m going to tell you something, and you’ll probably be very disappointed with me.”
Ok, maybe I wasn’t sure what she was going to say. “Doubt that, Sunshine.”
She pressed at her damp forehead, and I fought the urge to sweep her up in my arms. She was suffering right in front of me, but I knew better than to baby her in that moment. I had to wait a little longer, but I hated it. “Well, here goes,” she began.“When I found out about the treaty, I got really upset because I wanted nothing to do with Nodoor after what happened to me and how they treated omegas. The last thing I wanted was our kingdoms to combine and have that mindset permeate into this environment. A place I was starting to love. So, I joined a group of dissenters in protest. We’re nothing like that group that was killing the treaty marriage couples. They were a violent faction that we didn’t know about. At least I didn’t. We wanted to expand power and influence in upper ranks. There were other things, I’m sure, but my orders were very specific. I was to marry Jacob, who was part of the dissenter group and a noble. We’d get close to the top and…”
She paused and looked away, a hesitant look on her face. I scratched my head, confused. Was that it? I had to admit, I was a little underwhelmed. “When’s the secret part happening?”
She cut her eyes at me, suspicious. “What do you mean?”
I lifted a shoulder. Clearly, she hadn’t taken me seriously when I told her I’d been looking for her all this time. “I came here for you, Jalisa. I told you that. I’ve been searching for you. The only reason I knew you were here was because someone told me they saw you in passing but didn’t know where you lived or worked. But they saw you with people they knew were dissenters. That’s all I had to go on. I wasn’t mad or disappointed. I know you too well. I assumed something was really wrong if you were with them. I have to say, this isn’t the type of thing I expected from you.” Yes, she was smart, analytical, and fearless. She wouldn’t give in for something she didn’t like unless she was backed into a corner. But Jalisa was not one to be controlled. Being used as a pawn went against everything she stood for. Why would she give in to such a dangerous plan? Didn’t she value herself more? “Why?”
She looked back at me, face crumbled in remorse, and I took a minor comfort that she had the decency to look ashamed. Thenagain, I had never seen that look on her before, and it twisted me inside. I didn’t want this for her. “I’m not judging you, baby. I’ve been looking for you for three years. We do crazy things in high emotional states. Plus, I’ve done things against my leadership before as well. But back to why you would agree to marry a piece of shit in the name of breaking the treaty.”
“Ivan, I stay awake at night and try to understand as well. When I moved here and they accepted me, all I felt was relief. Sure, being an omega always comes with attention, but not like it did in Nodoor. We have more freedom here. And I’m not looked at as a noble, so I have even more freedom. I made a real friend, I did what I wanted with no expectations, and I was hidden from my family and the fake friends I used to surround myself with.”
I shook my head. I understood her, but there was so much more at risk for us if war kept going. “So, you wanted our kingdoms to keep fighting?”
She raised her brows in alarm. “Of course not. I didn’t think that the only way for peace was to blend both our kingdoms. And when it started to blend, I could already see some of the horrible practices from Nodoor seeping in here. Some of which some Prinathrians wanted. It was like my home was being invaded. I could run again or stand my ground and fight. I didn’t want to keep running. Why didn’t you tell me you knew I was part of this group earlier?”
I rubbed the back of my neck, not liking my part in our secrecy toward each other. “It felt moot. Once you backed out of the marriage and I saw you were distancing yourself from them, I didn’t think it would help to let you know. I wanted us to move forward. Why’d you change your mind about the marriage? Besides that, Jacob being a complete asshole.”
She rubbed her stomach and closed her eyes, features scrunched together in discomfort. I couldn’t watch her suffer anymore. She didn’t need to answer my question now, nothingshe could say would change my mind. “Love, at what point will you tell me you’ve started your heat? I’m watching you fight against it, but I have my limits. Your strength is admirable but unnecessary. We can talk more about what happened later. It will change nothing for me. Now give me your fucking heat.”
I growled that last part more than I should have. Almost a chord away of using my alpha voice to compel her. Nevertheless, Jalisa sat upright, her mouth dropping open. “I was hoping you would ignore it.”
I grimaced. “Because you think I’m an asshole? I thought we had made amends?”
She nodded, still clutching her stomach. “We did. I don’t want to keep using you. This marriage, my physical aches, the danger you’re in. You have gotten nothing good out of this. You won’t even accept payment.”
I waved a dismissive hand at her. “The offer of money is insulting. And of course I’ve gotten something good out of this. I’ve gotten you.”
She opened her mouth to reply, but I stopped her. “And helping you with your heat is hardly a chore, love. One day, I hope you truly come to understand just how special you are to me. You think I’d search for three years for someone because I was bored? I’ve been with others before, none of them affected me like you do. My dragon has claimed you. No one and nothing else matters.”
She pressed her lips closed and looked away. “I’ve never loved anyone like you, Ivan,” she said in a resigned voice, looking down at her hands tightly clasped together. “Knowing the truth about that night and all that I’ve put you through makes me feel like shit because you deserve better. You deserve the world.”
“Hey, look at me,” I replied, careful not to use the alpha force in my tone. She complied, and there were tears in her eyes. My heart cracked but also filled with how much she clearly caredabout me. “Don’t own this by yourself. I didn’t make it easy for you. I dismissed the problems with our families as not being as serious as they are because I didn’t know how to fix it. And I was so focused on how bad dragons were treated that I didn’t do anything to help the omega cause. You thought you were alone. And in some respects, you were. But you aren’t alone now.”
She wiped at her face. “I can’t believe you made me cry.”
