“We were always opposites,” I agree. Yin and yang. That’s what Mom calls us.
“Well, from here on out, it’ll be one hundred percent honesty. I promise.” She reaches for my hand and squeezes. For a flash, I see Adult Kassie in yoga-wear. While I appreciate the gesture, I think we both know something has changed. Something irreversible. It’s like the tiniest hairline fracture that will inevitably deepen with time.
Maybe Mom was right. Maybe not all friends are meant to be in your life for the long haul. Not being friends anymore doesn’t have to involve a catastrophic fight. No one means to hurt the other person. People just move on with life. Sad as it is, it also brings me a sense of peace.
“Well, for the sake of honesty, I need to tell you something too.” I contemplate telling her everything. But I settle for the heart of it. “I have feelings for Renner.”
Her eyes bulge. “No. Way. What? Since you guys kissed at the sleepover?”
That doesn’t seem right either. I can’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened. Was it that first smile he gave me on the bleachers the first day of school? The hours of bickering? That kiss on the rooftop? It doesn’t really matter. Somehow, Renner took hold of my heart and made it whole. Fuller. Happier. “For ... a long time. I think.”
And while Kassie doesn’t know everything, she can interpret the look in my eyes. Somehow, she just knows what I need, because she’s still my best friend, for now at least. “Go find him,” she says with a nudge.
With her approval, I march back into the gym, head held high—only, the mood has slowed. And that’s when I hear it. That familiar tune.
TheDirty Dancingsong.
FORTY
The lighting is low, and glittering dots of yellow swirl around the dance floor.
It’s like wading through a starry galaxy as I pass through the crowd, the rhythm of the music thrumming in my ears. You know it’s the end of the night when the girls’ hair is plastered to their foreheads with sweat, and guys’ dress shirts are wrinkled and partially unbuttoned. It’s nearing eleven o’clock, but everyone is holding strong on the dance floor. These are the last precious moments of high school.
As I round the refreshment table, I spot a tall figure chatting with the DJ. I know it’s Renner. No one else has that self-assured stance. He beams when he spots me, handsome face backlit by the blue lights near the stage. Human sunshine.
When our eyes meet, the crowd seems to part, opening a direct path to him. There’s a knowing look in his eyes. A look of realization, fear, adoration, all wrapped into one. Without even saying a word, I know he’s experienced it too. I know it deep in my soul.
It’s only when my feet start to ache that I realize we’re walking toward the middle of the star-filled dance floor.
We stop and he holds his hand out. “Dance with me?”
“I’m scared you might drop me,” I say.
A smile dances across his lips. “Touché. No fancy lifts this time. I promise.”
I pretend to look around. “But what about your date?”
He smiles ruefully. “She’s over there ... making out with Cliff.”
I crane my neck. Andie and Cliff Johnson are making out against the bleachers. “Oh? I didn’t know they were a thing.” In fact, I’m fairly certain Cliff had a date from another school at the beginning of the night.
He shrugs. “Guess they are now.”
My eyes flare. “But I thought ...”
“Andie and I went to prom as friends.”
“It didn’t look like you were just friends. Andie likes you.”
“She does.” Renner’s Adam’s apple dips. “And I told her I wanted to stay friends.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. I told her I had feelings for someone else. And have for a long time. I told Andie I wasn’t sure if this girl felt the same way, but I had to see. That I’d regret it if I didn’t.” He makes a come-hither motion with his hand. “Now come here before our song ends.”
My stomach loosens and I finally feel like I can breathe. “You requested it?”
He dips his chin and nods.
