“I am so damn excited for everyone to discover June Bailey.” I cupped her face. My determination to tell her I wasn’t going was dwindling. I needed to leave, but my boots were stuck in place. She was hurting and it was my fault. “But my place is at the ranch.”
“I don’t want you to think I’m not worried about your dad. I am.” She shook her face out of my grip and started pacing. She swiped her hands under her eyes. “I’m supposed to start work in a week. The lease needs to be signed in three days.”
“I’ll send money for the rent.”
She barked out a laugh. “You’re going to pay for a place you’re not living in?”
“I’ll be a ranch manager.”
She quit pacing, her sandals skidding in the dirt. “We’ve been together since eighth grade. This will be our first time apart.” Her lips quivered. “I’m scared.”
Tell her it’s over. Tell the only girl you’ve ever loved that you’re done. She’s going to Tennessee single. Because you’re letting your songbird go.
Instead, all I said was, “I know.”
The girl had been my everything since I was the new kid in middle school. She’d been my first friend and myfirst and only girlfriend. Panic filled my chest. This couldn’t be the end.
No. It had to be. Dad needed me, and June would do better without me. “I love you, June, but I gotta do this.” My voice was strangled at the end.
She sniffled and her eyes welled with more tears. She sucked in a long breath and lifted her chin. “What about tonight? We were supposed to finally have a night together. The first of many.”
I wanted that more than fucking anything. To go to sleep with June. To wake up to her. We were adults now. We could be together. Her brothers and sisters thought we were moving in together. Until tomorrow, when June would tell them she had to leave without me.
I’d let her go. She’d tell them I broke her heart. I’d endure the looks and whatever retaliation her brothers thought fit. I’d do it all while nursing my own shattered heart.
“We’re going to be across the country from each other.” I steeled myself for the task. “I won’t be able to visit. It’s better for us to see this for what it is. It’s the end, June. I’m sorry.”
More tears rolled down her cheeks. “Long distance doesn’t have to mean the end.”
“It’s best for us each to take our own path?—”
“I know you won’t be able to travel, but I can still come home.” Her voice wavered and she sniffled, but determination grew in the amber depths of her eyes. “I’ll still be doing work for the distillery.”
“June—”
“I’ll work and save some money, but I’ll still come home. It won’t be a stressor for you, trying to figure out time away from the ranch and your dad’s treatments.When your dad is better, then you can move out. I’ll be there. College will still be there.”
“We don’t know the timeline on any of this.” I didn’t know if Dad would even make it through treatment.
She took both my hands in hers. “We can talk every day and see each other over the phone. There are lots of ways two people in love can stay connected.”
I loved her with everything I had, and that was why I had to let her go. I couldn’t be the reason she suffered. She didn’t want to give up on us because she had no idea how much better for her goals that would be. But I did.
“It’ll be fine,” she continued, her face filling with color again. “I can commute a little more often than planned. Daddy wanted me to do a few voice-overs for some radio promos anyway. Since you won’t be in Tennessee, I’ll use my time off to keep writing songs. ”
My temples throbbed. She wasn’t listening. I could barely fathom life without her, but I’d had more time to prepare myself. “June?—”
“I can probably even sell some songs. I mean, I think they’re pretty good?—”
“June.”
She stopped, snapping her mouth closed. Hope lit her eyes, then wavered, hanging on to what I would say next. I could tell her we were over again. I could leave to punctuate it. But my stubborn little songbird would follow me. She’d stay with me, and she’d ruin her chances. For me.
My stomach lurched. “What about if you go, and then I’ll join you? Just like you said.”
“Really?” The light in her eyes brightened. “I know you can’t promise me when, but I really think it’s theright choice. You’ll get to be in Bourbon Canyon with your dad, and I’ll get a record deal.”
“I want you to get everything.” I gripped her shoulders and ducked my head to look her straight in the eyes. “I’ll come down, okay? Just, not now.” Bile rose in my throat. I’d never lied to June. Until now. “I need you to go ahead without me. When Dad is better or after he—” My voice caught. “If the worst happens, then I’ll join you.”
