Twice. She was counting when I had returned for the funeral.
My throat was growing thick. I had come to help pack and load boxes. Instead, she was taking a red pen and circling my insecurities, highlighting them just in case I missed one. “I don’t collect homes.”
“What about that flat in London?”
I licked my dry lips. “I was only looking.” A whole lot of people didn’t have one home, but I was looking at a flat for the month I’d be playing in Europe. “What if I want to give it all up?”
“Do you?”
The answer almost burst out of me, but I caught it and mulled her question over. “No. I love performing. I want this.” I hugged my knees to myself. “At the same time, it’s... lonely. I’m tired of the hustle. What if I hit my peak just as my muscles give out?”
“You aren’t thinking of quitting for a guy, are you?”
I slid my gaze away. “No.”
Autumn got down on the floor with me. “June, you never got over Rhys— Don’t give me that look. It was obvious.”
It was not. “How?”
“The obvious have names—Clinton, Toby, Finn. You went with guys who were easy on the eyes, convenient, the ones that didn’t exude settle-down energy.”
I worried my lower lip. I could try to argue that Lucy had used the idea of Finn being ready for commitment to snag me, but Autumn had said settle-down energy. Finn did not have that.
“And Rhys got married.” She softened her tone. “He had kids. You and I both can guess how much his dad’s ranch sold for and what his cut was. He can go anywhere, but he’s not. He bought a place and made a home. Again, in Bourbon Canyon.”
I hugged my legs tighter with each point she made. “When I was home for his dad’s funeral, he said we were high school stuff.”
She shrugged. “You two are attracted to each other, but now you’re questioning what you’ve worked fifteen years for. You’ve done most of it while not waiting for him. So why now?”
“I want it all.” I was at a crossroads. In one direction, I had to sacrifice everything I’d worked for to have the man of my dreams. In the other direction, I’d have to leave my heart behind and forever write songs about missing him.
Autumn cocked her head to study me. “Can you imagine an entire stadium of thirty thousand people cheering?”
A grin tugged at my lips. “I’ve heard. Just not for me.”
“You’re so close. If you decide not to walk this path, we’ll all support you. But I think you know what you’re going to do and you just wish it was different this time.”
Nailed it. On the stage, I could inspire others. I could help themfeel. If I stayed behind, if Rhys and I did try to work on us, what example would I set? For myself. For my future kids. For my young and impressionable fans.
I puffed a lock of hair out of my face. “When did you get so wise?”
“Maybe after you butted into my pity party and made me tell you all about Gideon.”
“It’s the middle kid inside of us.”
She giggled. “The Baileys have a lot of middle kids.” A moment of silence passed between us. “Whatever you decide, make sure it’s for you.”
That was the problem. The right decision for me shouldn’t hurt so bad.
Rhys
Bethany ran out to greet me as soon as I pulled up in front of Wren’s house. “Daddy! Did you see Mom’s here?”
I swooped her up in a hug. “I sure did.” Kirstin had left before I’d gotten home after my coffee-and-sex break with June. I hadn’t planned to stop at Wren’s tonight, but Kirstin’s presence changed things and possibly confused the kids.
Hannah streaked out the door next. Bethany wiggled out of my hold so I could hug Hannah.
“She brought me a stuffed macaw,” Hannah said. “I named it Mac.”
