“My exes are pretty,” I agreed. They were good-looking on and off camera. Flawless. None of them had a scar from cleft lip surgery. The ones with beards didn’t let it get a little frizzy each week. None of them had worn flannel.
Summer had her legs stretched out, her hands resting on the rounded portion of her belly, and her head was on the back of her rocking camp chair. “Are you really going to let him let you go again?”
“I don’t want to,” I finally admittedout loud and to real people. “But he’s determined that we’re living two different lives and never shall they intertwine.”
Autumn snorted and pushed herself back and forth on her portable hammock chair. “I think there’s been some intertwining going on.”
“Every day for the past two weeks.” Instead of being boastful, my response was melancholy. It’d been three days without him. I couldn’t bring myself to meet Autumn at the bar tonight. The memory of last Wednesday was too fresh. My determination to figure out how to keep Rhys, with all those stars as my witness, was fading. “I think it’s doable, but he has this thing about letting me go. He’s gotta be a martyr for me. For Wren. For his ex-wife. For me again.”
“Seems to be a pattern,” Scarlett murmured from her camp chair. She had on big sunglasses and her hair was bundled on top of her head.
My sisters all nodded. Yes, the pattern was there. Rhys was more comfortable letting go than trying to hang on.
“But why?” Why wasn’t I enough to fight for? “He won’t even try.”
“Tate wouldn’t have pursued me,” Scarlett said. “I know you guys pitched in to bid on him for the fundraiser, but beyond that day that I had with him, if Chance hadn’t wanted him to be with me, Tate would’ve backed off.”
My nephew had been one of Scarlett’s students. She’d mentioned that she had worried about Chance accepting her since she’d been a firm teacher with him when he’d been going through a hard time. But the way my brother loved her was all-consuming. “I don’t think Tate would’ve stayed away for long.”
She lifted a shoulder and adjusted her sunglasses. “Maybe. We’ll never know, but I guess I’m saying that Rhys has a deep-seated reason too.”
Wynter crossed one leg over the other. “Myles kept leaving me. To be fair, he left situations, but somehow I was involved in them. He was afraid his mom would corrupt or hurt someone because of him.” She ticked a finger in the air. “The first was when he turned eighteen and left Montana entirely.” Another finger. “Then when we were getting close”—a third finger—“and finally when he got in touch with the rest of his family.”
Summer sat up in her chair. “Jonah pushed me away because he didn’t think he could be a good husband and especially not a good father. He was scared.” She smiled and stroked the swell of her stomach. “He’s going to be a better dad because of it.”
We all looked at Autumn. She took a sip from her lemonade. “I guess it’s no secret that Gideon and I were supposed to be divorced months ago. He was an all-or-nothing guy until he ended up with nothing. But he had to lose it all to realize what he really wanted in life.”
“Same with Jonah,” Summer said. “He got a taste of the life he wanted, and when it was gone, he had to decide if he wanted to work for it or retreat into that cabin and become the old Jonah again.”
Except for Tate, my sisters’ spouses had lost it all before realizing what they really wanted. “Rhys has already lost it all. When I leave, he’s going to gut through it. He might miss me, he might still love me, but he’s going to stay right where he’s at.”
“Do you think he loves you?” Summer asked gently.
I ran a finger through the condensation on my glass. “I don’t know. I’m sure there’s some part of him that will always love me.”
Wynter put a cool hand on my forearm. “But you’re in love with him.”
A burn roared behind my eyes. “I don’t think I’ve ever not been in love with him.”
“Then you need to talk to him, Junie,” Autumn said.
I let out a sardonic laugh. “Don’t you think I’ve tried? He’s stubborn and determined and he really believes it’s the right thing for me. It’s all about me with him. All about me. All about his dad. All about the girls. All about Kirstin. All about Wren.”
The breeze ruffled my hair and I stuffed the strands behind my ear. How could he be so generous, so loving, and then hurt me this way because of it?
“Do you have any idea why?” Scarlett asked. “I mean, it’s admirable that he puts everyone first, but there has to be a reason why.”
Before he’d let me go, he’d committed himself to the ranch. No—to his dad. “He always said that he owed his dad everything. He doesn’t talk much about his mom.”
“That’s weird.” Summer set her glass on the end table. “Didn’t he move here when he was twelve or something?” At my nod, her face scrunched up. “So over a third of his life was spent with this woman and he doesn’t talk about it?”
“She was an aspiring actress, theater mostly, but some screen.” My information didn’t shed light on anything. “That’s honestly about all I know.”
We all fell quiet for several moments. Any weight that was lifted thanks to talking to my sisters was replaced by hopelessness. All of my sisters had gotten through to their partners. My brothers-in-law had letthem all in, had shared with them what was really important, and they’d all changed their lives to suit my sisters. All in the name of love, trust, and respect.
If Rhys hadn’t opened up to me by now, I wasn’t sure he would ever do it. And if he didn’t talk to me, if he could let me leave for a second time, then maybe I had to accept that I wasn’t the one for him.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
