ROB:Wow, that’s harsh, guys.
TESSA:What do you think he’s going to put on your list,@Lana?
LANA:I can’t even think about it.
JAMES:I hope he makes you make out with a stranger.
COREY:Or go on a blind date.
TESSA:Or volunteer.
COREY:Yawn.
I’m still pushing for that one-night stand!
LANA:Don’t even put that into the universe.
@Sethjoined #LanavsSeth
SETH:Hey, guys. I see we’re brainstorming list suggestions.
ROB:Welcome.
COREY:Traitor.
@Seth,don’t even think about scrolling up.
JAMES:Dude. Now he’s obviously going to scroll up.
SETH:Sorry, guys, all’s fair in workplace competitions and sticking it to your ex.
LANA:Fuck me. I’m outta here.
COREY:Well, now that we have you here,@Seth, maybe you could tell us a little about yourself? Hobbies? Interests? How you came to be a fuckboy and why you moved to LA?
ROB:Jeez,@Corey.
COREY:What? Inquiring minds.
And it’s always good to know your enemy.
SETH:That lovely misnomer aside, my hobbies are reading and writing. My interests are politics and people. I never would’ve described myself as a “fuckboy,” I just never had time to date seriously.
COREY:Why’d you move to LA?
SETH:Oh. The weather, obviously.
COREY:Uh-huh.
5
If you know ahead of time you’ll be seeing an ex, it’s simple: look hot AF.
—Lana Parker, “So Your Ex Is Still in Your Life”
Corey fluffs my hair for the millionth time, smoothing down my ever-present flyaways before stepping back to give me one final looking-over. “This whole thing is a disaster waiting to happen, but I’m kind of living for it.”
“Your support is overwhelming.” I tug on the hem of my short black skirt, hoping for a few more inches of coverage.
