It isn’t until Seth nudges me with his elbow that I realize I’m meant to speak now. “Hi, everyone!” My voice comes out too high and too chipper, but I barrel on. “As Seth said, I’m Lana Parker, but you probably know me better as your resident dating and relationships expert.”
Seth chuckles.
I shoot him a dirty look but keep on with my upbeat banter. “I’ve been writing the love advice column here atATFfor eight years, and while I love writing about being with your perfect partner, for the next ten weeks, I’m going to be trying something a little different. Seth, why don’t you tell the viewers about our friendly competition?”
“I’d love to, Parker,” he says, as smooth as a game show host. “But first, I think they need to know a little bit about our history, don’t you?”
My mouth falls open for longer than a second before I remember we’re live. I clamp my lips shut, speaking to him out of the side of my mouth. “What are you doing? That is not in the outline!”
Seth ignores my death glare, his gorgeous smile sparkling “Come on, Parker, it’s important for our viewers to know about the past before they can fully appreciate the present.”
I catch Corey’s eye, flashing her anOh shit please help melook, but she shakes her head, lips pursed tight; a shiver of fear darts through me, not just at the thought of our historybeing spilled live on the internet, but at the thought of having to relive it myself. I turn to Seth, a pleading look in my eye. “Seth, I’m sure the viewers don’t really care about our very-much-in-the-past past.”
He hesitates for only a second before turning his attention back to the camera, his cheesy, too-wide smile permanently in place. “Parker and I were high school sweethearts, folks. Isn’t that just the cutest? We dated all four years and were even voted Most Likely to Grow Old Together.”
“And that’s the end of that!” My voice sounds frantic and shrill, and I don’t even care because I just need this to be over. I continue on before Seth can reveal any other personal tidbits to a live audience of probably thousands. “So as I said, Seth and I are going to be engaging in a little bit of afriendlycompetition like professional adults, if Seth is even capable of that. One thing he definitely is capable of is jumping from one woman to the next, but for this competition, he’ll have to quell his manwhore urges and prove he’s ready for a serious, long-term relationship.”
There’s an awkward amount of silence and I chance a quick glance over at Seth, surprised to see something like hurt lingering in his eyes. But it disappears as quickly as it came, leaving only a fake smile and too-bright eyes.
“You’re probably wondering about Lana’s part of the challenge, and I’m thrilled to tell you your intrepid relationship guide is going to have to put her serial monogamy aside and enjoy the single life. As her ex-boyfriend, I can promise you, there is nothing Lana hates more than being alone!” He punches me lightly on the shoulder, like we’re still best friends.
I grit my teeth and try to force my face into a smile. “I have no doubt I’ll be able to crush this competition. I’m single and ready to mingle!” I can’t help but cringe at my own cliché declaration.
Seth covers his heart with one hand. “While I’m finally ready to settle down and make some lucky woman very happy.”
I snort. Loudly. “Hopefully Seth has learned the definition ofseriousandsettle downsometime over the past twelve years!”
Corey waves a wild hand at us, holding up one of her poster boards, pointing at the information written on the card.
I open my mouth to expand on the finer details of the competition, but Seth beats me to it.
“Maybe the most exciting thing about this challenge is that you, the readers, will help select a winner!” He winks at the camera.
I roll my eyes and push myself forward so I’m blocking him from view. “That’s right! Your clicks and comments will be converted into points, and at the end of the ten-week period, there’ll be a final vote where you get to decide who has done the best job with their mission.” I toss my hair over my shoulder. “I’m confident you’ll see how committed I am to finding myself and award me the final prize!”
Seth nudges me out of the way. “And I’m confident Lana couldn’t find herself if she had a personal GPS.”
“Well, take it from me, folks, Seth doesn’t know the first thing about making a woman happy.” I spread my arms wide, almost smacking him in the face.
“That’s not what you said at the reunion.” He raises his eyebrows and smirks.
I keep on my scary-cheerful presenter voice to hide the trembling. “We’re definitely not going there in front of a live audience, Seth. Thanks so much for joining us, and keep an eye on the site for our first series of challenges, coming soon!”
Corey stabs at her phone a couple of times and an absolute, suffocating silence fills the office. She finally breaks it. “Ummm, shit.”
I take it that means the stream has ended.
Ohmigod. The stream. That was all streamed. Live. To who knows how many viewers. My entire body heats with the red flames of embarrassment.
I feel Seth behind me and my skin crawls. I cannot believe he was about to air our dirty laundry in front of Thor knows how many followers.
“Parker.” He’s dropped the phony presenter voice, and the single word from his lips is low and rumbly. Like he’s also just realizing what we put out on the internet for the world to see.
I spin around, venom in my eyes and my voice. “Seriously, Seth? Fuck off.”
For a second, a flicker of shame lights his eyes. But then they harden against me. “We’re supposed to exchange task lists tomorrow, and I, for one, would like to be professional about this.”
I scoff, crossing my arms over my chest. “Why start now?” I gesture back to the area where we filmed. “That was a fucking disaster.”
