“Excuse you, we were children.” I toss one of my french fries across the table at her. Though she’s not wrong.
May picks up the discarded fry and eats it in one bite. “Enough about Seth and his dirty, dirty ways. We really need to talk about this list,andthat video.”
Tessa removes said list from my hands before I can crumple it into a ball, shooting me a sympathetic smile.
Dipping a fry in ketchup and swirling it around for way longer than needed, I avoid looking at any of them. “I don’t really know what there is to say about the list. I don’t think it’ll be that hard to accomplish most of the tasks.” Emphasis on themost.
“Sure. Volunteering, taking a class, playing tourist in LA, those are all things you might’ve done anyway.” Corey crosses her arms, leaning on the table.
“Yeah,” May chimes in. “Were your life not centered around someone else and their wants and needs.”
I sit back in my seat, crossing my own arms over my chest. “I don’t think I did that.”
She purses her lips, not saying anything. Tessa and Corey flash me similarnot buying itlooks.
“Okay, fine. Maybe I did that sometimes, but it’s not like my life fully revolved around Evan’s.”
“Not just his, LP. Mine and your colleagues’. Natasha’s too.” May gestures around as Tessa and Corey nod. “It’s not an inherently bad thing, you know. You just don’t usually like to do things on your own, and so you sometimes let your own wants and needs take a backseat.”
“You say it like it’s a bad thing.” I swirl another fry inketchup, no intention of eating it, just needing something to do with my hands.
“Okay, fine. Sometimes I think it’s a bad thing.” May chugs the remainder of her wine.
“Let’s try something.” Tessa reaches over and pats my hand. “An easy question. If you could do anything, job-wise, what would you do? No caveats, just whatever you wanted, sky’s the limit.”
“I’d write about books. And probably TV shows and movies too. Have my own column where I could talk about the things I’m passionate about.” I don’t even need time to think about it because I’ve been thinking about it for the past eight years.
“Or maybe your own website where you could write about whatever you wanted?” Corey gives me a pointed look, her eyebrows practically touching her hairline.
I stick my tongue out at her. “You all know why I don’t promote my blog. It’s my personal space to write about whatever I want.” I hear the echo as the words trail out of my mouth.
May leans forward. “You know between my PR skills and your social media presence we could easily make your blog a legitimate hit.”
“No one wants to read my fandom ramblings.”
Corey shrugs, refilling her wineglass from the communal bottle. “I read your fandom ramblings and they’re so good they almost make me care about superheroes and droids.”
“That doesn’t mean it could ever be something thatmakes me enough money to pay the bills.” And yes, I’m super lucky to not have nearly as many bills as the average millennial Angeleno. But even still, living in LA doesn’t come cheap.
“How do you know if you don’t try?”
I sit with the question for a minute.
May takes advantage of my silence. “Maybe instead of devoting time to a man, you can devote your time to building something for yourself.”
I bristle a little, not fully ready to hear my friends’ advice. “Well, maybe I could have, but now I’m going to be spending all my time accomplishing these tasks for some stupid competition. I won’t have any free time to do anything.”
Corey rolls her eyes. “You still have plenty of time. If it’s something you want, you’ll make time.”
“Well, if and when I win this whole thing, I’m gonna get my own column anyway, so why should I spend the energy reinventing the wheel?” I try to hide the whine in my voice with a long sip of the wine in my glass.
May leans over and refills it for me. “Whatever, LP. If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. Find something else. Learn to crochet or train for a marathon.”
We all make a face at the idea of me running.
“Whatever you decide, maybe you should use this opportunity to do something for yourself. Not for a guy orATFor Natasha or us. Something that’s just for you.” Tessa’s sweet smile is maybe the only thing that could wear me down.
“Fine. I’ll think about it.” I finish off my wine, setting theempty glass down not exactly gently. “Let’s talk about someone else’s problems. May, any news on the promotion?”
