Seth:YOU accused me of taking the easy way out.
Seth:You have no idea what the past twelve years of my life have looked like, and the work I’ve done.
Lana:...
Lana:...
Lana:It does sometimes feel like you’ve always gotten everything I wanted.
Seth:It does sometimes feel like you assume that because I have supportive parents, my life must be a walk in the park.
Seth:And it hasn’t been.
Lana:You’re right. I’m sorry.
Lana:You’ve worked really hard to get where you are. I know that. And I really admire that about you.
Seth:Thank you.
Seth:I know how hard you work too. And I know you’d never rely on anyone to take care of you. Especially not your mom.
Lana:Do you really think that?
Seth:Of course I do.
Seth:It will be a really good day when you can finally see yourself the way the rest of us see you.
Seth:And areallygood day when you stop trying to pick a fight with me every five minutes.
Lana:Well, that’s never going to happen.
Seth:Good night, Parker.
Lana:Good night, Seth.
—
“I cannot believethat poor girl is still interested in going out with him after everything that went down at Cabo Cantina.” May skims through Seth’s booty-call article, which, even though it focuses on deleting his dating apps, still mentions going on a second date. May somehow manages to roll her eyes and read at the same time.
I pull down the brim of my Dodgers hat, shielding myeyes from the sun and her words. We’re sitting in my backyard enjoying the summer warmth. Or at least, I was enjoying it until the topic of Seth came up. Again. As it seems to do in every conversation these days.
May still can’t believe I sort of kissed him on speed-dating night. And she refuses to believe that I have no feelings about the situation.
She’s right to be suspicious of that part. Of course I have feelings about the situation, how could I not? They’re just feelings that change practically from minute to minute, depending on who I’m with and what I’m thinking about at any given moment.
May lets us sit in the quiet for several seconds, reveling in the gentle sound of birds chirping and the rustle of the palm leaves as the breeze picks up.
“You never really told me about the breakup, you know.”
I feign ignorance. “With Evan? I mean, you were practically there when it happened, I didn’t think I needed to give the details.”
“You know that’s not who I meant.”
I pull at the loose strings at the hem of my cutoff jean shorts. “It was a long time ago.”
“Feels like it’s pretty relevant to the present situation, my friend.”
It’s been hard not talking about my messy, muddy feelings with May, and if I have any hope of even articulating what’s currently going on in my mind, she probably should know how the whole thing started. And while I don’t wish to relive the details, maybe talking it out will bring somemuch-needed clarity. Letting my head fall back against the cushion of the chaise longue, I take a deep breath. “Seth and I started dating toward the beginning of high school. We’d known each other practically our entire lives, had been friends since we were kids, but I never thought he would like me like that. He was always the popular kid, so smart and hot and cool.”
