Seth rolls over so he’s on top of me, our bodies practically melting into one. His hand cups my cheek and he lowers his head; his kiss is soft and sweet, as if this is the first time. Or maybe the last.
Gone is the frantic passion from the night before. Gone is the urgency, the feeling that this all might slip away if we pause for even a second. It’s morning, and everything feels slower. He takes his time, his mouth exploring every dip and curve of mine before it moves down to my neck. He kisses the hollow of my throat and nips at the line of my collarbone. My hands tangle in his hair, pulling his lips back to mine so I can do some exploring of my own.
His chest presses against mine, our heartbeats synced and pounding. My fingers trace the stubble of his cheeks and the defined line of his jaw before my hands set to roaming, needing to feel every inch of him.
He captures one of my hands in his, kissing my palm before lacing our fingers together. I take him in my free hand, guiding him to my entrance. His eyes find mine and don’t let go as he pushes into me, so slowly I gasp when he’s fully seated.
It’s a fullness, and a completeness, that was somehow missing the night before.
He stays still inside of me, kissing me softly. When he does start to thrust, it’s the barest of motions, our bodies never separating, our eyes never straying from each other.
I memorize every second. When his fingers tighten around mine. When his mouth brushes mine in the lightest of touches. When his forehead meets mine and we literally can’t get any closer.
I know it will never be like this again. This is my last time with Seth; it’s the closure we both need to fully move on. Seth needs to be open to a serious relationship, and I need to be comfortable being alone. But nothing else—no one else—is ever going to feel like this again. Like my whole body and my mind and my heart are on the verge of implosion. I’m aching and sated and exhilarated and devastated and cherished.
Tears start clouding my eyes and I bring his lips to mine in the hopes he won’t see them. I use the press of his mouth to center me, to focus me on the here and now. He still moves achingly slowly inside of me, and I’m caught off guard when the tension begins to build. I’m not barreling toward releaselike I did so many times with him the night before, but the pressure is rising within me so steadily, I’m reaching for the explosion.
“Seth,” I gasp.
“Oh god, Lana,” he groans.
I’m not sure whose fingers clench or whose mouth crushes, but we tumble together, every inch of us intertwined and connected.
The soft kisses continue, neither of us wanting to separate or face the reality of what happens when we’re no longer in this bed and wrapped up in each other.
But eventually we have to breathe.
When Seth slips from me, rolling to the side of the bed so as not to crush me, my heart empties, deflating like a week-old balloon.
I allow myself ten seconds to steady myself before I sit up and swing my legs to the edge of the bed, turning away from him.
His hand strokes down the length of my spine. “Lana...”
“I should go.” The absolute last thing my body wants to do is stand, but I force myself into motion. My clothes are still in the living room, so I grab a blanket that was knocked to the floor, wrapping it around me. It’s not like I need to hide my nudity from him at this point, but this shield of armor might help me make it to the front door.
“You don’t have to go.” He climbs from the bed, grabbing a pair of boxers from his dresser and stepping into them. “I don’t want you to go.”
Despite our being as physically close as two people couldpossibly be for the last twelve hours, the sight of him still takes my breath away. As much as I want to, I can’t let myself stay. Staying means finding myself back in another serious relationship, because being with Seth couldn’t be anything but serious. And I don’t want that; I’ve come too far to throw it all away now. I’m learning to stand on my own, and remaining here in Seth’s house for even a minute longer has the power to totally derail all the progress I’ve made. Not to mention the fact it could cost me the biggest opportunity of my career.
“Our one night is over, Seth. I have to go.” I start toward the door of his bedroom, needing to gather my clothes and my resolve and leave. “One night only, remember?”
He puts a gentle hand on my forearm, more than enough to stop me. “You don’t actually think I only wanted you for one night.”
I clutch the blanket closer to my chest. “That’s what we agreed on. One night. No strings. Just sex. Closure.”
His jaw clenches, his eyes piercing mine. “I know that, but you have to know that’s not what I really want.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Seth. I came here to complete my task, have a one-night stand. That’s all this was.”
“That is not allthatwas.” He points at the bed, his meaning clear. What happened there, just a few minutes ago, is not the same as what happened last night. “Don’t try to tell me that didn’t mean anything, because I know it did.”
“It meant something because you will always mean something to me, but it was just sex, Seth.”
“Not to me.” He scrubs his face with both hands, and it flips some kind of switch. “I can’t fucking believe you’re doing this again. And I can’t believe I fucking fell for it.”
My fingers clench the blanket even tighter, as if it will protect me from Seth’s angry words. “Again? What are you even talking about?”
He throws both arms wide open. “This is just like the fucking reunion, Parker. You’re using me, using my feelings for you to get what you want, and then bailing when it doesn’t go exactly as you planned.”
