The lack of surprise on her face makes it clear that Liz has mentioned this to her already, which is honestly rude and should be illegal. My mom and Liz hit it off the moment they met on move-in day back during our freshman year of college and have had their own pseudo mother-daughter relationship ever since. “And?”
“And I don’twantto be in the movie.” I study her face, watching for even the smallest of hidden messages in her reaction, but the woman is a three-time Best Actress Academy Award winner and gives away nothing.
“So tell her no.”
“I did. Several times.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
I glare at her for being purposefully obtuse. Is this what it’s like to have a child? Because no thank you. “The problem is she keeps pressuring me.”
“If you don’t want to do it, then who cares? Liz is your best friend. If you don’t want to be in the movie, she’ll find someone else to be in the movie.” She picks up her mug and watches me carefully over the rim as she sips.
“What if she can’t find someone else?”
“You mean to tell me that in the entire city of Los Angeles, the entertainment capital of the world, esteemed director Liz Hudson can’t find a single actress to be in her film? Back in my day, girls would’ve been lining up for the chance to audition.”
“It’sourmovie,” I grumble. “And there are girls lining up to audition. They’re just not exactly what we’re looking for. And Kurt threatened to pull funding if we don’t make a decision, like, today.”
She shrugs. “Then pick whoever’s second best.”
I grit my teeth and try not to snap the handle off my mug. “I don’t want someone who’s second best.”
“Then I guess that means you’ll have to play the part.” Her smile is as sweet as my coffee.
“Your mind games don’t work on me, Mom. I’m not thirteen anymore.”
Her eyes open wide with false innocence. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, sweetie. I’m just trying to help you figure out your problem.”
“You’re a menace.” I carefully set my coffee cup on the gold tray sitting on the cushioned ottoman.
She leans forward, resting her arms on her knees. Thanks to the small space, it leaves only about two feet between us. “Why are you hesitant about taking this part, Emilia?”
“Ouch, okay, there’s no need to full-name me here. I’m not in trouble or anything.”
Instead of responding to my deflection, my mom simply holds my gaze.
I sit back in my seat with a sigh. “I’m a writer, not a performer. And you know I hate being on camera.” It’s even harder to lie to her than it is to Liz.
“Is this about that idiot boy?”
A small smile tugs on my lips. When it comes to holding a grudge, I learned from the very best. We Harper women do it well. “No, this is not about that idiot boy. At least not directly.”
She reaches across the short divide between us, taking my hand and gently pulling me forward so my position mirrors hers. “If you really don’t want to do this, you knowyou don’t have to, no matter how much Liz is pressuring you. She’s a big girl; she’ll get over it.”
“But?”
“But if you’re saying no because you think you can’t do it, because you think you might fail, then that’s bullshit and you need to get over yourself.”
“Wow, Mom, thanks so much for your love and caring support.”
She gives my hand a squeeze before returning to her upright position. “You know I’m right.”
I remain folded in half, elbows resting on my knees, head hanging down. “There’s a part of me that does want to say yes. Mostly because I feel like Dad would agree with you and encourage me to do it. He’d tell me to fuck the haters and not to be afraid to try something different, to go for what I want.” A tissue appears in front of me, and I didn’t even realize I was crying. I take it and blot at my eyes.
My mom rises from her chair and joins me on the couch, tugging me into her embrace. “I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what he would say.”
My head falls onto her shoulder.
