I have to swallow the lump in my throat. “I want you too.”
“Even if it’s only for tonight?”
I slam my eyes closed, letting my senses breathe her in. Tomorrow morning the roads will be cleared, and Jess will go home. We can very easily finish writing this book from the comfort of our own separate homes. It will be months before we have to see each other in person again. If she wants to walk out of this room in the morning without a look back, there won’t be anything I can do to stop her.
One last time with the love of my life.
Even if there’s a solid chance that having her just to lose her might actually kill me.
But I can deny this woman nothing. And I don’t want to deny her this. I want her—I need her—no matter what happens next.
I move my hand from her hair to the curve of her jaw, running my thumb along the smooth skin of her cheek. “I’m here for whatever the rest of the night brings us, Jess. Whatever you want from me, I’m here to give it. Willingly.” I tip her chin up, but I wait for her to close the distance between us.
She studies me for a long second first, her deep brown eyes full of questions, like mine might hold all the answers.
The first brush of her lips against mine is as fleeting as a snowflake landing on your eyelashes and melting away a second later.
The second press of her lips against mine absolutely wrecks me, destroys me, breaks me, and heals me all in one go.
Chapter Nineteen
Jess
Oh god. This is either the best or worst decision I’ve ever made in my entire life. Best because, holy shit, I forgot how good Nick Matthews is at kissing. Worst because, holy shit, I forgot how good Nick Matthews is at kissing.
How am I going to wake up in the morning—in just a few hours from now—and pretend like he hasn’t just kissed me like the world is ending? Thank god I’m already lying down, because I know my knees wouldn’t be able to support me as Nick’s lips move over mine, as he sucks my bottom lip in between his, letting his teeth nibble along the delicate skin before his tongue tangles with mine. The kiss is slow and languid, and heat pools in my belly and, fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anyone as much as I want him in this moment.
I can’t stop touching him, can’t stop my hands from roaming over every inch of his skin. My hands trail up the bare expanse of his chest, down over the ridges of his abs, around to the solid muscles of his back. He shifts hisweight, his hips pressing my legs open as his mouth continues to devour mine.
When he breaks the kiss, it’s only to let his mouth move along the line of my jaw, down my neck. His teeth graze the place where my shoulder and neck meet.
“More,” I demand, twining my legs with his, pulling him down on top of me. The weight of him over me is delicious and warm and comforting, and when the hard length of him presses against my core, I groan.
Nick heeds my request, marking me with his teeth and soothing the skin with a brush of his tongue. He puts the slightest bit of space between us and his pupils widen, the hazel of his eyes almost completely obstructed. “Jesus, Jess.” He rolls his hips, slow enough that I can feel every inch of him, waiting for me.
My hand skirts down his stomach and I palm him through the fabric of his pajama pants. This time he’s the one letting out the unholy groan, the sound of it hitting me right in my core.
He takes my hand in his, lacing our fingers together and bringing our joined hands over my head. “It’s going to be hard enough for me to last without your hands all over me.”
I squeeze his hand and shift my hips up to meet his. “I want to touch you, Nick.”
“I promise I’ll let you do whatever you want to me, but you’ve got to let me take my time with you first.” He trails a single finger along the exposed edge of my collarbone and somehow this simple touch is the hottest thing I’ve ever felt.
“Fine,” I sigh, like he’s really putting me out with all the foreplay.
He grins, kissing the smirk right off my face. Eventually his mouth moves down once again, licking along the neckline of his shirt. My nipples are peaked and the fabric is thin, and when his mouth descends, my back arches off the bed, reaching for him.
His hands fist in the hem of the shirt and he drags it slowly up, baring my panties and then the skin of my belly. His lips follow the shirt as it continues upward. He licks at the undersides of my breasts before finally baring me to the chilly air. I take that as permission to yank the damn shirt over my head.
Nick shifts his weight, pulling himself away from me and resting on his knees. His eyes rove over me, and for half a second I wonder if he’s disappointed in what he sees. It’s been a few years and I’m sure my body has changed.
“Why did you stop?”
“Just a pause. I wanted to—”
“Do not give me some cheesy line from one of your books like you had to stop and drink me in because you can’t believe how beautiful my skin looks in the moonlight.”
He drags his fingers from my belly button up to the swell of my chest. “Your skin does look beautiful in the moonlight.” His fingers lock around one nipple, pinching with just enough pressure, while his tongue swipes at the other. “And I do want to drink you in, Jess. I want to kiss every part of you, see what still makes you squirm and what makes you sigh.” He sucks the bud into his mouth, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin.
