“Why?”
“Because I enjoy helping people?” He doesn’t includedumbassat the end of his statement, but it’s implied. “And since everyone here is absurdly healthy, I need something to do with my days.”
“Like work on tasks you don’t seem to have been assigned?” My unoccupied hand flies to my hip as I survey the massive amount of stuff. “Please tell me you have some kind of advanced organizational system at work here.”
Ben rolls his eyes, tossing his bag onto one of the bleacher seats. “Of course I do.”
I take a long swig of my coffee. “And what exactly is the plan for today?”
“Tomorrow we’re going to start setting up out in the town square, so today is all about making sure everything is ready to go. We’ve got boxes to unpack and a lot of stuff to organize and sort so it’s ready to be moved.”
“Sounds like there is going to be manual labor involved in this job.” I started paying people for manual labor a long time ago and have never had any intentions of going back.
Ben crosses his arms over his chest, the movementmaking the fabric of his gray T-shirt pull tightly across his biceps. “Mimi mentioned she had your suitors all picked out and ready to go. You’re welcome to head back to the café and arrange some dates instead.”
I clap my hands together and force a smile across my face. “Who doesn’t love a little manual labor?”
Ben leads me over to one of the huge stacks of boxes and leaves me with instructions to unpack stuffed animals and sort them into various bags for the game booths. It’s boring, menial work, but at least the stuffed animals aren’t heavy. After watching me for a few minutes to make sure I don’t screw up this very simple task, Ben heads to the opposite side of the gym, leaving me with quiet that doesn’t feel all that peaceful.
Mimi’s earlier comments start to play over in my mind even though I know nothing good can come from dwelling on them. Who cares if I wasn’t happy in my real life? I can’t think of a single person I know back in the real world who I would consider to be truly happy. I think that’s just how it’s supposed to work. You’re born, your parents screw you up to varying degrees, you find a job that pays the bills and start living to work, and then you die.
Sure, there are probably a few people out there who actually like their spouse and enjoy spending time with their kids, but I haven’t met anyone who could truthfully claim so; certainly no one in my family could pretend to enjoy one another’s company.
So yeah, despite Mimi’s good intentions, her little come-to-Jesus moment isn’t going to lead me toward any sort of radicalmy life is changed,I’m going to quit my job and live for the peoplebullshit.
Though maybe if I pretend to go along with her little plan now that I’ve had some time here in Heart Springs, it might put me one step closer to getting the fuck out of here. Will Mimi buy that I’ve changed in such a short amount of time? Hmm. The next time I see her, I’ll have to try it out.
“How’s it going over here?” Ben interrupts my musings, and I realize I haven’t exactly been moving at top pace while I’ve been contemplating the best way to fake enlightenment.
“Great!” I gesture to the still mostly full boxes around me. “Should be done in no time.”
“Right.” Ben sets down his clipboard and opens the next box in my pile.
Back to the quiet of it all, only this time it somehow manages to actually feel peaceful.
When the peace becomes a little too comfortable, I clear my throat. “So Mimi told you she wants me to start working on the whole falling in love bit?”
“She told me she had your suitors lined up and ready to go.” His brow furrows as if he is contemplating some serious question, which seems incongruous with the stuffed panda he holds in one hand and the stuffed penguin he holds in the other. It shouldn’t be cute, and yet…
“Did she give you any details about these so-called suitors?” I toss a pink unicorn into a bag and turn to open the next box, hoping to get some info on the men in question before I have to come face-to-face with them.
“She did.”
I wait a few beats. “Are you going to fill me in?”
“No.” He shoots me one of his playful grins. “Sorry, sweetheart, but I can’t break the code.”
I blow a stray strand of hair out of my eyes. “Well, what can you tell me? Are they all terrible? Are they going to expect me to fall all over myself trying to be the perfect little wife? Am I going to have to give up my career?”
He stares at me like he’s never seen a human woman before, the force of his brown eyes seeing so much more than I want them to. “Is that what you think relationships look like? You giving up yourself to make someone else happy?”
I shrug, turning my attention back to the boxes at my feet because it’s easier than getting lost in the depths of his gaze. “I’ve never seen any evidence to support the contrary.”
“Is that why you would barely even look at me on our date?”
I sigh loudly and dramatically as if that might deter this line of questioning. “I don’t want a relationship, so I didn’t see any point in delaying the inevitable.” The inevitable being a total crash and burn, which is exactly what happened when my mother fell in love with my father. “I still don’t think it’s fair that I have to go on a bunch of dumb dates and you don’t. How come someone out in the real world hasn’t snatched you up already, anyway? You seem to buy into this love bullshit. What’s the deal?”
“I’ve asked myself that a lot actually.” Ben’s voice is quiet, and if I didn’t know any better, I might think there was a trace of pain in his words. “Even though I’ve managed to strike a better work-life balance than some people in this room, I think my job still makes it hard to get close to people.”
