He doesn’t move away. If I didn’t know better, I’d almost say he leans in just a tad farther.
I meet his gaze, opening my mouth to say something, anything, if it will keep us here in this bubble for a second longer.
“Hey, Doc, thanks for keeping my date company.” Jason’s voice is booming, and he sounds genuinely thankful and not at all jealous, which I find only slightly offensive.
Ben shoots me a look I can’t quite interpret before standing. “Happy to be of service.”
Jason claps him on the shoulder, the force of it causing Ben to stumble forward. “Enjoy the show.”
“Yeah, see you guys later.” Without a look back, Ben strides off across the lawn.
Jason retakes his seat, an overloaded plate of Mexican food in his hand.
I’m already full, which is good since Jason offers me nary a taco. Luckily the concert starts shortly after he sits back down, and I can pretend our lack of conversation is out of respect for the music.
The band is good, I guess, if you’re into country songs about trucks and girls and dogs and ‘Murica, which Jason seems to be. I let my focus wander, using the time to people-watch instead of paying attention to the show. Mimi is nowhere to be found, but I spot Emma and Ethan, sitting on two separate blankets just close enough together that they can sneak glances at each other, far enough away that no one else would notice. I wonder what would happen if I were to go over there and physically force their faces together like little girls make their Barbie and Ken dolls kiss. Not that I would ever really do that, but it is kind of fun tothink about. And it might be the only way to get them together—if someone else makes the first move. Hmm…I’ll have to think on that.
It isn’t until my eyes land on him on the opposite side of the grassy expanse that I realize I’ve been looking for Ben. He’s sitting in a low chair, surrounded by people, yet somehow totally separate from the crowd. It’s been easy to assume Ben has assimilated into the town in an effortless way I never could, but maybe he hasn’t made as many connections as I’d thought. Maybe Ben is struggling just as much as I am, just in a different way.
He meets my gaze almost the second my eyes land on him, a soft smile curving his lips.
And there’s more of those weird chest spasms that should act as a reminder to go get a checkup when I get back home. It does something to me, that smile.
It forces me to turn to Jason and whisper, “You wanna get out of here? We can go back to my place.”
For a hot second he looks like he wants to protest, but then he changes his mind and jumps to his feet. Throwing the blanket over his shoulder, he takes my hand and leads me out of the park.
I don’t know if Ben’s eyes are still on me and I force myself not to care.
The second we clear the steps on my front stoop, I shove Jason against the front door. The man is a beast, and I physically couldn’t move him without his permission, but he doesn’t make the first move. Or the second move, really, since I guess throwing someone up against a door and pressing my tits into his chest probably counts as the first move.
When Jason continues to remain statue still, I threadmy fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and rise on my tiptoes, leaning in for a kiss. He immediately pulls away, putting a foot of space between us.
“Whoa.” He chuckles. “No need to rush things there, Cam.”
My eyes widen, likely to the point of ridiculousness. “Are you serious right now?”
Jason removes my hands from his hair and tucks them in his big paws, effectively ending our non-makeout sesh. “I really want to get to know you. Let’s save the physical part of our relationship for a time when it will really be special, you know?”
“No, I don’t know. How do you propose to get to know me better when you didn’t ask me one fucking question our entire date?” I yank my hands from his and cross my arms beneath my boobs, hoping a glimpse of my fantastic cleavage will entice him to change his mind.
He has the nerve to look sheepish. “I’m just really shy, and it’s hard for me to open up to people.”
I roll my eyes. “Look, Jason, no offense, but I thought we were on the same page about what this is. Or what this was supposed to be.”
“A chance at true love?”
I snort. “A good fuck.”
Now his eyes widen.
But I don’t have the patience for this anymore. “Clearly that’s not going to happen, so I think we should probably just call it a night.”
“Can I take you out again sometime?” The hope shining from his eyes seems genuine and it makes me feel like even more of an asshole than I usually do.
I sigh and give his hand a quick squeeze beforedropping it so he doesn’t get the wrong impression. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jason. We’re not right for each other, and I would hate to waste your time.” I don’t even complain about the complete waste of time this date has been, which might be what they call personal growth.
After a final sad, pitiful smile, Jason waves and heads down the walk and out my front gate.
