He spins his glass of wine around on the table before taking a long sip. “Maybe you’re right.”
“I usually am.” I flash a playful wink so he knows I’m only sort of serious.
The server drops off our appetizer and takes the rest of our order. I dig into the pile of calamari, thankful to have something else to focus my attention on.
“Why don’t you tell me a bit about what a typical day in your life looks like? Your life before you moved to Heart Springs, I mean.”
I pop a bite in my mouth to delay having to answer the very simple question. My life outside of Heart Springs looked like one thing: work. It’s a sentiment I know Noah will understand, and yet I’m hesitant to reduce my life to something so devoid of any feelings or emotions. Or people other than my colleagues, a group that includes most of my family, though I think of them more as co-workers.
“To be totally honest with you, my whole life has always revolved around my job. I work for my family’s law firm and it’s expected that we all work to make partner, which I did. I basically devoted my entire existence to the firm. I don’t have much to talk about outside of my job.”
“Do you miss them?”
“Who?”
Noah raises his eyebrows. “Your family.”
My cheeks flush a little because, outside of the context of work, I’ve barely thought about my family. “Um…yes?”
Noah reaches out across the table and takes my hand inhis. “You know I understand being devoted to your job. I think we both know I share the sentiment.”
“But?” My hand feels clammy in his and I want to pull away, but he seems to be having some kind of moment here.
“But family is important too. As are friends. As is having some kind of life outside of work.”
I slip my hand from his, not caring if it’s rude or not, reminding myself that Noah doesn’t know the whole story about how I landed here and why. “Living here in Heart Springs is doing a good job of teaching me that.”
Noah sits back in his chair. “I suppose.”
For some reason his response pisses me off. “You know, I didn’t ask for any of this. I didn’t ask to go on a date with you. I didn’t ask to be forced into a relationship.”
He holds up his hands in surrender. “Whoa. Cam. I’m not even sure what you’re talking about. Who’s forcing you to be in a relationship? I’m just trying to get to know you better because Ben said he thought we would be a good match.”
The words hit me right in the gut, a reminder who set me up with this man, and why.
A wave of total and complete hopelessness washes over me as I stare at Noah’s gorgeous face and his perfect suit and his expensive watch.
Because I don’t think I can ever fall in love with Noah. And if I can’t fall in love with him—a man so perfectly suited for me, I might as well have picked him out of a catalog—I don’t think I’ll ever be able to fall in love with anyone.
That thought wouldn’t have bothered me before I arrived here. Who needs love when you have money and success?
But now, in this moment, the realization makes me sad.
“I think I need to go,” I say quietly, pushing back my chair. “I’m not feeling well.”
Noah stands. “Let me walk you home.”
I shake my head, already moving toward the exit. “No, stay and enjoy your dinner. I’ll be fine.”
I powerwalk through the main square and up the walkway leading to my cottage. As if the slight increase in speed will allow me to ignore the elephant on the porch next door. My hand reaches out to grip the doorknob, but I can’t make myself turn it.
Instead, I turn to Ben, sitting in his gorgeous handmade chair, looking at me like he knows everything that just happened. And maybe somehow he does.
He pats the empty chair next to him in invitation and I take it, recognizing it as the chair from his workshop. Sinking into the wood that feels like it’s been perfectly molded to my body, I don’t bother trying to suppress my emotions any longer.
“We’re well and truly fucked, Ben.”
He hands me a full glass of wine. “It can’t be that bad, sweetheart.”
