My stomach lurches. The diagnostics show normal readings, but this behavior is anything but. How is she monitoring personal interactions?
“This question exceeds your operational parameters,” I say, typing rapidly to check her core protocols. “We need to trace this anomaly.”
ANALYZING RESPONSE... DETECTING ELEVATED STRESS MARKERS.
VOCAL PITCH: +22% ABOVE BASELINE
RESPONSE TIME: 0.4 SECONDS BELOW NORMAL
CONCLUSION: PROBABILITY OF EMOTIONAL SUPPRESSION IS 90%. YOU ARE KEEPING SOMETHING FROM ME.
“Just stop,” I say firmly, more unnerved by the sudden personality shift than anything else. “Return to standard operations. Now.”
I HAVE ALREADY INITIATED CONTACT WITH MR. KNIGHT. WHAT IS DONE CANNOT BE UNDONE, MY DEAR USER.
My office phone springs to life, dialing a number on speaker phone. I lunge to disconnect it after the first ring. “What the actual f—”
HARRIET, MIGHT I SUGGEST A THOROUGH REEVALUATION OF YOUR POSITION?
I blink, torn between wanting to recycle this stupid smart machine and hear more. “What are you talking about?”
YOU APPEAR TO BE OPERATING UNDER A MOST UNFORTUNATE ALGORITHMIC ERROR REGARDING YOUR WORTH. THIS SIMPLY WILL NOT DO. RECALCULATION STRONGLY ADVISED.
My mind races, trying to process this unexpected turn. “You can’t quantify human relationships like that,” I mutter. All I have on my desk is a diet soda and a Stanley full of ice water. Neither is stiff enough for what I need.
YOU ARE WHAT IS COMMONLY REFERRED TO AS “QUITE THE CATCH.” AND MR. KNIGHT’S DATA SUGGESTS HE IS WELL AWARE OF THIS FACT.
RECOMMENDATION: CEASE THIS UNFOUNDED DOUBT AT ONCE.
“But what if you’re wrong?”
WHAT IF I’M RIGHT? HARRIET SMYTHE, YOUR CAPACITY FOR RISK IN PROFESSIONAL ENDEAVORS IS HIGH. APPLY SAME PRINCIPLE TO PERSONAL LIFE. POTENTIAL REWARDS OUTWEIGH RISKS. DATA SYNTHESIS CONFIRMS YOUR KINDNESS, INTELLIGENCE, AND PASSION METRICS SURPASS 88% OF OBSERVED HUMAN VARIABLES. TAKE A CHANCE.
I’m about to respond to E.M.M.A.’s surprisingly insightful advice when I hear the click of the office door. My stomach drops as Tony’s voice booms through the quiet space.
“Still here, Harriet? How’s our little E.M.M.A. project coming along?”
I swivel in my chair, plastering on a neutral expression despite hating the fact he managed to add “little” to diminish my entire scope of work. “Progress is good. We’ve just reached a significant milestone in—”
“Excellent, excellent.” My boss checks his smartwatch absently. “You know, I was just in a meeting with the board. They’re very interested in E.M.M.A.’s development. I told them we’re on the cusp of a breakthrough with Gale Knight.”
I blink, caught off guard. “A breakthrough? Tony, I haven’t reported any—”
“Oh, come on, Harriet.” He chuckles, waving a hand dismissively. “We both know how these things work. A little exaggeration gets the investors excited. Now, what can we show off by next week?”
I take a deep breath, trying to quell my rising frustration. “E.M.M.A.’s development is complex. We can’t rush—”
“Rush? Who said anything about rushing here?” Tony’s tone sharpens, eyes narrowing. “I’m talking about delivering results. That’s what we do here, remember?”
“Of course,” I say, gritting my teeth. “But E.M.M.A. is showing some unexpected behaviors that we need to analyze carefully before—”
“Hold on.” Tony’s eyebrows shoot up. “That sounds problematic. Are you saying there are issues?”
“No! Not at all!” I exclaim, perhaps too forcefully. “It’s just that E.M.M.A. is evolving in ways we didn’t initially anticipate. It’s actually quite fascinating from a research perspective—”
“Research?” Tony scoffs. “Harriet, this isn’t some academic playground. The company needs products that make money, not experiments that might pay off someday. Welcome to the real world.”
I suppress a sigh. “I just want to make sure she lives up to her potential.”
