I don’t have the first idea how to fill a place like this. Everything in my trailer came with it, so I didn’t have to pick out a damn thing. I wonder if Lennon knows how to do that. His furniture doesn’t look new or even like it came from the same place, although it doesn’t look like a bunch of random stuff pieced together either. Murphy’s, on the other hand… that place has a vibe that’s both trendy and homey, so it’s comfortable to hang out in for long periods of time. I’d like a similar vibe in my house.
Would he help me pick what I need to fill this place if I bought it?
The part of me that thinks he would is ready to make an offer right now, but the part of me that vowed never to become my father is pumping the brakes. I need to review my finances first, because transforming this place into the vision I have in my head won’t come cheap, and I don’t want to throw away my cash like he does. Then there’s Lennon himself to consider. I can’t live in the same town and not be with him, so if he isn’t thinking of us the same way I am then there’s no reason to put down roots. The last thing I need is to get locked into a property I can’t use.
No, the smart play is to get him on my page, and that starts with taking a weekend trip to one of my competitions. I don’t want topull him out of the life he’s built, but I can’t just ditch mine either. I have to find out if he’s willing to meet me halfway. If he comes to a competition, I’ll take that as a sign that we both want the same thing. Until then, well, I’ll just have to keep giving him reasons why he should want me to stick around.
Chapter seventeen
Lennon
“Ikeep hearing everyone talk about this Solstice party. What is it?” Axel asks as he pulls back the covers and climbs in my bed like he’s been doing it all his life.
Is itmineif he’s always in it?
Shaking that thought away I answer his question. “It’s a party to welcome summer. They close down Main Street and have one large community potluck. Everyone brings food and treats. Most of the restaurants donate some food or sell it at a discount. Bands play at the end of Main Street, and at dusk there’s a bonfire in an empty lot on the outskirts of town to thank the sun.”
“Thank the sun?” He arches a brow at me as he scoots down and sticks his arm out, calling me to his side.
Despite my better judgment, I crawl in next to him, tucking my head against his shoulder.It’s right there, might as well not let it go to waste.
“In this town we find an excuse for a party or festival at least every other month. Every month in the summer.”
“When is this party?”
“Tomorrow.” I trace the lines of muscle on his abdomen.
“Aren’t you going to invite me to it?” His stomach ripples when my finger hits a sensitive spot.
“I don’t usually go. I do pizza only that day and we serve it in the restaurant and on the street for the block party. Then I clean up. By the time I’m done I’m too tired to go to the fire.”
“Don’t you get tired of missing the events in town because of work?” He drags his finger up and down my arm.
“I don’t miss them. I’m right in the middle. Everyone passes through Murphy’s at one point or another, and I can hear the bands play while I’m working.”
“Well, if you won’t invite me, I’ll just have to invite you.”
“You’re inviting me to the Solstice party?” I try to keep the amusement out of my voice, but it’s hard considering he’s the visitor asking me to an event hosted by my town.
“No, I’m asking you to come to my season opener this weekend.”
My finger stills near the waistband of his shorts. “Isn’t your event in Arizona?”
“Yes.”
“This weekend. As in six days away?” I swallow back my nerves, torn between feeling excited and terrified.This is something you ask a girlfriend. Or boyfriend—does he think of me that way? Do I want him to?
“This weekend,” he repeats. “And before you tell me you can’t possibly leave for a whole two days during a busy summer, I want you to think about what you’re gonna do when you have a second location to worry about. You can’t be both places at once, and this is a good opportunity to test drive a solution for that situation.”
It’s more than a little unnerving that he understands how my mind works after a few short weeks and is prepared to counter my objections. Plus, he’s right,dammit.
“I have months yet to come up with a plan for staffing a second location. You’re asking me to put something in place within a few days.” While that’s true, it’s the bigger implications of what he’s asking that have me leery.
Clearly, this thing with us has gone beyond fling territory. I can admit that to myself, even if I don’t want to admit it to anyone else. What I can’t say for certain is what it’s turned into. There’s been no discussion about that, no mention of whether he’ll be back after he leaves this time around. I assume the fact he’s asking me to his event means he wants to keep this going, but what does that look like? Where would that take us?
It seems reckless to follow him around without knowing where this is headed. Not only does that imply a level of commitment he hasn’t made, it threatens the promise I made to myself to put my livelihood before a relationship. And yeah, maybe I’ve been wondering if there’s a way to have both my career and a boyfriend, but I can’t keep the business running smoothly if I’m not here to do it, which—let’s face it—is a possibility if he wants me to travel with him to support his dreams.
If this thing is for real, I guess that’s not an unreasonable ask, but that doesn’t mean it’s one I can agree to if it might jeopardize my hard work. I’ve got years invested in my business; I can’t throw that away for his career. But I also can’t ask him to sacrifice his goals to satisfy mine.
