“If you’re referring to the fact your presence is court ordered, no. I didn’t tell them that.”
“Shouldn’t you?” I risk a glance in his direction, and while his eyes aren’t exactly friendly, they don’t hold any malice, either. Most people would find that reassuring, but I find it unsettling. The only difference between now and this morning is now he knows about Chase, and he’s making concessions because of it.
“That depends on you.”
“How do you figure?”
Hayden takes what looks like a calming breath before speaking. “I’ve got a boss and a client who both want you on the mountain, so unless you give me a reason to ignore their requests, I’m willing to give them what they want.”
Tension floods my shoulders. “Sounds like you’re breaking the rules for me. I thought you didn’t do that?”
Hayden rests his elbow on the bar and props his head on his hand, settling his steady gaze on me. “I don’t. And I’m not breaking the rules, I’m giving you a chance to follow them.”
“So, you trust me now?” I meet his stare, hoping it makes him back down.
“Let’s not get carried away, but I’m willing to give you a second chance as long as you’re willing to avoid making the same mistake.” His eyes drift to the glass in front of me, and my body relaxes a bit now that I know he’s not backing down.
Now we’re on familiar ground.
Yet for some reason, I don’t let him have the last word.“I’m not an alcoholic.”
“You’re not really convincing me of that, right now.”
My hand closes around the glass as I lean forward, tipping the contents into the sink behind the bar as I arch a brow in his direction. “You were saying?”
His eyes hold mine, expressionless, though I spot the corner of his mouth lift in my peripheral. It's almost like he wants to smile but is too proud, or stubborn, to do it. Either way, it's fucking adorable, and I almost smirk in return.Almost. Then I remember that I don’t even like guys. Plus, enemies—or whatever we are—feels safer than friends, and since I’m starting to care about what he thinks, I need to do everything I can to keep us at each other’s throats.
“You expect me to believe you won’t get another drink the second I leave?”That-a-boy, keep fighting me.
“You want to sit here and babysit to make sure I don’t?”
He mimics my arched brow. “Do I need to, or are you willing to stay sober and make that little kid’s day tomorrow?”
That’s a cheap shot, but effective. I’m still terrified of getting on a board, moving on without Chase there next to me. But I’m even more terrified of turning into the type of person who would ruin a kid’s life because I was too wrapped up in myself to think of anyone else.
Maybe Chase would forgive me for strapping on a board if I’m doing it for Max.
“I’ll be there.”
***
“Well, that didn’t last long.” Hayden shakes his head back and forth with obvious disgust the moment I walk through the door. Evidently, I look as shitty as I feel, but I’m not drunk.
“Calm down, Frosty, I haven’t had a drop since you left, yesterday.”
“Your bloodshot eyes say otherwise.” He purses his lips, which I might find kinda cute if my head wasn’t too foggy to admire them.
I shake my head to get rid of that errant thought, only to wince from the way the motion rattles of my brain.
“This isn’t from drinking, it’s from lack of sleep.” I haven’t tossed and turned like that since the day Chase died. Getting too wasted to think is the only way I’ve been able to sleep since, and facing a day on the mountain had my mind on overdrive. What if I get up there and love it? Am I betraying Chase by doing what he can’t? What if I hateit? Does that mean the life I thought I’d have is over? Do I even care if it is?
The questions kept coming at me all night, but I didn’t drink them away.
Hayden arches his brow as he crosses his arms.
“Scout's honor.” I hold up three fingers. “I told you I’m not an alcoholic. I can stop anytime.”
“Then why haven’t you?” His fingertips drum a steady rhythm on his forearm.
