H-Hayden?
R-He’s my boss. I think. He’s firey
Fireee
Fiery
He’s cool. Doesn’t take my shit. He hatesme though
H-Why would he hate you?
R-I screwed up
H-How?
R-I screwed him (gloat later). Then I left
I purse my lips together, ready to type back afieryresponse until I remember who he thinks he’s talking to, and his obvious state of mind. And anyway, it’s not like he’s bragging, just stating the facts. Albeit insensitively.
H-Why did you leave?
R-He makes me feel
H-Feel what?
R-Everything
H-That’s bad?
R-Yes. Feelings hurt
It’s probably my inherent nature to fix things speaking, but that kind of makes my heart break for him. How much pain is he in if he’s knowingly trying to bury his feelings with alcohol? On the other hand, he’s acknowledging that he’s got them, which is a bigger step than he took the other night. Back then, it was clear he was acting on his feelings even if he wouldn’t admit having them. Now he’s acknowledging they’re the root of the problem. That’s positive, right? Now, I just have to help him see they don’t need to be avoided.
H-Sometimes feelings hurt. Sometimes they don’t. You won’t know which is which if you avoid them by drinking.
R-How do you know I’m drinking
Shit. Well, he always did say he appreciates how I don’t sugar coat things so to speak.
H-You’re texting your dead brother.
I cringe as soon as I hit send.That was maybe too direct.Then a littleHa Habubble pops up next to my text.
R-Smart ass. It’s easier this way
H-What’s easier?
R-Not getting close to people. Then it doesn’t matter when they’re gone
H-Easier doesn’t always mean better.
R-Maybe not
H-Would it be so bad if you got close to someone?
Okay, selfishly I hope he thinks of me as that someone, but even if he doesn’t it’s still good advice. Probably.
Text bubbles pop up and disappear once, twice, then nothing.
