“Eli?” Zath said, his brow pulled together with a wash of upset. Then it twisted to anger. “That asshole has Eli?”
My sad expression conveyed the confirmation.
That roused Zath again into believing he was exempt from healer’s orders. Throwing back the covers, he managed to swing his legs off the bed, but his brace on the side and pause for breath gave away his lack of strength.
“I just need to stretch and wake up a bit more, but I’m coming with you when you go to get him back.”
His skin was slick with a sheen of sweat, and his breath wasn’t steady. I didn’t argue against his determination, believing it would only make the stubborn ass push himself more and delay his healing.
“Death isn’t easy to come back from,” I said quietly.
He looked up with a wave of understanding.
“It seems we’re forming a band of death-touched.” With that, his eyes flicked up to Rose and a hint of fear creased around his eyes. “Though I very much plan to make sure you never acquire a membership.”
“Worry about yourself,” she said, but I thought her face softened at his care. Something she wasn’t used to receiving.
“She’s right,” I said. “I’m not the scared and vulnerable girl of the manor anymore. I… remember a lot of who I was, what I’m capable of.”
I thought about trying to explain the change in me, but Lightsdeath was still an inconceivable notion that I hadn’t the chance to figure out for myself yet.
“I’m getting that sense,” he said bittersweetly. “Being in your company is strangely intimidating.”
I huffed. “No need to flatter me.”
He smiled, and it dispersed some of the dark clouds that swirled around me.
“It’s in the way you carry yourself now: as the leader you were born to be. Even the way you talk with confidence. It’s… I’m so proud of you.” My eyes stung, and I crouched in front of him, taking his hands. Zath added, “But it doesn’t matter what you are or the power you have; you’re still my friend, and I want to be by your side to help.”
“Soon,” I promised.
My gratitude for having Zath in my life was immeasurable. He wasn’t a shield to guard me; he was a pillar of strength on and off a battlefield.
But I couldn’t wait for him to heal to make my move toward retrieving Eltanin.
“How is he?” Rose asked quietly. I detected a note of guilt as she inquired about Nyte now when she hadn’t over the weeks. She could hardly tolerate his company when he was conscious.
“As well as can be for now,” I said.
“Zath might not be able to help, but I can. I want to come with you next time you go scouting.”
“I’ll let you know next time we head out,” I said, though it burned in my throat as a lie.
I had been yearning to have both of them fighting alongside me for weeks, but now I would be acting without them. I was done with merely observing Auster taking his fill of my kingdom and basking in the manipulated minds of my people.
Bidding them goodnight, though I didn’t know if that was accurate when the blood moon always dominated the sky, I left and was heading down the stairs when I heard Davina and Nadia. I found them in the main room in conversation with Nadir, their cheeks flushed from the cold trek back.
“The wings are so unfair,” Nadia grumbled upon seeing me, brushing snow off her shoulders.
She glanced to an invention above the blazing fire pit that kept time for us. Nadir had a flare for unique things, and this used sand like an hourglass, except it spiraled slowly toward hour markers, tracking the whole day. The winter arrived thick and without mercy even in the daytime, but it was closing in on midnight and the late hours plummeted to lethal temperatures.
“You should get warmed up,” I said to them.
Davina seemed to notice my somberness. She approached, reaching out and squeezing my arms.
“Tomorrow will be a better day,” she said, always so optimistic that her presence along with Lilith’s was often the only breath above water any of us felt.
I plastered on a smile, though it was hardly convincing. Tomorrow… well, not even Davina’s warmth could chase away the foreboding chill creeping through me.
