To his credit, Drystan didn’t let a single tear fall after that despite his palpable misery. Drystan stayed put, and I couldn’t leave him. So we stood there and let the sorrow creep in slowly. For his fragile heart, there was a part of me that sympathized with him.
“Anything you love is worth your tears,” I said at last. “Father has never loved anything.”
“I hate you,” Drystan said, three words that formed a blade sharp enough to cut through my own emotionless web. With them he shot his heartbroken gaze, now lined with anger, at me,. Then his first tear fell.
“Hate… now that is something that only hurts you unless you find a way to craft it into a weapon.”
“You sound just like father,” he seethed, with a face far too young to experience such agony.
With that, Drystan stormed out of the room, slamming the door in his wake. I didn’t try to deny it. I didn’t stop him. I didn’t comfort him.
Father gave the order; I carried it out.
Wewereone and the same.
Always one and the same.
I’d so long been numb to that acknowledgement, yet right now it was likeDrystan had punched his small, gentle hand through my chest and ripped out my black heart.
I didn’t care how father saw me. I didn’t care that I was a nightmare whispered among the people.
I did care about Drystan.How he saw me.
Right now, I washismonster.
I wanted to go after him, but I never did. I wanted to lock ourselves in his room and explain why I did it.
I didn’t do any of those things… Because I knew this wouldn’t be the last time father’s cruel ways came down on Drystan, and I thought it best to let his heart know a few breaks so he might learn to protect it before it could shatter.
I was wrong. He was just a kid.
My first step to go after him shifted the ground, and my limbs flailed, trying to catch myself before I could slam into the wall, when the whole room tilted on its axis.
“Drystan!” I called.
Gods, I’d let him down.I should have fought with him. Instead, I’d not only just stood by to watch the first piece of his innocence get taken, but I’d been the one to steal it.
“I’m sorry, Drystan,” I said in defeat, letting my body tumble whichever way the room went.
It stopped spinning and I slammed to my hands and knees, trembling with the aches lancing through my face and abdomen as if I’d taken a fresh beating.
“When I order an assassination, I expect it fulfilled,” father’s voice bellowed, and I knew then we were in the great hall. I recalled this memory.
Another powerful kick from a nearby guard nearly knocked my smaller body onto my back, but I gritted my teeth, tensed my muscles, and stayed firm.
I dragged my sight up to see Drystan, who barely looked older than twelve mortal years. He stood by father, looking at me with expressionless eyes, but his features occasionally winced at my pain. He’d told father of my failure to kill the enemy he’d given me as a target.
I’d set it up so perfectly when I arrived at the family’s home. It was a vampire who’d deserted his place in father’s uprising, and in penance he’d ordered him and any family he’d had killed as an example for others. But he had a wife and two innocent children. He’d pleaded endlessly at my feet, and so I staged their deaths instead.
It was the first time I’d taken Drystan on a task with me because he’d begged to go. And perhaps it was because he was with me I’d found the mercy for the cowardly soldier. I wasn’t ready to claim another piece of Drystan’s innocence.
The irony that almost made me laugh was that I could kill every person in this room with little effort. The guard who’d carried out my beating woulddie eventually; I’m sure father was even counting on it. Yet I kneeled here and accepted my punishment like the pitiful child he saw me as right now, because if I didn’t, he’d warned me before my rebellions that he would inflict it on Drystan instead.
I didn’t know why my little brother had betrayed me. Perhaps in revenge for killing his pet. It didn’t matter, and in truth, I didn’t want to be spared from this beating.
“You two are dismissed; get out of my sight,” father hissed, turning away.
I peeled myself off the ground and staggered after Drystan. Part of me understood why he did it, but my anger grew to be too much with the throbbing of my body. When we were alone in the hall, I pushed him against the wall.
