Zadkiel paused. His head bowed, weighed with conflict and sorrow.
“I miss the man he was too,” I said carefully. “He was kind and caring, and I will always be to blame for what he became. Even though it was not my fault, his spiral all links back to me.”
Zadkiel’s jaw tensed.
“I don’t know if I can forgive you,” he said honestly.
“I understand.”
There was a part of myself I would never be able to forgive either.
Zadkiel nodded. “I don’t know why I came. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I would say to you. I’ve been angry and sad and just… disappointed. In Auster for what he became, but then I feel guilt because he’s not here to explain and I…” Zadkiel hissed, at war with his own emotions.
I closed the distance between us tentatively. Then I reached out a hand to rest on his arm, relieved when he didn’t shrug me off.
“Time has a way of softening the edges of pain, healing wounds, and even offering forgiveness to those who once seemed beyond redemption. Auster did terrible things, but his heart… I choose to believe it loved with pure intentions despite his actions. I hope in time you’ll forgive me too.”
Zadkiel finally looked up, staring closely into my eyes. To my relief and surprise, he approached me for an embrace. There was something healing in it, as though the wound Auster left in me had been stitched closed. Zadkiel was a living reminder of Auster’s love. A young celestial he raised like a son.
When we pulled away, and gave him a fond smile.
“You should take his place on the Nova province,” I said.
Zadkiel’s eyes widened. “Me? I’m not a High Celestial. I can’t do what he did.”
“Yes, you can. You have the makings of a fair and righteous ruler, Zadkiel Nova. Only you can carry on his legacy for thegoodit inspired before the clutches of evil took hold.”
His eyes glistened and I fought my own tears.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“No, thank you,” I said. “I don’t know what’s to come. The construct of the High Celestials will be no more, but the provinces still stand, and the people need a guiding light.”
“Isn’t that you?”
“A beacon of light casts many rays; I hope you’ll be one of them to help me restore these lands.”
Zadkiel smiled fondly, and even though he had a long path of healing, the lift of his spirit was the first sign of hope in the aftermath of all we suffered.
Nyte had left me alone to say goodbye to Laviana, but as I walked down the hill after Zadkiel left to go back to Althenia, I found him waiting at the bottom for me. My chest ignited in a way I didn’t think would ever tame.
The long night of mass funeral pyres lay ahead, but I was ready to bear the stacking grief for the fallen so long as he was with me.
Nyte
By midnight we stood watching the final funeral pyres burning on the hills outside the city. The people gathered all around them, and Astraea lit the one in front of us.
It wasn’t the first time I’d witnessed such funerals, but it was the first time I’d felt anything personally. Astraea gave her attention to the mourning citizens while the fires blazed. Taking their hands, exchanging words of condolence and gratitude. I followed right beside her silently. A few cast me wary looks and quickly made themselves scarce. My reputation as Nightsdeath would not be so easily dismissed, but I was prepared to keeptrying.For Astraea, I had to keep working toward making them see me as their protector, not their villain.
But during Astraea’s new reign as the Ruler of Solanis, there would come new enemies, new resistance, and I would always be willing and ready to unleash the monster that would always live within me against anything or anyone who opposed her.
By the time we left the scene of mourning and retired to the castle, Astraea was exhausted. All the emotions of the day and night, so much shared loss and sorrow, made her collapse the moment we stepped into her rooms. I caughther, but she didn’t speak. Didn’t do anything but let me lift her into my arms and carry her into the bathing room.
She hadn’t let me convince her to take a moment to bathe and tend to her wounds before the funerals. Now I wasn’t asking. Astraea was so lost in her own unpleasant thoughts she let me begin to undress her, but her distant silence was killing me inside.
“Please talk to me,” I said, taking her chin.
Her silver-blue eyes finally met mine, and the trouble in them was tearing me apart.
