“She did! He had references!”
“From other criminals, probably,” Kane mutters behind me.
“This isn’t our problem.” I mean it to sound final, but it comes out more tired than anything. “We’re not ruining Christmas. He ruined it when he decided to commit arson, skip bail, and hide in a Santa suit instead of facing what he did.”
She has her hands on her hips, staring at us, lips thinning. “Then one ofyouneeds to replace him!”
The words hang in the air like smoke.
Kane’s laugh is sudden, loud, bouncing off the storefronts. “Oh, shit. Oh, this is beautiful.” He’s grinning now, and it’s the kind of smile that means someone is about to suffer, and that someone is usually me. “Chris. You. In a Santa suit. I would pay actual money to see that happen.”
“Not happening.” I’m already shaking my head, but I can feel where this is going, and I hate it.
“Chris would be perfect,” Kane continues, warming to the idea like it’s a roaring fire. “You’ve got the build for it. The height. That grumpy-bastard mall-Santa energy. Kids’ll think you’re the real deal, straight from the North Pole, here to judge their souls.”
“I’ll throw you into traffic.”
“You’d miss me.”
Noel’s mouth twitches, which is as close as he gets to laughing in public. “The suit would hide most of your more alarming features. Make you almost approachable.”
“I’m going to murder both of you if you don’t shut up.”
Lily steps closer, chin tilted up as if she’s not afraid to pick a fight with me. Brave girl. “You’re taking away our Santa. The least you can do is provide a replacement.”
“Ma’am, I’m a bounty hunter. I track down criminals and drag them back to face justice. I don’t do parties.”
Her eyes narrow. She may be small, but she somehow manages to appear like she could light me on fire with sheer willpower.
“Congratualtions,” she snaps. “You just explained your literal job description. I didn’t ask you to do that. I asked you to fix the problem you caused.”
I stare. No one talks to me like this. Usually, people go all wide-eyed, shuffle back, and give me space, rarely making eye contact. Not her.
“We had one Santa,” she says. “And you just arrested him.”
I glance around, half expecting someone to step in and pull her away, but the crowd has conveniently vanished. Cowards.
She steps even closer, invading my personal space. “Listen, Tall, Dark, and Gruff.” She’s not backing down, and there’s something almost impressive about it. This woman who barely comes up to my chest, staring me down like she’s the one with the advantage here. “You’ve created a very immediate crisis. If we don’t find a Santa in an hour, there might be a riot. And you owe us.”
“We don’t owe you anything.”
“You’re destroying my sister’s event.”
“He destroyed it.” I nod at Declan. “Take it up with the arsonist.”
But she’s not glaring at Declan. She’s staring daggers at me, and her expression shifts, going softer but somehow more dangerous. “Please,” she pleads, quieter now. “I don’t want to be the one to tell my sister, Hannah, that her Winter Party is ruinedbecause some bounty hunters couldn’t spare a couple of hours of their time.”
And there it is. The guilt trip, delivered with surgical precision.
“That’s manipulation,” I point out.
“Is it working?”
“No.”
Kane claps me on the shoulder hard enough to rattle my teeth. “Look at her face, man. Look at those eyes. That’s weaponized cuteness. You can’t say no to that.”
“Watch me. No.”
